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Solutions in unexpected places.
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=193227		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Temur/Jeskai [ Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Solutions in unexpected places.
So I have had an anxiety disorder for over seven years, but I have made great strides in recent weeks. I decided that this is the time for me to strike off on my own, my anxiety be damned. A lot of my inspiration came from long ago, like maybe five months or so. I just new it was time to move on. I have attempted to act like the gurus say and really bring the confidence. Also, I have been smoking marijuana almost every day for over a month. Not sure what it is but the stuff calms me down and opens up my brain. I still twitch and sometimes get diverted from my intended action, by the anxiety, but overall, I am surprised at its effectiveness. I made it to third base with a girl I met on POF, and I have decided to go from renting cars to selling them. I am going to put a down payment on a condo, than sell it in 2-3 years and finance my second attempt at undergraduate school with the profits. The bank will give me back what I paid in principle as well, which could be a bunch considering how low interest rates are. They will not stay that way for long. Anyway, I had a very hot-and-heavy messaging exchange over POF in the early hours of this morning, at the end of which I left my cell number, and I now await her response. Unfortunately, she is camping until next friday, but the point is I took an online interaction to its furthest point, cyber sex. It felt damn good.

I will leave you with this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4PE2hSqVnk
Author:  WillEdward [ Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Solutions in unexpected places.
Great job making progress on getting your anxiety handled. Weed can definitely help with that. Even though this saying has been said countless of times, it really helps if you can be present in the moment. Find whatever method that can help you do that and you are golden. Some ways are focusing on your breath and meditating. Doing countless approaches where you are willing to humiliate yourself and experiment helps tremendously. You will definitely feel approach anxiety at first, but after a while you will start to feel indifferent and that's when things really start to kick off. I would try to steer away from online dating for now and focus on cold approach. It's very easy to use online dating as a crutch for not going out and socializing so you will become desensitized to uncomfortable and anxious situations. Eventually, you will start to enjoy the interactions and the process. You will start to feel anxious if you DON'T approach and that's when you hit another level that will just snowball and help you do things you can't even imagine yet.
Author:  FeaganMox [ Mon Oct 19, 2015 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Solutions in unexpected places.
Yeah don't get to used to online stuff

But I'm pretty anxious to and the best thing to do is embrace us. It's what makes you, you. So far since I've embraced it I haven't been rejected and I've actually been the one to reject.

Just keep it up. Get out there and start talking to girls and save online dating for when you get bored.
Author:  ex-pua-bruno [ Tue Apr 05, 2016 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Solutions in unexpected places.
Quote:
So I have had an anxiety disorder for over seven years, but I have made great strides in recent weeks. I decided that this is the time for me to strike off on my own, my anxiety be damned. A lot of my inspiration came from long ago, like maybe five months or so. I just new it was time to move on. I have attempted to act like the gurus say and really bring the confidence. Also, I have been smoking marijuana almost every day for over a month. Not sure what it is but the stuff calms me down and opens up my brain. I still twitch and sometimes get diverted from my intended action, by the anxiety, but overall, I am surprised at its effectiveness. I made it to third base with a girl I met on POF, and I have decided to go from renting cars to selling them. I am going to put a down payment on a condo, than sell it in 2-3 years and finance my second attempt at undergraduate school with the profits. The bank will give me back what I paid in principle as well, which could be a bunch considering how low interest rates are. They will not stay that way for long. Anyway, I had a very hot-and-heavy messaging exchange over POF in the early hours of this morning, at the end of which I left my cell number, and I now await her response. Unfortunately, she is camping until next friday, but the point is I took an online interaction to its furthest point, cyber sex. It felt damn good.

I will leave you with this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4PE2hSqVnk
Hey Sly!

I really like your inspiration to think big in direction of both overcoming your anxiety disorder and
also achieving your financial goals that would support your dream lifestyle, because I have a pretty
similar strategy especially when it comes to fulfilling my true passions in life.

Speaking of your anxiety disorder issue in relation to your adventures with women, if I were you,
I would think twice, because I was going through my own mental disorders for years and could
certainly relate to you there, apart from smoking marijuana that I've never tried.

Look, I don't intend to patronize you in any way but I'd really like you to take what I'm going
to share with you as something that I'd also share with my best friend when trying to help him
out.

While being neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist but just a guy like you who got carried away
with and wanted to pursue a kind of dream international playboy lifestyle around picking up and
having sex with the most attractive women in beachfront villas and condos worldwide until two
years ago, I was almost scared to death of the truth on how badly my own anxiety issue could
hit me and affect my overall mental health so that I'm now very inspired and motivated to help
open the eyes of the guys who ended up in a very similar situation.

Here's the intro to my story that will hopefully enlighten you to the realization that not only
should you take your anxiety disorder seriously and think twice on that but also that you
should think twice about the fatal consequences of leading the kind of lifestyle that's all
about seducing and sleeping with countless women.

A good way for me to inspire you to think twice about that lifestyle is to share with you
one of my favorite Bruce Lee's quotes that says:

"We do not become, we simply are."

Chances are that what initially pushed you into chasing your goal of becoming a pickup
artist and at the same time getting stuck in your anxiety disorder are essentially two
things:

a) trying very hard to become somebody who you are not while desperately trying to
adopt and live by the model of behavior that doesn't really suit your true personality, and

b) getting seduced into believing that picking up an endless number of women just to have
sex with them is really something that you could call part of your true happiness or passion,
while in fact, this very activity is nothing but part of a pure obsession that you don't truly
enjoy and that in the first place you've subconsciously got forced to believe that you should
enjoy no matter what, because somebody taught you that this is the way of how you become
that ideal alpha man.

What I'm trying to point out to you here is that like many other guys including myself who ended up
in the pickup arts community mainly because our self esteem got badly hurt sometime during our early
age and all we're now trying to do is just lift it up or fix it through gaining a kind of sexual gratification
based on sleeping with as many women as possible in our lifetime, you seem to be stuck in exactly
the same kind of situation.

Before I go on telling you a little bit of my story that perfectly relates to your situation, let me ask
you a simple question.

Have you ever asked yourself that important "Do I really enjoy it?" question when
trying to attract and pick up women?

Asking myself this question was a huge light bulb moment in my life, because it helped me realize
that everything I was doing in the area of attracting and picking up women for years was purely
the result of just acting under the pressure - the unnecessary pressure of constantly forcing myself
into doing what I didn't really love and enjoy at all.

What made me keep forcing myself to boldly approach random women just to pick them up as my
sexual objects was my initial belief that doing it was part of my true passion.

Guess what. I was wrong.

All my sexual advances that I was constantly forcing myself into was a pure obsession that
I now like to call my false passion.

My pickup and sex obsession started mostly as the outcome of dating related peer pressure
from my childhood.

I got stuck in this obsession for two reasons:

a) I initially didn't fit in the social circles of my peers because I didn't really like most of
their behaviors, and

b) my inner resistance toward the peer pressure grew so much that I gradually got myself
into thinking of creating my own international playboy lifestyle surrounded by the most
beautiful women that I'd have lots of fun and sex with for the rest of my life.

As a result, my pickup and sex obsession got me stuck in a long-term sexual addiction with
the symptoms of the two most common men's mental disorders known as borderline pesonality
disorder and narcissistic personality disorder.

Now here's an important thing that I'd really like you to understand.

The reason I've earlier told you that you're doing absolutely fine in your specific situation is because
I'd like you to really understand that the approach anxiety that you feel is nothing bad at all.

Furthermore, your approach anxiety is like your guardian angel protecting you from getting stuck
in the kind of obsession I told you about a minute ago. It's there to protect you from getting in
the bad habit of constantly feeling under pressure of having to necessarily approach and pick up
random women wherever you go. It's also there to protect you from feeling guilty of missing out
on the opportunities to approach and pick up women as you described in your post.

Here're two reasons why your approach anxiety is your best friend and why you should not try
to beat it or overcome it in any way:

1) Again, your approach anxiety is there to save you from getting trapped in the situation that
you wouldn't naturally feel comfortable with and wouldn't really enjoy it in a long run. By the way,
I'm saying "in a long run" because most of us when we get stuck in chasing an obsession,
we're seduced to believe that what we're doing is really something that we fully love and enjoy doing.

2) Trying to beat your approach anxiety by getting in the habit of boldly approaching
as many random women in a day as possible is not only a form of validation seeking but
also something that will push you into an endless out-of-control, self destructive and
compulsive sexual behaviors that are characteristic of the behaviors of guys who suffer
from borderline and narcissistic personality disorders.

By the way, I'm neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist but just a guy like you who got
involved in the pickup community just to learn the game while never thinking of any mental
health dangers as the result of doing it.

Today I'm proud to say that I have a solid knowledge about the two most common men's
mental heath disorders that come purely as the outcome of practising the pua game: borderline
personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder.

As you can guess, I got into the trouble of learning about these mental disorders because my
severe approach anxiety (that I'd never ever experienced before) was getting worse and worse
and making me feel so distressed even at the times I was about to just take a short trip to my
local supermarket to buy something that I really felt I was not only losing my mental health but
also losing my whole self at such a fast speed that was out of my control.

In short, my one year long mental health educational journey got me to learn the 3 main
causes of all my pains and struggles linked with being involved in the game:

a) the first thing that got me in the habit of constantly pushing myself to boldly approach random
women in different social situations was my approach anxiety, because my approach anxiety
subconsciously became my main motivational trigger that was making me boldly approach
random women especially in high-risk social situations.

The more approach anxiety I felt, the more encouraged and motivated I was to approach a
random woman no matter what kind of situation she was in and who she was potentially with
at the time.

b) the second thing that got me in the same unhealthy habit of constantly forcing myself to
boldly approach any random woman that I was sexually attracted to was an abnormal sense
of entitlement. I later realized that I'd absorbed this sense of entitlement and got it to become
part of my personality through the process of learning the game since most pua trainers often
teach guys to feel entitled to freely approach any woman they like.

As the result of my mental health research, I learned that one of the main behavioral traits
of the guys who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder is exactly the same kind of
unhealthy sense of entitlement when boldly approaching random women anywhere they go.

c) the self-destructive habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach random women
in dangerous, high-risk situations is one of the main behavioral traits of sociopaths and the
guys who suffer from borderline personality disorder.

In short, the most common symptom of the men suffering from borderline personality disorder
is boldly engaging in dangerous life situations. In terms of dating and picking up women, this
refers to any kind of out-of-control, compulsive sexual behavior where a man often stupidly
exposes himself to an unnecessary risk or danger of getting harmed in one way or another,
because he starts to feel guilty if he doesn't take the challenge of getting himself involved
in such situation.

By the way, what I've just shared with you are also the symptoms of sexual addiction.

So, this is exactly how my initial pickup and sex obsession turned into a long-term sexual
addiction with the symptoms of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders.

And, here's the conclusion I got to after I finally got myself out of this whole trouble.

I got stuck in the vicious circle of anxiety-driven, out-of-control, compulsive sexual behaviors
around meeting women for years purely because of my childhood's hurt self-esteem that I
desperately wanted to lift up by sleeping with as many women in my entire lifetime as possible
just to be able to defiantly show off to my peers how sexually powerful and successful with
women I was.

Hope you find this post enlightening and helpful.

Bruno
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