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| self esteem https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=60451 |
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| Author: | rAlexfc [ Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | self esteem |
i was trying to game this chick on a website called localhookupz, i sent her a message saying " you would look good having an orgasm", and she replied " you would look good with a different face".. it pretty much made me feel like shit and triggered all the times people have hated on my looks in the past.. it's really fucking up my inner game i don't feel like any woman would want me.. wtf should i do |
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| Author: | dietryin5 [ Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
First off do not let this bother you. Do you make attempts at keeping yourself clean and groom properly? That is the key really for me I believe I look somewhat average in the looks department maybe slightly above but the mindset I have is just confidence. If you act like you are ugly or that it bothers you then it will show and women will be able to easy see through to this. Sort of like being short if you comment on how short you are when a tall girl brings this up it's most likely you lost already. Anyhow I would just send a massage back saying something like: Good for you now deal with it! Do you normally bust out 1st grader lines? I can tell you are trouble from the get go. Not saying it will work but at least it shows you don't care what you look like. |
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| Author: | skypirate1965 [ Thu Jan 21, 2010 3:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: self esteem |
Quote: i was trying to game this chick on a website called localhookupz, i sent her a message saying " you would look good having an orgasm", and she replied " you would look good with a different face".. it pretty much made me feel like shit and triggered all the times people have hated on my looks in the past.. it's really fucking up my inner game i don't feel like any woman would want me.. wtf should i do
Ok the stuff about feeling ugly. Look some girls ARE mainly interested in looks and in some ways more fussy than men. You cannot change that.Usually when girls get older they are more forgiving on looks - there are the odd delusioned types out there though. Accept that some girls will not find you physically attractive , however some WILL. I grew up in my teens fat, feeling ugly (bad spots/acne), wore glasses and shy too! It's only in the last year or so that I've realised that looks matter MORE to men than girls.Some practical tips. make sure you're clean and presentable. There is a short section on looks and grooming in The Rules Of The Game. If you're overweight make steps to get lean, if you're skinny start to bulk up a bit, if you wear glasses wear contacts or get laser SPAM, if you have bad teeth, get them sorted, if you have bad skin get some SPAM. There are lots of little things that can be done to boost your appearance. Making those steps will boost you confidence too. That's really outer game stuff. Inner Game on this basically boils down to - start to love yourself. There may be things that are not easy to change so you'll have to learn to accept those. I think there is a good product by Hypnotica - outside of the PUA community I recommend stuff from Paul McKenna (regarding overall confidence) and Stuart Wilde (ignore the truly out-there stuff and there's some very good stuff covering energy etc). One technique is to stand naked in front of a full length mirror and say to yourself - "I love my hair, I love my head, I love my eyes etc" working your way down the body. Even if you find it hard to believe doing this regularly it will eventually start to override your 'self programming'. Another aspect is to count your blessings. Assuming no disabilities take a look at yourself and find parts of you that are good or not bad. If someone has complimented you on some physical aspect always keep that memory. For me I've been told I have nice hands, have good eyes and a cute smile. Related to inner game - expect some setbacks. I thought I was quite confident regarding my looks too. I recently mailled a girl and she basically replied that she was looking for a "tall, skinny, dark haired, handsome and intelligent guy". I'm intelligent but the rest did shake me up a bit. Just remind yourself that this is just 1 girl's opinion and what makes her opinion better than yours? I don't really need to tell you as i suspect you've worked it out for yourself. Your opener was FAR too strong. This is online game and humour is very hard to pull off succesfully. |
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| Author: | skypirate1965 [ Thu Jan 21, 2010 3:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ooops I forgot one little tip for rAlexfc. When your confidence is higher submit some photos to Hot or Not. I did it and thought I'd get rated at about 8 at most but I got an average of 9.4!! A nice boost for my self esteem |
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| Author: | rAlexfc [ Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
hey guys i just wanted to say thanks for replies.. i really appreciate it. and i definitely feel like we are on the same wavelength. i'm also going to try the techniques you shared with me, i'm so glad i found the community, it just feels good how we help each other. |
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| Author: | skypirate1965 [ Fri Jan 22, 2010 3:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: ...i'm so glad i found the community, it just feels good how we help each other.
Agreed. However I am amazed at how much bullshit is on forums. The most irritating thing is that people are offered advice and rarely bother to provide an update.I would also recommend checking out Carlos Xuma's stuff (I think he is THE best in terms of scope, quantity, and practicality in the PUA world) and David Wygant (he has good stuff - but I just cannot like him for some strange reason) Seriously I think Inner Game issues are better handled with products outside of the PUA world. Funnily enough the 'new age' sort of stuff is now being adopted as PUA Inner Game techniques - meditation, hypnotism, NLP (basically affirmations in new age lingo) and some visualisation technique (which is an old idea of treasure mapping in new age sense. Check this link http://www.innerself.com/Meditation/treasure_11142.htm) If you're more practical minded I recommend Phil McGraw (ironically he hates new age stuff - but I think you can be practical and err...out-there) Anyway here's link to some basic stuff http://www.thehappyguy.com/dr-phil-mcgraw.html Tony Robbins stuff is good but I think he writes too much . I do recommend reading and applying Giant Steps 365 Daily lessons in Self mastery, as it's very easy to read and absorb. rAlexfc, one thing to remember is that bad feelings pass, just store the good feelings when they come. |
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