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| Approaching is hopeless https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=143343 |
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| Author: | Tyketto [ Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Approaching is hopeless |
Unless you are a alpha male or ladies man, opening a woman is not a good idea. They have the inner strength to be able to handle attractive women when they open them. These guys are not overcome with fear when talking to girls. How do I become strong enough to open a woman? I can learn openers and routines until my balls are blue, but that wont give me the ability to be good with women. I thought that learning the game was the answer. I have done openers, only to not be able to know how to handle women. After my opener, they answer, get cold, or the situation just turns akward. There is a huge insecure feeling that comes over me. Looking to routines to make me feel safe is not going to work. How do I overcome this feeling of being insecure to be able to handle talking with attractive women? |
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| Author: | adam2pac [ Fri Aug 17, 2012 7:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
its not hopeless! do you go out alone or with a wingman!? seriously get yourself a mentor! |
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| Author: | Tyketto [ Fri Aug 17, 2012 7:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I am working with a mentor right now. He has been extremely helpful. This week he is ill and wanted to get some additional help. I believe that I am a good person and that I have stuff to offer a woman. The problem is that attractive women are hit on constantly. They are very picky and it is hard to be given the time of day. It is hard to distinguish yourself from the last 25 losers that just tried to get with her earlier today. We are approaching them and yet we need them reciprocate to be successful. Our success is dependant on the response of another person. That is something we have no control over. |
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| Author: | adam2pac [ Fri Aug 17, 2012 9:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
i totally understand you and i think exactly the same as you do, we both have limiting beliefs. trust me on one thing, women are not hit on as much as we think they are (i'm not talking about in clubs/bars but just generally) because most guys are too scared and secondly, women want to meet guys. if you can, read a book called models by mark manson. changed a few of my limiting beliefs, the part where he explains how women are rooting for you, really helped me. |
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| Author: | worldrunner [ Sat Aug 18, 2012 1:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Unless you are a alpha male or ladies man, opening a woman is not a good idea. They have the inner strength to be able to handle attractive women when they open them. These guys are not overcome with fear when talking to girls.
One think PUAs do not say... is that everybody gets rejected, this thing of 100% close ratio only happens when you do not approach... Only sociopaths who have not empathy and respect at all do manipulate all persons they meet. And is not that they overcome the fear of talking to girls... it is just that they have a much bigger fear or pain that is driving them to act that way. Quote:
How do I become strong enough to open a woman? I can learn openers and routines until my balls are blue, but that wont give me the ability to be good with women.
Find a way that is fun for you to open. So you will be doing something that is fun for you... Forget about the results, everybody gets rejected. Yes some women want to meet guys... that does not mean that all of them all the time will want to meet someone... The result you get with them has very few to do on who you are... It has much more to do with them. See opening as showing them that a door to connect with someone is open and respect their choice to go through the door or not. Quote:
I thought that learning the game was the answer. I have done openers, only to not be able to know how to handle women. After my opener, they answer, get cold, or the situation just turns akward. There is a huge insecure feeling that comes over me. Looking to routines to make me feel safe is not going to work.
According to recent studies in psychology every emotion we experience has the same feelings in our bodies. Our senses sense something out of the ordinary and adrenaline starts to cover our body... Then our brain very quick analyses what is happening in the surroundings and interprets the feeling as fear, excitement, anger, love, etc. So as long as you are attracted to women you'll feel exited to go and talk to them and this feeling will never go away. I mean you can do amazing NLP, EFT or any other psychological trick to shut down that feeling, and yes it will work.. but you'll see that the drive to meet women will also disappear. How do I overcome this feeling of being insecure to be able to handle talking with attractive women? Just learn to accept yourself and be happy with who you are and the things you do... So that you have fun in the process, because all routines, techniques, patterns, etc can help, but very little... if a girl wants to meet you, unless you do something really really stupid a couple of times in a row, you'll loose your chances... On the other hand if a girl really does not want to meet you... no routine will work. Quote: I believe that I am a good person and that I have stuff to offer a woman. The problem is that attractive women are hit on constantly. They are very picky and it is hard to be given the time of day. It is hard to distinguish yourself from the last 25 losers that just tried to get with her earlier today.
Women are not hit as much as you think, but yes they are very picky and I've the feeling that they've been manipulated a lot by the media to become like that. The last 25 guys who hit on them are not losers at all. Really it requires courage to hit on a girl so anybody who tries that deserves a lot of respect. Quote: We are approaching them and yet we need them reciprocate to be successful. Our success is dependant on the response of another person. That is something we have no control over.
Exactly that's where PUAs lie we can't control their responses... Stop thinking about success... go there to have fun and be proud of doing what is right to do. Final advice... Another thing that PUAs do not say is that it is very uncomfortable most of the times for the girl and for the friends around the girl to approach them when they do not want to be bothered... Doing that even if they laughed and replied to your opinion opener will make you look like a creepy weirdo with no social intelligence... Still open your eyes and be patient there are always women who want to meet someone, they are easy to notice... go for them. The guys I know who are "naturals" and "successful" with women are not the ones who approach a lot and do a lot of techniques... are the ones who take all opportunities that they find. |
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| Author: | worldrunner [ Sat Aug 18, 2012 1:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Unless you are a alpha male or ladies man, opening a woman is not a good idea. They have the inner strength to be able to handle attractive women when they open them. These guys are not overcome with fear when talking to girls.
One think PUAs do not say... is that everybody gets rejected, this thing of 100% close ratio only happens when you do not approach... Only sociopaths who have not empathy and respect at all do manipulate all persons they meet. And is not that they overcome the fear of talking to girls... it is just that they have a much bigger fear or pain that is driving them to act that way. Quote:
How do I become strong enough to open a woman? I can learn openers and routines until my balls are blue, but that wont give me the ability to be good with women.
Find a way that is fun for you to open. So you will be doing something that is fun for you... Forget about the results, everybody gets rejected. Yes some women want to meet guys... that does not mean that all of them all the time will want to meet someone... The result you get with them has very few to do on who you are... It has much more to do with them. See opening as showing them that a door to connect with someone is open and respect their choice to go through the door or not. Quote:
I thought that learning the game was the answer. I have done openers, only to not be able to know how to handle women. After my opener, they answer, get cold, or the situation just turns akward. There is a huge insecure feeling that comes over me. Looking to routines to make me feel safe is not going to work.
According to recent studies in psychology every emotion we experience has the same feelings in our bodies. Our senses sense something out of the ordinary and adrenaline starts to cover our body... Then our brain very quick analyses what is happening in the surroundings and interprets the feeling as fear, excitement, anger, love, etc. So as long as you are attracted to women you'll feel exited to go and talk to them and this feeling will never go away. I mean you can do amazing NLP, EFT or any other psychological trick to shut down that feeling, and yes it will work.. but you'll see that the drive to meet women will also disappear. How do I overcome this feeling of being insecure to be able to handle talking with attractive women? Just learn to accept yourself and be happy with who you are and the things you do... So that you have fun in the process, because all routines, techniques, patterns, etc can help, but very little... if a girl wants to meet you, unless you do something really really stupid a couple of times in a row, you'll loose your chances... On the other hand if a girl really does not want to meet you... no routine will work. Quote: I believe that I am a good person and that I have stuff to offer a woman. The problem is that attractive women are hit on constantly. They are very picky and it is hard to be given the time of day. It is hard to distinguish yourself from the last 25 losers that just tried to get with her earlier today.
Women are not hit as much as you think, but yes they are very picky and I've the feeling that they've been manipulated a lot by the media to become like that. The last 25 guys who hit on them are not losers at all. Really it requires courage to hit on a girl so anybody who tries that deserves a lot of respect. Quote: We are approaching them and yet we need them reciprocate to be successful. Our success is dependant on the response of another person. That is something we have no control over.
Exactly that's where PUAs lie we can't control their responses... Stop thinking about success... go there to have fun and be proud of doing what is right to do. Final advice... Another thing that PUAs do not say is that it is very uncomfortable most of the times for the girl and for the friends around the girl to approach them when they do not want to be bothered... Doing that even if they laughed and replied to your opinion opener will make you look like a creepy weirdo with no social intelligence... Still open your eyes and be patient there are always women who want to meet someone, they are easy to notice... go for them. The guys I know who are "naturals" and "successful" with women are not the ones who approach a lot and do a lot of techniques... are the ones who take all opportunities that they find. |
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| Author: | C1PH3R [ Sat Aug 18, 2012 1:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: The problem is that attractive women are hit on constantly. They are very picky and it is hard to be given the time of day. It is hard to distinguish yourself from the last 25 losers that just tried to get with her earlier today.
Funny man. You call 'attractive' women picky and yet, would you date an ugly chick? Your biggest problem is probably lack of confidence since you just called yourself a loser. If you can't distinguish yourself from 25 losers you probably are one. As said before, they are not losers. Just other guys trying a shot at a pretty girl and yes, you will have to distinguish yourself. Say you could eat 1 apple a day and you can choose from 25 apples, you don't care which one you pick and maybe you won't even eat an apple today. But if one day, you find a big, shining red apple laying there, looking all delicious and shit you will want it badly. You need to be that irresistable apple mate. Go be the apple! |
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| Author: | pleasureseeker [ Sun Aug 19, 2012 11:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
if your having trouble opening... definitely try day game, day game is very easy to approach because girls are not in a bitchy/guarded mood. There guard is down. start out with something simple just say "hey do you know where the math building is" to like 10 people in a row, then once you've built social momentum (comfort opening) then say "I have a busy schedule today, do you mind showing me closer where it's at? ... if she says yes you can practice talking to her without worries of distractions (your isolated her ) |
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| Author: | NerfHerder [ Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hello my friend, I believe it’s defiantly a numbers game. The more targets you approach the easier it gets. Say hello to the checkout chick, ask when the bus arrives, etc. the point is ask complete strangers….ask yourself when is the next time you are going to meet these people??? Are you going to look silly and embarrass yourself??..Maybe but who cares…. Build up your confidence. |
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| Author: | pumpington [ Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Approaching is hopeless |
Quote: Quote: Unless you are a alpha male or ladies man, opening a woman is not a good idea. LOL, how do you think they built up their confidence to reach that status in the first place? just approached a women and shazam it was 100% success straight out the gate? Quote: They have the inner strength to be able to handle attractive women when they open them. These guys are not overcome with fear when talking to girls.
nope, AA never really goes away at all, you just become desensitized to it after dealing with it over and over and over and over, and after hanging out with really attractive girls for an extended amount of time and realizing they are just people instead of gods or some weird shit, just because you don't have experience in being around them, you start to be indifferent to their shit, cool people are cool, lame people are lameQuote: How do I become strong enough to open a woman? I can learn openers and routines until my balls are blue, but that wont give me the ability to be good with women.
you are strong enough to open women, hi can be your new best opener, you just have to stop putting so much pressure on yourself, go out and meet women and talk to them, you don't have to be some master pussy wizard or something, you trying to impress other people or improve yourself?Quote: I thought that learning the game was the answer. I have done openers, only to not be able to know how to handle women. After my opener, they answer, get cold, or the situation just turns akward. There is a huge insecure feeling that comes over me. Looking to routines to make me feel safe is not going to work.
there is no magic pill, you can't go from pussy to rock solid fearless boss because you read a book, it takes practice, time, effort, improvement/change, if you feel awkward in a situation, that is comming from inside you, that is your perception of reality and mind frameQuote: How do I overcome this feeling of being insecure to be able to handle talking with attractive women? even if it takes you 10 years, so be it, its sink or swim, no one can hold your hand, and there is no easy way, you are either motivated enough to change, or you will remain the same and face the same life as long as you stay in your comfort zone, you have what it takes, you just have to believe in yourself and go do it, how you manage to find that motivation and how you pull that off and challenge yourself is dependant on you GOOD LUCK |
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