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PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 10:41 am 
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i was thinking
:idea: i can't say stuff in music over the internet and have the same effect, i'm wondering what effect's are good for the internet :idea:
you said direct with restraint. this is good advice, thanks.
but is there anyway to get better effect's with communication over the internet

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PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2015 3:38 pm 
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Alright, I haven't had much success since re-joining the online dating community.

I'm gonna try 10 of these direct approaches on POF and then on OKCupid. If they don't work, then I'm just going to invest on better pictures of myself.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2016 12:12 am 
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I've sent these direct messages a lot. They do work, but for me I'd say I would get a date 1 out of every 40. If that one date was a few days off and I didn't maintain interest, odds of flaking due were very high. It's good for meeting girls that are very interested in me, but I was pushing away others that need a little warm up. I just did a huge round of 200 copy/paste messages like this. Out of about 4 I made plans with, only 1 showed up.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2016 2:46 am 
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Quote:
Alright, I haven't had much success since re-joining the online dating community.

I'm gonna try 10 of these direct approaches on POF and then on OKCupid. If they don't work, then I'm just going to invest on better pictures of myself.
looks take priority over the messages you send.

i'd get the better pics, then almost anything you say might have better results

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PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2017 12:35 am 
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Not long been setting up dates since my early 20s. Now out of a relationship

Messaged a HB8 and after a few days looking at my profile on and off she messages back. When I sent the original message, I gave her a compliment and left it there.

So far have exchanged 12 messages, good rapport, she's shown interest so suggested a date on Sunday and gave her my number and left it there.

If I don't get a text, will talk to her a little more, if not I will next her. If I do get a text or a call, then it's a bonus.

I agree with the OP, important not to invest too much time chasing


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PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2017 4:05 pm 
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Quote:
Not long been setting up dates since my early 20s. Now out of a relationship

Messaged a HB8 and after a few days looking at my profile on and off she messages back. When I sent the original message, I gave her a compliment and left it there.

So far have exchanged 12 messages, good rapport, she's shown interest so suggested a date on Sunday and gave her my number and left it there.

If I don't get a text, will talk to her a little more, if not I will next her. If I do get a text or a call, then it's a bonus.

I agree with the OP, important not to invest too much time chasing
Update: She got back to me, date arranged, game on.

Direct approach works


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PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2017 2:55 am 
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thanks for this thread, it helped a lot in just being direct and cutting the bs i used to use.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 6:44 pm 
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The guy who originated this thread has pretty good online game, no doubt about it. But I'm willing to bet that he's also a pretty good looking guy. I've gotten laid on most of my first time online dates, and I'm a short, indian guy, in average shape. I'm going to paste my texting rules for online dating here, but you can also view them on my website - http://www.onlinedatingpua.com/messaging . I've also got real sample text threads on there, that led to sex.

#1

Match her level of investment. Investment can be gauged by the amount of text she writes, and the length of time taken before she writes back to you. If she’s writing one word answers back to you, or taking hours between replies, then clearly she’s not that invested at the present moment. In these situations take a similar amount of time writing back, and/or reply back with a message of about the same length. If she’s like this from the get go and there’s no change, then there’s not much hope in things going anywhere. If results vary, and she’s blowing kind of hot then cold, then it’s probably real life getting in the way, and things are salvageable. The key is to escalate during those periods of good and quick replies, and push to make future plans, or for a phone call.

#2

Text conversations, like real conversations should have a flow, with a combination of questions and comments. Asking her questions makes her invest in you, which is a good thing. However asking question after question results in you sucking all her energy and time, which will begin to turn her off, and cause her to subconsciously change her levels of investment. It’s really a skill that comes with practice. In general if you are a good conversationalist in person, then you can be a good one in texting. Both are skills that can be learned or improved upon.

#3

Reward her investment. If she replies with a paragraph, or is asking you questions, if you consistently write one word answers, or take hours/days to reply when she’s getting back to you in minutes, you are in essence punishing her for liking you. This is not good, and will cause her to develop negative feelings for you, and she’ll look for happiness elsewhere.

#4

In text game, as on a date, it is generally the man’s job to escalate, and she is waiting for you to do so. Hesitating too long to do this will cause the conversation to run dry, and will sub-communicate a lack of confidence and indecisiveness on your part. She will lose interest. Escalation in online game, as mentioned at the end of #1 is making your intent to meet up known, and/or pushing for a phone call. Talking on the phone is a go to move of mine with online dating. It separates you from the other guys that are messaging her on this app. It takes it to the next level, so you can have a real conversation, communicate better, and hear each other’s voices, finally creating a level of intimacy.

#5

This is really for the phone call mentioned in the last tip. A proper intro phone call should last at least 20 min, ideally 45 min to an hour. If you can’t talk for that long, then I’d recommend another phone conversation before actually meeting up. But test the temperature, if she just wants to meet up then go for it. The conversation should be light hearted banter, and just getting to know each other. It’s better to avoid more emotional topics, and save them for a face to face. After you’ve talked for at least 20 min, bring up meeting for a date. She’ll be down for it. Settle on a day. Be flexible and aware that this can change due to your respective schedules. For first time dates I’ve learned to keep things simple, and I’ll usually just suggest coffee or a drink, and figure out logistics. Ideally you want to meet up within a 20 min drive or walk of either your house or hers.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 11, 2019 2:43 pm 
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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2019 9:29 pm 
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