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Opening question - desperately need help from mPUAs
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Author:  CarterNeedsGame [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Opening question - desperately need help from mPUAs
OK... my game is generally OK... I don't suffer from AA particularly ; I'm quite eloquent and a decent conversationalist ; I can escalate sexually... etc.

However, I find it very hard to approach women in the day time (I don't really do night game). Let me explain why:
At 41, I am mostly attracted to girls who are much younger (20-30), and this makes it difficult for me to approach...

Approaching directly makes me look a bit creepy (who's this 40 y/o creep telling me I look cute?).
On the other hand, indirect approaches with a canned opinion opener are just silly and DLV in my opinion.

This leaves me with situational openers, but by the time I can think of something relevent, the girl is usually walking down the street in the opposite direction... If I turn around and stop her, this makes the situational opener somewhat incongruous.

I would really welcome help from mPUAs to give me a few universal openers which I could use in the streets/ coffee shops/ shops... etc.

Also, I live in the UK but originally Spanish, and I was wondering if there was a way I could use my accent to my advantage. I've been trying to think of openers that could make good use of this (I'm new in town ; can you recommend...), but again, asking the help of a 25 y/o for bar or restaurant recommendations feels a bit incongruous.

This inability to open consistently is seriously limiting my game & practice, and I would really welcome help/suggestions.
Author:  PUA Kenny [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Best openers are indirect ones:especially in your case(age).

But situational openers would be best also for you.

But I really don't see the rational behind why you don't do night game.

Since your looking for situational openers,There are no openers I can provide you with.

Your prob' isn't openers.Your prob is getting rid of this mindset that you're too old to approach.

Use situational/indirect openers.

You:Hey girls,where can I get some good coffee around here[with your Spanish accent]?

Your accent should be a DHV.

When she or they answer,don't just say ok and leave or let them go.

Instantly stacc forth into something like this:

You:"I've been in The UK for 2 months now but haven't drunk a good cup of damn cafe!Is it so hard to find things around this place"?

After they reply,kill the codes opener.Don't milk the opener by going bacc and forth on it or you'd bore them.

You could follow up with,"do y'all drink coffee"?

But your issue seems to be on calibration and timing.
Author:  giacomolisotti [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
As k-loc said the problem exists only if you think it exists so first of all get rid of this mindset that you are too old.

Secondly I think that "I'm new in town, can you recommend me [X]" could work great and it's not creepy

Furthermore I'd try to open in SPANISH, that would break a pattern and make you look more interesting, then as they tell you they dont understand go on and speak english with your sexy spanish accent.
Author:  PUA Kenny [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
As k-loc said the problem exists only if you think it exists so first of all get rid of this mindset that you are too old.

Secondly I think that "I'm new in town, can you recommend me [X]" could work great and it's not creepy

Furthermore I'd try to open in SPANISH, that would break a pattern and make you look more interesting, then as they tell you they dont understand go on and speak english with your sexy spanish accent.
Great advise Giacomo on opening in Spanish at first,then to English.Im fluent in Spanish so Im gonna start opening girls in Spanish and try putting on some weird/sexy Engliah accent lol.
Author:  giacomolisotti [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes, first of all one of the best ways to catch the attention is breaking a pattern.
An example of this would be a seller coming up to you and saying: "Today I'm not gonna try and sell you anything, and I want you to promise not to buy anything from me!"

How much attention would that grab?

So opening in a foreign language confuses the other person for a second creating some light 'waking trance' that you can use to move to the next step more easily.

Secondly women are attracted to foreigners for a genetic reason. As cave people we used to live in tribes having sex with out relatives. When someone new came around it would be wise to copulate with him to mix different genes and create better individuals.

Thirdly, people like to help because it puts them in a position of power, when people ask for your help you feel flattered and lightly superior and proud of your knowledge. How cool is it to show the best places of your town to a foreign friend who's amazed by how many things you know ? ;)
Author:  CarterNeedsGame [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the suggestions guys....

The problem is however:
- I can't really say I'm new in town (I've been living here 15 years, and it'd be pretty much obvious to the girl as soon as she'd get to know me/my friends).
- It's really sneaky to open in Spanish when I speak fluent English (albeit with a slight accent). How long will I be able to carry out that deception?

The problem is not that I feel or have the mindset I am too old to approach: it is that,
- if I approach direct (I saw you walking past and wanted to tell you you were cute), I get a lot of negative reactions due to my age (I don't look bad at all but, let's face it, a 41 y/o looks nothing like a 25 y/o ; and the age gap seems to creep girls out only when I cold approach - they're usually ok with it later on in the convo, if I manage to take them that far)
- If I approach indirect with an opinion opener, same problem: why is this old creep asking me who lies more, girls or boys?

That leaves me with situational... which is fine when it's asking for directions... but it's fucking hard to transition to a conversation from such an simple information exchange...
Author:  PUA Kenny [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thanks for the suggestions guys....

The problem is however:
- I can't really say I'm new in town (I've been living here 15 years, and it'd be pretty much obvious to the girl as soon as she'd get to know me/my friends).
- It's really sneaky to open in Spanish when I speak fluent English (albeit with a slight accent). How long will I be able to carry out that deception?

The problem is not that I feel or have the mindset I am too old to approach: it is that,
- if I approach direct (I saw you walking past and wanted to tell you you were cute), I get a lot of negative reactions due to my age (I don't look bad at all but, let's face it, a 41 y/o looks nothing like a 25 y/o ; and the age gap seems to creep girls out only when I cold approach - they're usually ok with it later on in the convo, if I manage to take them that far
- If I approach indirect with an opinion opener, same problem: why is this old creep asking me who lies more, girls or boys?

Bro it's not deception.

Ok,since you've been living in the UK so long,then improvise.Come up with something else.

Tell her you speak Spanish as your main language,so it's not deception if she finds out later you speak fluent English.

That leaves me with situational... which is fine when it's asking for directions... but it's fucking hard to transition to a conversation from such an simple information exchange...
Author:  giacomolisotti [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 6:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thanks for the suggestions guys....

The problem is however:
- I can't really say I'm new in town (I've been living here 15 years, and it'd be pretty much obvious to the girl as soon as she'd get to know me/my friends).
- It's really sneaky to open in Spanish when I speak fluent English (albeit with a slight accent). How long will I be able to carry out that deception?

The problem is not that I feel or have the mindset I am too old to approach: it is that,
- if I approach direct (I saw you walking past and wanted to tell you you were cute), I get a lot of negative reactions due to my age (I don't look bad at all but, let's face it, a 41 y/o looks nothing like a 25 y/o ; and the age gap seems to creep girls out only when I cold approach - they're usually ok with it later on in the convo, if I manage to take them that far)
- If I approach indirect with an opinion opener, same problem: why is this old creep asking me who lies more, girls or boys?

That leaves me with situational... which is fine when it's asking for directions... but it's fucking hard to transition to a conversation from such an simple information exchange...
* Ok, I don't want you to lie so you can slightly change the question so that it's just a curiosity, like:
"I've been going to this pub but I wonder if there's a better one I haven't discovered, what's your favourite?"

* Direct approach is not for you because it's creepy due to age difference. You need to start with a normal question and then show value indirectly, and that shouldn't be difficult for you since you are older and more interesting than most 20year old guys.

The question can be situational and not just about places, it can be about something you were thinking or some problem you have and you need to get an opinion from here. The problem with "who lies more men or women" is that it's totally out of context. Instead let's say you see a girl with a fancy pair of boots, go to her and tell her "Hey I like your boots and I think they would make a great birhday gift for a friend of mine, do you think I could buy them or maybe shoes are something personal that she needs to choose by herself?
bla bla

oh yea..and where did you buy them?

bla bla

Oh by the way I really like your style and you could be interesting, I'm older but i can recognize when a woman mature enough to hold interesting conversation..what do you say we go have some coffee together? Or you could help me buy the shoes :)"

you say "it's fucking hard to transition to a conversation from such an simple information exchange": yes it's hard but that's the difference between a PUA and a chode, because a PUA has the guts to just say "btw, why don't we grab a coffee someday?" and the other cant'.
Author:  PUA Kenny [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 6:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Yes, first of all one of the best ways to catch the attention is breaking a pattern.
An example of this would be a seller coming up to you and saying: "Today I'm not gonna try and sell you anything, and I want you to promise not to buy anything from me!"

How much attention would that grab?

So opening in a foreign language confuses the other person for a second creating some light 'waking trance' that you can use to move to the next step more easily.

Secondly women are attracted to foreigners for a genetic reason. As cave people we used to live in tribes having sex with out relatives. When someone new came around it would be wise to copulate with him to mix different genes and create better individuals.

Thirdly, people like to help because it puts them in a position of power, when people ask for your help you feel flattered and lightly superior and proud of your knowledge. How cool is it to show the best places of your town to a foreign friend who's amazed by how many things you know ? ;)
Great insights Giacomo.Im gonna write a blog post on opening in a foreign language inspired by your insights.

Im definitely digging this approach.
Author:  CarterNeedsGame [ Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Thanks for the suggestions guys....

The problem is however:
- I can't really say I'm new in town (I've been living here 15 years, and it'd be pretty much obvious to the girl as soon as she'd get to know me/my friends).
- It's really sneaky to open in Spanish when I speak fluent English (albeit with a slight accent). How long will I be able to carry out that deception?

The problem is not that I feel or have the mindset I am too old to approach: it is that,
- if I approach direct (I saw you walking past and wanted to tell you you were cute), I get a lot of negative reactions due to my age (I don't look bad at all but, let's face it, a 41 y/o looks nothing like a 25 y/o ; and the age gap seems to creep girls out only when I cold approach - they're usually ok with it later on in the convo, if I manage to take them that far)
- If I approach indirect with an opinion opener, same problem: why is this old creep asking me who lies more, girls or boys?

That leaves me with situational... which is fine when it's asking for directions... but it's fucking hard to transition to a conversation from such an simple information exchange...
* Ok, I don't want you to lie so you can slightly change the question so that it's just a curiosity, like:
"I've been going to this pub but I wonder if there's a better one I haven't discovered, what's your favourite?"

* Direct approach is not for you because it's creepy due to age difference. You need to start with a normal question and then show value indirectly, and that shouldn't be difficult for you since you are older and more interesting than most 20year old guys.

The question can be situational and not just about places, it can be about something you were thinking or some problem you have and you need to get an opinion from here. The problem with "who lies more men or women" is that it's totally out of context. Instead let's say you see a girl with a fancy pair of boots, go to her and tell her "Hey I like your boots and I think they would make a great birhday gift for a friend of mine, do you think I could buy them or maybe shoes are something personal that she needs to choose by herself?
bla bla

oh yea..and where did you buy them?

bla bla

Oh by the way I really like your style and you could be interesting, I'm older but i can recognize when a woman mature enough to hold interesting conversation..what do you say we go have some coffee together? Or you could help me buy the shoes :)"

you say "it's fucking hard to transition to a conversation from such an simple information exchange": yes it's hard but that's the difference between a PUA and a chode, because a PUA has the guts to just say "btw, why don't we grab a coffee someday?" and the other cant'.
Thanks, that makes sense to me and -eventhough so far i've mostly tried to go direct- I'm gonna focus more on the situational...

OK... Supposing my opener is "Excuse me, could you tell me where's the nearest Starbucks around here", I'll then transition with "You're really friendly by the way! Hey, have you got any suggestions for cool places to hang out?"

Any suggestions for a few routines/transitions I can stack up to ask the girl on an instant date?
Author:  Psychopath [ Sun Oct 30, 2011 3:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thanks for the suggestions guys....

The problem is however:
- I can't really say I'm new in town (I've been living here 15 years, and it'd be pretty much obvious to the girl as soon as she'd get to know me/my friends).
- It's really sneaky to open in Spanish when I speak fluent English (albeit with a slight accent). How long will I be able to carry out that deception?

The problem is not that I feel or have the mindset I am too old to approach: it is that,
- if I approach direct (I saw you walking past and wanted to tell you you were cute), I get a lot of negative reactions due to my age (I don't look bad at all but, let's face it, a 41 y/o looks nothing like a 25 y/o ; and the age gap seems to creep girls out only when I cold approach - they're usually ok with it later on in the convo, if I manage to take them that far)
- If I approach indirect with an opinion opener, same problem: why is this old creep asking me who lies more, girls or boys?

That leaves me with situational... which is fine when it's asking for directions... but it's fucking hard to transition to a conversation from such an simple information exchange...
No offense man but I don't even do that. I don't walk up to a random girl and tell her that she looks cute. You should just talk her up about bullshit first and then if she seems interested in you/what you have to say then you lay that shit on her. You should lay off the one liners if you are truly a good conversationalist. That works for people in the same age range but like you said @ your age trying to get a 20 y/o...it's creepy.

Someone your age should be able to just talk up a 20 year old - no problem. Oh...and you can impress her with your money and achievements. -_-
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