Here is something that i doubt ya'll run into very often. i currently work in retail and my job is to provide excellent customer service, so i can walk up to anybody and talk to them and even carry on a conversation with them. but the problem lies outside of work. i dont really know how to get over the shyness or anxiety outside of work like in a bar or night club.

Thats why your here Silver is it not? All the info/advice and stuff on these forums will give you the tools and understanding you need to realise that your not anxious. Whatever you believe your physical self manifests, its very much mind over matter brother.

If you think "Oh my god....there she is...." when she says
"Hi" your just gonna go Pfffft and kack your pants.....and dude....thats not cool.

Be confident, your better than everyone in the room. Your the Alpha male. Why? Not cause your gorgeous or cause you have a fat wallet. You will look at other dudes and go "Fuck, wish i were like him" your not. Your better, cause next time your gonna be unique. Your gonna have charm, and with a good opener and a few routines, mate, She is gonna wanna talk with you believe me!

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http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=Divinity79

Think about this...and if your can't give me a reasonable answer back, you will know that your shyness and fear is pointless, limiting, and irrational.

Whats the difference between approaching and conversing with people at your workplace compared to approaching and conversing with people outside of your workplace.

*HINT* Answer = NOTHING

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Amor est Vitae Essentia

I used to be just like you... I'm still improving in fact. I could go up to almost any stranger and initiate an interesting conversation, but if it happened to be a woman I was attracted to some switch would flip inside of me and I'd just freeze up. I couldn't think of anything to say, or I'd say something stupid.

Echoing Methuselah's advice (that there is really no difference between conversing with an attractive woman and just some average joe) I would recommend boosting your confidence by just going up and initiating conversations to attractive woman, just as you would to people at work... at first, you don't necessarily have to pressure yourself to game them... don't worry about picking them up, just have a normal conversation, and when it starts to die down excuse yourself and go try it on somebody else. I think if you take the pressure off by doing this you will be more confident when you start getting your game on again. Good luck!

this sounds like good advice.

There's also a video i saw recently, which i'm sure a lot of you have seen too, of a show in england that aired. I believe it was Juggler who was one of the PUAs training some new recruits.

Anyways, one of the ways he helped out those guys to get over their shyness was to take them to a place where they would have NO sexual interest in anybody in the room, and get them to just go say hi. They took them to a BINGO PARLOR!

Lo and behold, they made approach after approach, since they had switched off the 'gaming' part of their brain and were just simply talking with strangers and enjoying their company.

So don't be afraid to approach someone you're NOT attracted to... it may help you in the long run.

He's gettin' paid haha...

No but really... I've worked retail myself, I understand where you come from and the simple reason why you can approach these people at work. It's because you have no expectations when you go to approach the potential customer, you have it in mind that helping them is your main goal, everything else takes second place. I mean breaking it down to the simple basics, your objective is to see if they need help, so you ask them. Once you've found out what they want you find it, convince them why they should choose the over-rated model, compared to the basic, then close the sale. Cha-ching, job well done.

Now when it comes to approaching women, there's this instantaneous stigma that occurs, where you think so far into the future it hampers your ability to function in a social manner. It's a subconscious response that you wanna mate with her, and women can see (or smell) that from a mile away. So when approaching women in the field I have it mind that all I want to find out is the target's name, why she came to the club/restaurant, who she's with, and if she's single. I have these self imposed goals when approaching just to make the approach a lil more structured. It's like the routines used after the approach, to help you seduce the target.

Long story short... it's all inner game, and trial and error, and having fun with it all, even though it's short term disappointment (even if you crash & burn), it's a great story to tell in the future, that you will be able to laugh at.

""When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." -Lao Tzu"

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Experience is the teacher of all things - Julius Caesar