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Critique my dating profile!
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=128647
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Author:  Beetle [ Mon Feb 13, 2012 11:45 am ]
Post subject:  Critique my dating profile!

This is my profile on one of the Hungarian dating sites. It's for youngsters, mostly. Not too many geeky girls, sadly, but whatever, it's something I wanna try. It has separate sections about your tastes, sexual preferences, etc, so I didn't include most of this in my "Introduction" which is the main part of your profile where you can write about yourself whatever you want. So, here it is, rate it. I wrote it with some PUA guides in mind, but I have a feeling that it sucks ass.

My username in English means male/stud penguin, I think it's funny because penguins aren't very studly creatures.

There is a "motto" section. I put up a funny oneliner there, a joke version of the "Don't look the gift horse in the mouth", which is turned into "Don't look at the oars of a gift boat" by a pun. It works in Hungarian, I swear :D Any better suggestions?

My introduction, translated to English:
Quote:
This is the profile of Beetle, leave a message after the beep!
I'm looking for girls with humor, brains and confidence. (It's even better if she's using them all regularly!)

If your pep is like of a tailless goldfish, it's not gonna work.
I'm only awaiting the messages of cheerful, direct girls, with plenty of impishness [in Hungarian, it's a slang for sexual playfulness] in them ;)

Yeah, I'm picky, but why not? Like many others, I deserve a cool mate!

Beep...
Tell me what you think, critique the shit out of this profile. Thanks!

Author:  Beetle [ Wed Feb 15, 2012 12:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

Any opinions?

Gee, there must be something really wrong with my online charisma when I can't even get somebody online to critique my online charisma :D

Author:  jpow1981 [ Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

Its a good start, but there's a number of serious issues. If you want to get good at this, it will require work.

You need more. More qualifying yourself, more qualifying the girls, more giving the girl an idea of your lifestyle and where she fits in. You also need more specific interests that a woman can latch onto.

I suggest you take a look at my post here for more ideas.



jpows-holistic-online-dating-guide-feed ... 28120.html


Best,

JPow

Author:  Beetle [ Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

I just started reading it before taking a break just a little while ago. All right, I'll read it through now!

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