What's your biggest hurdle when you try to connect with ppl?



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Inner Game » Social Shyness & Anxiety




Author Message
PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2016 6:26 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2016 6:07 pm
Posts: 1
I've always had difficulty when I tried to go from introduction to small talk and would either A) cause whoever I'm talking to to lose interest or B) cause a lot of awkward silences. I was curious if anyone else felt the same or, if not, what was most preventing you from getting better socially.

Also, I was wondering: are there any good online courses any of you have experience with (for social skills)? I haven't seen any, but I'd pay for one if I knew it was helpful.

Thanks in advance!


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 4:16 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sat Nov 28, 2015 9:40 pm
Posts: 47
Oh hell yeah. I'm insanely terrible with social interaction. The part that kept me from getting better at all was feeling like I'm bothering people if I interact with them. Maybe it's just in my case, but what I did to improve, and what I constantly do, is trade up.

I'm not even talking about women at all here, partly because I have no idea what to do with them, but people in general. Find people in organizations you take part in that you get along with, AND... the big and... that have some sort of thing to teach you. Particularly in social matters. And then when your passions take you elsewhere, get out and trade up for a better place. Meet someone else you get along with. Learn from them. Keep doing that until you die from old age, then stop. What really matters is that you keep meeting new people that add to your understanding of what you want to master, and that you form enough of a relationship with them to exchange knowledge. There are FAR too many dimwitted assholes who want to do nothing but drink beer, be comfortable, and talk about how things were simpler back in the day they decided to stop living and start congealing in their nostalgia. I don't know about you, but I like having control. And as long as someone else knows how to do something, and you don't, you don't have control, they do. The only answer I can see is to keep learning, forever. Keep finding people to exchange knowledge with on a constant basis, and move on when it's the right time. Doesn't take but a minute or two on facebook or text to keep up with them from time to time, but it's better to consistently be in contact with new people, as there's only so much we can say to another human being before it's all said.

No idea with online courses, other than the books they recommend here. If you like something, go out and do it, and start meeting people. I started with Magic the Gathering. Went to my local shop every weekend to play and socialize. Learned a minor amount from certain people. Then I stopped going when I realized my time trying to improve my social skills at their current level, with a room mostly full of anti-social knobs, was better spent elsewhere. Gotta climb the ladder of knowledge.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 7:13 am 
Offline
English Muffin
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:40 pm
Posts: 5689
Pahaha socialising with magic the gathering players bahaah

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 2:19 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sat Nov 28, 2015 9:40 pm
Posts: 47
Quote:
Pahaha socialising with magic the gathering players bahaah
It speaks to how shitty my social skills were at one point. And how they continue to be shitty, but to a lesser degree. The more people I meet and have to deal with, the more people I find I can get along with to some degree and then learn from. And there are obviously those who are really good at socializing, yet I can't learn from them simply because I haven't put in the ground work to build up to their level and they don't see me as an equal in that respect in order to truly get along with. It's like there can be no exchange if the value of what you have to offer is perceived as lesser, and social skills are basically the only indicator giving someone's speech true value, provided the content is solid. I know the way I see the general magic playing community as being horrible at social interaction are the way some people look at me, and the only answer is to learn where I can, from who I can, and eventually move on to the next highest value I can afford.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link