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OKC opener advice.
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Author:  benlonghair [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  OKC opener advice.
So I have decided to do a bit of an experiment. This is a spin off of PanPan's opener that I stole from this forum. Basically either this girl is a "quiver" match or I make it sound like she is.

I put half a dozen of these out there yesterday and had one pretty solid response. I'm not worried about the response game, I can do that. I stumble from time to time, but whatever. I would like your opinions on how I can improve on this. So without further ado:

So you're a quiver match!

I'm excited, are you? Should I give you a minute? Here's a paper bag to breath into if you need it. I don't want to be responsible for head injuries due to passing out. I'm pretty sure the ER doesn't make for a good date. Although, I haven't tried that tack yet.

Hey! Maybe that could be our first date. We could find a cliff and jump off and, if we're lucky, we might even get a flight in a helicopter. How cool would that be?

Your friends would all be like "What did you do last night?" and you could say "Oh! I met this awesome guy and we took a ride in a helicopter then, after extensive medical SPAM, we had an great dinner by florescent-light in the cafeteria. I can't believe how awesome it was!" Oh, ya, you better believe they'd be jealous.

But we can't do any of this if we don't start a conversation. So here we go:

We're in a car, full tank of gas, ready to head out on a road trip. Where are we going and why?
Author:  daquix [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 4:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
I like it! Has a lot of humor in it, and gets straight to the point that you want a date and are not looking to just be friends.

I'll be interested to see what some of the experienced online sargers have to say about it.
Author:  benlonghair [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 4:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm also going to try this with completely random phrases as a subject. Found a random phrase generator. First of this experiment is titled with:

Wait. I'm not putting that here. Those two words are way too specific to be missed by google. Not gonna trust luck on that one.

Suffice to say it's http://watchout4snakes.com/CreativityTo ... hrase.aspx set to Obscure Adjective Obscure Noun.
Author:  daquix [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Where are you planning to lead the conversation once she responds?
Author:  benlonghair [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Where are you planning to lead the conversation once she responds?
Depends entirely on how she responds. For example, here's one of the conversations I've had so far (red is her, blue is me):

Considering I am really sick, this message was extremely entertaining since I am sitting here being quite bored. So thank you for taking time to actually make up something that would be interesting to read.

Anyway: I would be simple and go to every New England city I have (or have not) visited that fits my food preferences, style, and type of people I enjoy. I would just explore and meet strangers, make friends and binge on good food. Gah, that sounds fun right now..



Wow, that's some road trip. I'd advocate passing up Hartford. Not much for food culture in CT, except maybe down along the shoreline which is actually (although the atlas won't tell you this) an extension of RI. I would totally be down for going to Maine and eating myself sick on seafood. Although I suppose that's not something you're into. She mentioned she was vegan in her profile

By the way, as you can see I no longer have long hair, and i'm only pierced a couple times.

How are you living outside the norms this week? She had mentioned she loved doing things outside of the norms, she's kinda alt.



Yeah, screw Hartford. And I miss binging in Maine on lobsters. I am looking more for ethnic food, vegan places, and some unique things to try. I am a foodie I think perhaps.

Why does everyone cut their hair?! :-(

I am very boring this week. Sickness will do that to you. I need to do something interesting!



Hey! Don't hate on cutting hair. My cousin has was diagnosed with cancer three years ago and I cut it to donate to Wigs for Kids. Plus I was tired of looking like a hippie, even if I was one. Strangely enough, even though I hung out with hippies for years, I've never known a vegan.

How sick are you and how bored are you? Setting up to escalate.



Well that is a whole other story; so good for you. :-)

I am pretty damn sick, it hurts to breathe. I can hardly smoke a cigarette. It kills to eat and talk. I dry heaved this morning and I have a fever. I feel like crap..

I am also rather bored but I am just relaxing anyway. I don't have the energy to do anything.



I hear that. Just getting over a pretty wicked case of bronchitis myself. Almost convinced me to quite smoking.

What is your usual friday night look like if you're not sick?



I don't do much really on a schedule so it's usually just me hanging alone or with someone who isn't a douche haha. I like to have a few drinks with whoever is down to hang out. I have sooo much idle time recently. Makes me miss college almost. I would normally be doing homework or something related to school. Boring but takes up time!



I actually had my night out drinking with friends last night.

A hint for the wise: Jim Beam + Wednesday night = bad morning Thursday. haha, you'd think I'd know that already. I'm trying to figure something to do tonight that keeps me from being tempted to go out again. Was thinking about going mini golfing. Awesome nigh out, eh?

I miss school. Never thought I'd say that, but just for simple interaction with people it would be great to go back.



Yeah I truly miss the casual social interactions so damn much. I miss meeting strangers, and becoming friends. I bum around and feel so worthless and unproductive now. I was using my brain and now it's starting to rot, haha. I will go back, just unsure of where right now.

In the meantime.. need a hobby and a life!



Well, here's what we should do. I should get your phone number and we can chat some. Then we can bum around and be unproductive together. ;) Screw it, escalate.



I will give it when I can actually speak haha. I am losing my voice this week due to the sickness. Or just give me yours, I'll add you in mine. Should I or shouldn't I? Hoop? Screw it, let's find out.



I could do that. My cell doesn't work at home, so.

Home: xxx-xxx-xxxx
cell: xxx-xxx-xxxx

I really wish it were 4pm so I could go home. Work is boring today. Yes, I was "working" through this whole conversation.



Kay, I'll add that. Full name? Or name you wanna be under?



I want to be under "hottest guy I've ever met."

Barring that, I'm Ben. And you?



Haha, nice, my name is L____, call me L__ or L____ orrr L____! That really worked? Damn.



Named after a Roman empress. Nice.

Sounds kinda high maintenance, though, ;)



Hahaha, how so?



Well, the whole empress thing.

My first thought was the empress from History of the World Part One.

I have a slightly dirty mind.



Oh I see, hehe.



maybe I could have come up with a better example. I'll have to work on that.

Not that high maintenance is bad at all, anyway. If girls didn't act like princesses or empresses from time to time, what fun would that be?



I do sometimes, but rarely. More down to earth usually.



I love down to earth people. You're trying to seduce me, aren't you?

Well, I'll have none of it. ;)


That was yesterday afternoon that I sent the last one. Haven't heard back yet, but if she's sick, that's nothing to worry about.
Author:  daquix [ Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ben I used your opener 4 hours ago ... and I already got a number. Very nice work! I actually started a thread on it.

here-vp396503.html#396503
Author:  benlonghair [ Sat Oct 09, 2010 12:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Cool. Glad to help.

I just broke up with some chick who said nobody over 26 should contact her (what's a couple years?) using a "remember our first date" version of this story.

We'll see if that works.
Author:  krakow [ Sat Oct 09, 2010 11:04 pm ]
Post subject:  thanks Ben
@benlonghair

I really liked the way you scripted the conversation. Wished I could be that creative when conversing, being the fact that I work in the technical engineering field and surrounded by engineers and geeks, the conversation is dry, objective, and straight to the point...aka boring from a female perspective. I am just saying that if Mystery is right, we are what we do repeatedly so it does affect our mentality though some technical people can have a wicked sense of humor apart from their day to day job.
Author:  Mig [ Sat Oct 09, 2010 11:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: OKC opener advice.
Quote:
I put half a dozen of these out there yesterday and had one pretty solid response. I'm not worried about the response game, I can do that.
I think this is a really solid second message. I think it's far too long for an opener, and that might explain why you only got one response...only one girl was willing to read it all / focus and see how genius it is.

Shorten it up to the road trip section first. I have been using a road trip opener for years and I've always liked it. Another one I use is the "Online dating is weird...so...where will we tell everyone we met?" Then I give a few examples like "diving in Australia, painting outside the Louvre..." throw in something this girl would obviously love to do. Anything that gets her thinking and makes it so you two are already having fun in her head.

Great stuff though Benlonghair!
Author:  benlonghair [ Sat Oct 09, 2010 11:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, I'm a salesman, so I know a little about BS. I also know when to stop BSing.

I just had some chick respond to this "How about u find a cliff and jump alone." Meh, whatever, I told her "With that attitude it's no wonder you're single." Either she bites or... who cares? If she doesn't find the bizarre funny, I'm really not interested.

Had another one go off on this long roleplay with the road trip question. I went along with it, but not fully. She was driving. WTH kind of crap is that? You better not have fried the clutch, because, honey, if we're going on a road trip, you better believe your sweet ass we're taking my convertible.

I'm still only 3 for 23. I guess I need to work on my profile, but I have no idea where to go with it.

Sure would like some feedback from those who know what they're doing.
Quote:
I think this is a really solid second message. I think it's far too long for an opener, and that might explain why you only got one response...only one girl was willing to read it all / focus and see how genius it is.
Thanks for the compliment. I needed that this week. (Nothing to do with PUA, everything to do with idiot neighbors.)

I'll give that a shot. I kinda like the "what will we tell people" angle. I like going over the top, though, so painting or diving, but maybe sunk her boat by hitting it with the jetski I was on or at a finger painting competition.

My biggest issue right now is running out of reasonably attractive test subjects. Stupid living in the middle of nowhere.
Author:  Mig [ Sun Oct 10, 2010 4:59 am ]
Post subject: 
I would suggest you make a profile in a big city and try gaming the girls there before you spoil them all in your own town. When the question comes up...say you made the profile cause you want to visit LA, Dallas, NY whatever city you choose, and wanted to know some people when you got there. Get to the point of a # close then tell them you're not living there now.
Author:  benlonghair [ Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I would suggest you make a profile in a big city and try gaming the girls there before you spoil them all in your own town. When the question comes up...say you made the profile cause you want to visit LA, Dallas, NY whatever city you choose, and wanted to know some people when you got there. Get to the point of a # close then tell them you're not living there now.
Good call. Too bad I didn't have that suggestion when I started putting lots of messages out there. Meh, whatever.

If anybody wants to give more advice, the chick that I was talking to above finally returned my last message. This is how it has gone:

Sorry late reply, was wicked sick.

;-P



So can I assume you're feeling better?

Want to get together this week and see if we do, in fact, click?



Eh, feeling okay, but not totally better at all. Rough week.

You know I am just looking for friends right? And I would like to get together with people on here, just preferably when I am not disease ridden. >_<


How to respond. She didn't say this at all in her profile. Lots of talk of cuddling and sexuality, saying she was interested in friendships with women. I'm going to let it chill for a few hours minimum.
Author:  benlonghair [ Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Back to the top with how I'm going to handle this. Can't see a down side.

"Since relationships of all kinds start with honesty, I am here looking for more than friends. It's a dating site, after all. I'm looking for to get laid and maybe find a LTR."

Thoughts?
Author:  Mig [ Mon Oct 11, 2010 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

Never throw out "I'm looking to get laid" until she's definitely ready to be the one doing it...even then...probably not. I would go with something like, "I've got a lot of great friends but I don't mind meeting up; if you're worth it then it could be fun. Let's grab coffee and see how we get along first, and then if nothing else maybe I'll just adopt you as my little sister and we can climb trees together and drink kool-aid all afternoon." *thank you Keys to the VIP - Cajun*

She's trying to push you away a bit...reframe it so you're in control, make it funny and make it easy for her to agree to meet up. A girl that is single and looking for friends...is a perfect FWB or LTR girl...it actually just puts less pressure on the two of you, cause you can pretend you're not hitting on her...and just kino like crazy in "friend" ways - while still turning her on.
Author:  benlonghair [ Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:35 am ]
Post subject: 
We'll see. I may have shot myself in the foot. The actual reply was:
Quote:
Honesty is the best policy, don't you think?

So I've got to tell you that I am actually here trying to get laid and maybe find a LTR.

I harbor no expectations and make no excuses for who I am or what I want. That's who I am.
Didn't slow her messages down, we've gone back and forth about half a dozen times since that. I don't see it being a problem. Worst thing that can happen is I learn a lesson.

My feeling is she wants to get laid just as much as I do, her ASD is up, though. I've been reading Johnny Soprano recently, and I think that I can disarm her enough to make it work. I'm not so sure the indirect approach is the right one here.

This is all a learning experience, and learning requires f*cking up.
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