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| I have a Problem and need a Little help and encouragement https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=190873 |
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| Author: | Magic90210 [ Fri Jun 05, 2015 4:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I have a Problem and need a Little help and encouragement |
The truth guys is that I have had a social anxiety problem most of my life since I was a shy and awkward kid which later haunted me in my teenage years. People see me social proofing and think "he knows everyone" or he is a sort of sociable guy. My buddy Tom even told me I was the "social guy" of the group of friends we have but the truth on the "inside" is that I am not social at all but merely pretend to be in a crowd setting. I just cant' seem to push the right buttons in women lately and can't establish that "connection". I mean sure I got laid a few times over the past couple months but the Social Anxiety problem is still there. I am slightly inside my head being the guy that "wishes he could" and thinks about what to say but then never says those words. I just can't think of what to say to people that will really connect and elevate a conversation to an in-depth length...something more then some "small talk" Last night for example I talked with like 11 girls but only for short spurts and nothing more then a light conversation. I just didn't feel I connected with any real set and stood around a lot more then usual. I was at a bar where this ex-model and bar manager works. Everyone in town knows her and I also find her very attractive. She is a 10 and for the first time ever I spoke to her as she passed by and I complemented her on her clothing and she smiled and said thanks. I just sort of clammed up a little. She is always surrounded by orbitors and other socialites in the bar industry. She is working a lot at night when I go out and she her so my only chance is this one night a week where she is at the restaurant but is not working and hanging out with friends typically at a table or VIP booth. I feel that I am making it more difficult then it has to be. But now that I know he will talk to me I am less nervous but don't have the words to say. Besides that there are so many obstacles between us like her other 8s and 10 friends, her entourage of "guy friends", gay friends, journalists, food critics, orbitors, AMOGs, her brother, boss, etc. I don't want to be a creep and I didn't express myself as one. But I want to give it a second shot in 1-2 weeks by approaching her a second time but say more then "I like your outfit...it looks great on you!" What should I do? |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Fri Jun 05, 2015 5:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I have a Problem and need a Little help and encouragemen |
Give up masturbation for 2-3 weeks and then try again. It was greatly reduce your anxiety and strength other subtle social areas of your life. |
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| Author: | Magic90210 [ Mon Jun 08, 2015 11:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I have a Problem and need a Little help and encouragemen |
Quote: Give up masturbation for 2-3 weeks and then try again.
What? It was greatly reduce your anxiety and strength other subtle social areas of your life. I just had sex last Saturday. That is not my problem. Please read the post. Anyhow your site is good but I need a real answer to the above situation. I think I have found "My 10.0" Neil in his book talks about his 10.0 and I think I have finally found the "Perfect 10" I have been looking for. |
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| Author: | PatrickAnanda [ Tue Jun 09, 2015 12:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I have a Problem and need a Little help and encouragemen |
Quote: Quote: Give up masturbation for 2-3 weeks and then try again.
What? It was greatly reduce your anxiety and strength other subtle social areas of your life. I just had sex last Saturday. That is not my problem. Please read the post. Anyhow your site is good but I need a real answer to the above situation. I think I have found "My 10.0" Neil in his book talks about his 10.0 and I think I have finally found the "Perfect 10" I have been looking for. What the actual fuck is a 10? Mate, snap out of it. Every time you give women numbers, you lose. Every time you designate someone a 10, she now has an impossible reputation to live up to. Can't you see that you brought this upon yourself? Mack |
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| Author: | ex-pua-bruno [ Tue Apr 05, 2016 9:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I have a Problem and need a Little help and encouragemen |
Quote: The truth guys is that I have had a social anxiety problem most of my life since I was a shy and awkward kid which later haunted me in my teenage years.
Hey man!People see me social proofing and think "he knows everyone" or he is a sort of sociable guy. My buddy Tom even told me I was the "social guy" of the group of friends we have but the truth on the "inside" is that I am not social at all but merely pretend to be in a crowd setting. I just cant' seem to push the right buttons in women lately and can't establish that "connection". I mean sure I got laid a few times over the past couple months but the Social Anxiety problem is still there. I am slightly inside my head being the guy that "wishes he could" and thinks about what to say but then never says those words. I just can't think of what to say to people that will really connect and elevate a conversation to an in-depth length...something more then some "small talk" Last night for example I talked with like 11 girls but only for short spurts and nothing more then a light conversation. I just didn't feel I connected with any real set and stood around a lot more then usual. I was at a bar where this ex-model and bar manager works. Everyone in town knows her and I also find her very attractive. She is a 10 and for the first time ever I spoke to her as she passed by and I complemented her on her clothing and she smiled and said thanks. I just sort of clammed up a little. She is always surrounded by orbitors and other socialites in the bar industry. She is working a lot at night when I go out and she her so my only chance is this one night a week where she is at the restaurant but is not working and hanging out with friends typically at a table or VIP booth. I feel that I am making it more difficult then it has to be. But now that I know he will talk to me I am less nervous but don't have the words to say. Besides that there are so many obstacles between us like her other 8s and 10 friends, her entourage of "guy friends", gay friends, journalists, food critics, orbitors, AMOGs, her brother, boss, etc. I don't want to be a creep and I didn't express myself as one. But I want to give it a second shot in 1-2 weeks by approaching her a second time but say more then "I like your outfit...it looks great on you!" What should I do? Your real confidence in knowing the right thing to say and then just saying it out loud comes from your belief that what you're going to say feels right to you. Let me explain. The main thing that most likely holds you back from saying anything more than just "hello, I like your outfit" to that woman is your conscience. If you go to Google and look up the meaning of the word conscience, you'll learn that conscience is an aptitude, faculty, intuition or judgment that assists you in distinguishing right from wrong. And, guess what. All your anxiety around either approaching a random woman or not knowing the right thing to say to strike up a conversation with her actually comes from your conscience. Both you and I have a moral sense of what's right and what's wrong. We have it instilled in ourselves through our conscience. Once you start pushing yourself into engaging in situations that may turn out to be risky, you'll naturally start to feel anxiety about doing so. In other words, your anxiety will come from somewhere within your conscience as a good warning for you not to do that, or you might get into a trouble if you do. The feeling of anxiety is like a line within your conscience that when you cross by pushing yourself into doing something that doesn't feel right to you, easily gets you involved in abnormal and insane behaviors. In short, your anxiety is like your guardian angel in a sense that it helps keep your behavior healthy and normal. That said, here're two reasons why you should never try to beat or overcome your approach anxiety around meeting women: 1) First, your approach anxiety is there to save you from getting trapped in the situation that you wouldn't naturally feel comfortable with and wouldn't really enjoy. And, getting in the habit of doing things that you don't truly enjoy often leads to an obsession that easily turns into an addiction. 2) Trying to beat your approach anxiety by getting in the habit of boldly approaching as many random women in a day as possible is not only a form of validation seeking but also something that will push you into an endless out-of-control, self destructive and compulsive sexual behaviors that are characteristic of the behaviors of guys who suffer from borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. By the way, I'm neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist but just a guy like you who got involved in the pickup community just to learn the game while never thinking of any mental health dangers as the result of doing it. Today I'm proud to say that I have a solid knowledge about the two most common men's mental heath disorders that come purely as the outcome of practising the pua game: borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. As you can guess, I got into the trouble of learning about these mental disorders because my severe approach anxiety (that I'd never ever experienced before) was getting worse and worse and making me feel so distressed even at the times I was about to just take a short trip to my local supermarket to buy something that I really felt I was not only losing my mental health but also losing my whole self at such a fast speed that was out of my control. In short, my one year long mental health educational journey got me to learn the 3 main causes of all my pains and struggles linked with being involved in the game: a) the first thing that got me in the habit of constantly pushing myself to boldly approach random women in different social situations was my approach anxiety, because my approach anxiety subconsciously became my main motivational trigger that was making me boldly approach random women especially in high-risk social situations. The more approach anxiety I felt, the more encouraged and motivated I was to approach a random woman no matter what kind of situation she was in and who she was potentially with at the time. b) the second thing that got me in the same unhealthy habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach any random woman that I was sexually attracted to was an abnormal sense of entitlement. I later realized that I'd absorbed this sense of entitlement and got it to become part of my personality through the process of learning the game since most pua trainers often teach guys to feel entitled to freely approach any woman they like. As the result of my mental health research, I learned that one of the main behavioral traits of the guys who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder is exactly the same kind of unhealthy sense of entitlement when boldly approaching random women anywhere they go. c) the self-destructive habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach random women in dangerous, high-risk situations is one of the main behavioral traits of sociopaths and the guys who suffer from borderline personality disorder. In short, the most common symptom of the men suffering from borderline personality disorder is boldly engaging in dangerous life situations. In terms of dating and picking up women, this refers to any kind of out-of-control, compulsive sexual behavior where a man often stupidly exposes himself to an unnecessary risk or danger of getting harmed in one way or another, because he starts to feel guilty if he doesn't take the challenge of getting himself involved in such situation. By the way, what I've just shared with you are also the symptoms of sexual addiction. So, this is exactly how my initial pickup and sex obsession turned into a long-term sexual addiction with the symptoms of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. And, here's the conclusion I got to after I finally got myself out of this whole trouble. I got stuck in the vicious circle of anxiety-driven, out-of-control, compulsive sexual behaviors around meeting women for years purely because of my childhood's hurt self-esteem that I desperately wanted to lift up by sleeping with as many women in my entire lifetime as possible just to be able to defiantly show off to my peers how sexually powerful and successful with women I was. Hope you find this post enlightening and helpful. Bruno |
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