PUA Forum :: Fear of being judged

I've been paying close attention to my thoughts and believe i've tracked down one of my biggest barriers to success, that is the thought of what others might think of me, my own perception of myself and where I want to be. When these thoughts accumulate I add tremendous amount of pressure on myself which creates anxiety > unrealistic expectation (then failure) > stress > lower self esteem > then the cycle continues.

The fear of being judged doesn't just impact my social anxiety with women, but also other areas of my life like sport i.e. I play football with a friend and all his friends once a week, it's competitive but not to be taken seriously, but still I get so much anxiety before the game that I think it's starting to affect my health and wellbeing. I'm starting to really dislike the game even though I know I shouldn't take it seriously (or personally), I know I shouldn't be outcome focused and instead play for me only, I just find it very difficult to do these things as I have so much ambition to achieve so much in my lifetime and fulfill my ideal self (I know this is really bad).

I'm still gaming, but it feels like this judgment mindset has frozen my progress to move further. I've started to researching into hypnotherapy, but also if anyone here can relate, has managed to break through this barrier and has any techniques please let me know!

Author:	plato92 [ Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:29 am ]
Post subject:	Fear of being judged
I've been paying close attention to my thoughts and believe i've tracked down one of my biggest barriers to success, that is the thought of what others might think of me, my own perception of myself and where I want to be. When these thoughts accumulate I add tremendous amount of pressure on myself which creates anxiety > unrealistic expectation (then failure) > stress > lower self esteem > then the cycle continues. The fear of being judged doesn't just impact my social anxiety with women, but also other areas of my life like sport i.e. I play football with a friend and all his friends once a week, it's competitive but not to be taken seriously, but still I get so much anxiety before the game that I think it's starting to affect my health and wellbeing. I'm starting to really dislike the game even though I know I shouldn't take it seriously (or personally), I know I shouldn't be outcome focused and instead play for me only, I just find it very difficult to do these things as I have so much ambition to achieve so much in my lifetime and fulfill my ideal self (I know this is really bad). I'm still gaming, but it feels like this judgment mindset has frozen my progress to move further. I've started to researching into hypnotherapy, but also if anyone here can relate, has managed to break through this barrier and has any techniques please let me know!

Author:	KLisica [ Wed Nov 01, 2017 7:31 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear of being judged
Not sure if I'm allowed to post this here but, try to read the book "rules of the game" by Neill Straus. I started with those challenges in that book and so far it is going amazing. I am feeling more alfa nad generally better about myself

Author:	GFRESH2DEF [ Thu Nov 02, 2017 1:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear of being judged
Quote: I'm still gaming, but it feels like this judgment mindset has frozen my progress to move further. I've started to researching into hypnotherapy, but also if anyone here can relate, has managed to break through this barrier and has any techniques please let me know! I struggled through this same thing too plato92, and i still occasionally do at times. But i have so many reference experiences of getting myself out of that negative self-judgemental head space. So i have a process that i immediately get myself into while i'm out gaming, whenever this happens to me. There's nothing wrong with you or me, it's just the way that we both have conditioned ourselves throughout the years, because of the negative thought patterns that we both have adopted over the years. So with that being said..you need to reframe what you think that on-lookers are thinking and doing when they see you approaching women. This is how you do it..Start training your mind to think that those on-lookers who you think are judging you, are rooting for you to get that girl's phone number or the insta-date. And if you do get her number or the insta-date, they will be inspired to do the same exact thing that they just saw you do. And in return, you will be having a positive affect on their lives. Over time..you will learn to turn that fear that you feel, into excitement. Keep brainwashing yourself with this new positive mindset, until you just believe it, and it becomes the new way that you think. Think of this new positive mindset everytime you approach a girl whenever the negative mindset that people are judging you comes up. This mental shift will take time and alot of practice before it is eventually internalized into your psyche, but i can assure you that it will work. It worked for me, and still does. Just give it as much time as it takes for you to adopt this new positive mindset. And you will slowly notice a positive shift in how you approach girls, and even more positive results in girls' reactions to you, whenever you approach them with this new positive mindset. And by the way..the new positive mindset that i mention in the above paragraph, is basically a self-hypnosis technique that you can practice doing this everyday whenever you want on your own free time. And it costs you zero dollars to do this (it doesn't cost you a single penny). You don't have to pay any psychologist or doctor to do this for you. You can do this by yourself. -G

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Thu Nov 02, 2017 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear of being judged
Quote: I've been paying close attention to my thoughts and believe i've tracked down one of my biggest barriers to success, that is the thought of what others might think of me, my own perception of myself and where I want to be. When these thoughts accumulate I add tremendous amount of pressure on myself which creates anxiety > unrealistic expectation (then failure) > stress > lower self esteem > then the cycle continues. The fear of being judged doesn't just impact my social anxiety with women, but also other areas of my life like sport i.e. I play football with a friend and all his friends once a week, it's competitive but not to be taken seriously, but still I get so much anxiety before the game that I think it's starting to affect my health and wellbeing. I'm starting to really dislike the game even though I know I shouldn't take it seriously (or personally), I know I shouldn't be outcome focused and instead play for me only, I just find it very difficult to do these things as I have so much ambition to achieve so much in my lifetime and fulfill my ideal self (I know this is really bad). I'm still gaming, but it feels like this judgment mindset has frozen my progress to move further. I've started to researching into hypnotherapy, but also if anyone here can relate, has managed to break through this barrier and has any techniques please let me know! No FAP for 90 Days and this problem will fix itself. It may seem like a simple fix, and in essence it is, but it takes sacrifice and discipline. Every guy i've ever personally known with severe anxiety issues have been chronic masturbators. I.e. more than 1 time a week. Just give it a try. NOthing else has worked, so try something new.

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