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| can't get my mind together https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=101435 |
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| Author: | courtstyle [ Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | can't get my mind together |
hi guys, i'm new here. I've been studying this for quite a while now. I get the theories but i can't apply it into real situations. Sometimes it goes quite well (mostly when i'm drunk) but today i just blanked. I went up to two girls. I made sure i was in the good mindset and i just went blank. I told myself i would sit with those girls for ten minutes at least. (it was a mondaynight). So i went up there, i just introduced myself, they introduced themselves and then nothing happened. I know i should have something creative, but i just. couldn't. I began interviewing the two of them. They felt i wasn't comfortable and it felt awkward. I sat there struggling for ten minutes. I made myself be there for ten minutes and it felt bad. I suppose this is the only good thing about the whole approach. I just really need some advice? |
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| Author: | Glade [ Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Here's a start. Learn an opener. If you want quick conversation to build confidence use an opinion opener. Google it, I'm sure there are thousands of examples available. Once you have mastered your opener, come back for more advice. Glade |
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| Author: | Slip n Slide [ Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think you're focusing too much on what's going to happen with these girls. In your brain, you're running through situations. You think that you're in a good mindset because they're positive situations, but this is imagined confidence. "Alright, I'm gonna go over there, sit down, be confident, and they're going to start to like me" (with mental images to accompany the thoughts). That's a bad attitude to have. As soon as you get hit with a curveball from them, you go blank. They don't know what you have imagined, so they don't know how to feed you the right lines. Instead, let your mind clear when you go up there. Just like in meditation, be intensely focused on your own body and all the feelings and emotions inside it. Not on the thoughts that cause the feelings, the feelings themselves. Use the attention you have left over to focus on your surroundings. Never think about what will happen in the future or what has happened in the past. Those are illusions and completely useless in pick up. Listen as intently as you can to what they say. When you want to speak, you'll feel the slightest glimmer of thought, but not the distracting cloudiness of future or past projection. Allow that glimmer to come out. This does not mean blurt out words. In fact, speak more slowly. Show the girls that you have considered what they said, considered your response, and can deliver it with confidence. Whatever you say, it will be insightful and worth saying, because you are focused in the reality of the now, and the things you say are the truth that you are actively observing. This post comes from my developing experience after reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I recommend that you read it and put it into practice. I found it on this forum just after I joined (I think 3ish months ago) and my game has gone from nonexistent to useful and flexible. |
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| Author: | courtstyle [ Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
thanks man. That's really useful. Thinking about being in a good state clouds up my mind then. It's weird because in normal conversations all is good, but then a girl comes along and i can't think anymore (or i begin thinking too much). I'll try the living in the now and not overthinking it. thanks |
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