PUA Forum :: Need Help with Systematic Desensitization

You have trouble approaching because you live inside your mind, not in reality. It is an inner game problem. There's no magic pill to this. When you have a fear, the only way to remove it is by starting to take more and more action and facing that fear. You don't need to wear any masks or do absurd things. You focus on what you need to do. Turn your brain off, let your feet walk in the direction of the set. Initiate the first touch. She'll look at you and you won't have any other choice but to open. You need to understand that you're not opening to get something from her. You're not there to seek her approval. If you're not there for her, but for your own reason, rejection doesn't exist. Why? Because you're already enough with or without her in your life. You need to completely internalize this mindset of: "I'm enough, I'm the best, I'm attractive, I have abundance...what difference does it make if this girl accepts my approach or not??"

I had this problem with AA too, don't worry. It changed not with how many ridiculous things I made...but with slowly working on how I see every situation and having the correct mindset before approaching. The correct mindset is what I stated above. You cannot let the response of one girl affect your destiny as a man. You're a fucking man, remember that. You take action no matter what. Work on your dominance and BELIEVE you're attractive as hell. Starting this moment, you're a 10. Never doubt it, no matter how many girls reject you. They don't know what they're losing.

Good success!

Author:	MaleNurse [ Tue May 15, 2012 9:00 am ]
Post subject:	Need Help with Systematic Desensitization
So I am having trouble beginning in the PUA field. I find the approach to be completely nerve racking even when I know exactly what to say. I was thinking of using systematic desensitization to slowly overcome a hierarchy of fears. Here's a few ideas I had in mind. -Flirt recklessly with cashiers of all sorts They are after all PAID to be pleasant to you. Plus I think its a great way to plant seeds, come across as non-needy / confident since your goal is mainly to just open up to them. - Go to a bookstore like Barnes and Nobles or any other department store where an employee uniform is very indistinguishable, and ask young ladies if they require assistance giving the impression that you're an employee offering help. I find this to help too because if they say no, you get psychologically adjusted to being "turned" down, at the same time you're still exercising those mouth muscles to talk to them. And if they say Yes, tell them the truth (i dont work here, I think you're cute). I tried that one in the past, so far it's been a good way to break the ice. - Get a ski mask like Jon from Delocated and do approaches while wearing it. I haven't tried this idea, but I noticed this a long time ago during one Halloween. I was wearing a Gene Simmons KISS mask and there is just something so comfortable about being anonymous as I talked to people. As long as you don't come off creepy, I think wearing a ski mask and hell even explaining why you're wearing should help if it gets you to talking to people versus feeling uncomfortable ALL the time and never approaching anyone. I was thinking of getting a big "HELLO MY NAME IS" and naming myself "Shy-loh", kind of a pun on itself because lets face it, I'm shy as a mofo. - Then there's the rejection exercise. I saw a youtube video of this where a guy gets rejected 30 times in under 2 minutes, I guess to take the sting as well as the emphasis out of each of the encounters to a point where rejection from one person is like a walk in the park. I would love to hear everyone's feedback on this, and any advice or ideas are much obliged.

Author:	pumpington [ Tue May 15, 2012 9:37 am ]
Post subject:
it sort of reminds me of diving at a pool, the higher you go the more nervous it makes you, but once you have jumped off a few platforms you feel fine, but every time you spend time away from the platforms you come back and it sort of makes you nervous again, except this time it is slightly less then last time because you know what to expect, sometimes you just can't initially right away jump off that top platform because the fear is too great, but if you could, you would probably realize quickly you had nothing to fear and will become much more comfortable and confident much faster for pushing yourself

Author:	BazookaJoe [ Tue May 15, 2012 2:55 pm ]
Post subject:
Please don't tell me you seriously consider approaching while wearing a Ski mask.

Author:	MaleNurse [ Tue May 15, 2012 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Please don't tell me you seriously consider approaching while wearing a Ski mask. Very serious.

Author:	MaleNurse [ Wed May 16, 2012 7:45 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Please don't tell me you seriously consider approaching while wearing a Ski mask. In fact, I am bit offended you would question me on that, Sir! This tells me that you are close minded, and never had a genuine idea in your life that you used to give yourself a good time, other than of course that idea you probably had when you were alone on prom night about removing your 10th-12th ribs so you could yourself a really "good time" with self-oral gratification. Any other takers on my ideas??

PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Need Help with Systematic Desensitization https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=135953	Page 1 of 1

Author:	*FlaiR* [ Wed May 16, 2012 8:23 pm ]
Post subject:
You have trouble approaching because you live inside your mind, not in reality. It is an inner game problem. There's no magic pill to this. When you have a fear, the only way to remove it is by starting to take more and more action and facing that fear. You don't need to wear any masks or do absurd things. You focus on what you need to do. Turn your brain off, let your feet walk in the direction of the set. Initiate the first touch. She'll look at you and you won't have any other choice but to open. You need to understand that you're not opening to get something from her. You're not there to seek her approval. If you're not there for her, but for your own reason, rejection doesn't exist. Why? Because you're already enough with or without her in your life. You need to completely internalize this mindset of: "I'm enough, I'm the best, I'm attractive, I have abundance...what difference does it make if this girl accepts my approach or not??" I had this problem with AA too, don't worry. It changed not with how many ridiculous things I made...but with slowly working on how I see every situation and having the correct mindset before approaching. The correct mindset is what I stated above. You cannot let the response of one girl affect your destiny as a man. You're a fucking man, remember that. You take action no matter what. Work on your dominance and BELIEVE you're attractive as hell. Starting this moment, you're a 10. Never doubt it, no matter how many girls reject you. They don't know what they're losing. Good success!

Author:	MaleNurse [ Wed May 16, 2012 8:27 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You have trouble approaching because you live inside your mind, not in reality. It is an inner game problem. There's no magic pill to this. When you have a fear, the only way to remove it is by starting to take more and more action and facing that fear. You don't need to wear any masks or do absurd things. You focus on what you need to do. Turn your brain off, let your feet walk in the direction of the set. Initiate the first touch. She'll look at you and you won't have any other choice but to open. You need to understand that you're not opening to get something from her. You're not there to seek her approval. If you're not there for her, but for your own reason, rejection doesn't exist. Why? Because you're already enough with or without her in your life. You need to completely internalize this mindset of: "I'm enough, I'm the best, I'm attractive, I have abundance...what difference does it make if this girl accepts my approach or not??" I had this problem with AA too, don't worry. It changed not with how many ridiculous things I made...but with slowly working on how I see every situation and having the correct mindset before approaching. The correct mindset is what I stated above. You cannot let the response of one girl affect your destiny as a man. You're a fucking man, remember that. You take action no matter what. Work on your dominance and BELIEVE you're attractive as hell. Starting this moment, you're a 10. Never doubt it, no matter how many girls reject you. They don't know what they're losing. Good success! Mr. FlaiR, I am honored to have your input. Starting yesterday, I am a Mofo-ing 10. Edit: I am taking a picture of this on my phone, and carrying it with me wherever i go. It's easy to say "I'm ready" on the computer, in real time its a whole 'nother feeling.

Author:	*FlaiR* [ Wed May 16, 2012 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:
The best video that explains your situation. It's 1min30 sec long..watch this http://www.wimp.com/nofear/

Author:	*FlaiR* [ Thu May 17, 2012 1:51 am ]
Post subject:
I'm glad this helped you and remember; If men have walked the moon and built civilisations, you can sure as hell learn how to talk to girls. Just believe in yourself that no matter how much time it's going to take, you will get there eventually. Have fun!

Author:	shiki007 [ Sat Dec 29, 2012 2:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Need Help with Systematic Desensitization
hey hii this is true...

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