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| Can anxiety ever be useful for attracting women? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=190385 |
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| Author: | thirsty1 [ Sun May 17, 2015 3:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Can anxiety ever be useful for attracting women? |
?? What are the best ways you know of to stop anxiety in its tracks? |
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| Author: | Dragula [ Sun May 17, 2015 6:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can anxiety ever be useful for attracting women? |
To do that the that is causing the anxiety a 1000 times. |
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| Author: | Black Phantom [ Fri Jun 12, 2015 5:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can anxiety ever be useful for attracting women? |
Quote: ??
Breathe into it. What are the best ways you know of to stop anxiety in its tracks? There is something magical when you start BREATHING deep into the feeling of anxiety. Usually you can feel it in your stomach, and when you do, just BREATHE into it for a period of time, accept it, feel it all the way through, become aware of it's presence... And allow it to happen. What this does is it makes the anxiety flow through your body more evenly, and because of that it slowly dissipates. You can also join my test group where I am testing a technique that's based on what I just told you. Very effective, and free. Info in the description. Hope this helps man, wish you best. Phantom |
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| Author: | PatrickAnanda [ Mon Jun 22, 2015 8:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can anxiety ever be useful for attracting women? |
Quote: ??
Heya brotherWhat are the best ways you know of to stop anxiety in its tracks? I feel your pain man, I've suffered with severe anxiety for years, so let's get right to the point shall we? The Buddha says that anxiety arises when there is a gap between where you are standing now, and where you want to be. You are at the bar, and you spot a beautiful woman. You want to be right there with her, making her laugh uncontrollably as she looks deep into your eyes and holds your bicep seductively. You want her to want you. You want her to be excited about you. You want to walk away with her number - or better still, with her on your arm. But you stop yourself. What happens to your body? Your chest tightens around your heart area, and your mind is flooded with self-defeating thoughts. Anxiety has arisen. Now you can fight this anxiety. You can go about it the way someone else mentioned - by doing it 1000 times until it's gone. But you wanna know a secret? It will never be gone. Never. So the solution is simply to shift your focus, or, in other words, to change the way you relate to anxiety. You see my friend, there is a fundamental difference between trying to crush your fears, and accepting them as part of the journey. One path leads to misery and burn out, the other leads to peace. Non-resistance is a foreign concept to most. Why accept what's there without trying to change it? But the fact is that trying to change it - in this case, trying to remove the anxiety, will simply make it grow stronger. Practically speaking, whenever that feeling takes hold, just notice it. Dont fight it, dont change it, just notice it. "Okay, I feel anxious". As we discussed, there is a gap between where you are and where you want to be, so here is the most important part; what makes a man great is his ability to act anyway. Yes, you feel anxious, and that's okay. Let it be there. Acknowledge it, respect it and honour the way you feel. But act anyway. In fact, try this exercise out next time; When you feel anxiety, shift your awareness to your feet. Focus only on moving each foot in the direction of the woman you want. Left, right, left, right. Before you know it, you're in front of her. So look her in the eye and say "I'm really nervous, but I wanted to meet you". Then see what happens. I promise you'll be amazed. To your success brother Your fan, Mack |
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| Author: | ExpressiveTale [ Sat Jun 27, 2015 2:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can anxiety ever be useful for attracting women? |
Speaking as a psychologist I would say that being afraid of approaching women and not talk to them is a specific form of social anxiety or shyness. By saying that I do not mean that there is anything pathological about it. The goal is to expose yourself to as much situations as possible where you have to talk to women. You may start with sentences like "Hi, whats the time?", something which does not make you feel too unpleasant. Having done that a couple of times you might increase your level of discomfort by complimenting the girls. In the first place the goal is not to get their numbers, but to interact with them for a short period of time. With time you will recognize that you gain more confidence. You will also recognize that nothing really bad has happened and that it is not weird at all to talk to women. I wish you all the best, but you have to remember to do it, otherwise things will remain like they are. |
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| Author: | ex-pua-bruno [ Tue Apr 05, 2016 8:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Can anxiety ever be useful for attracting women? |
Quote: ??
Hey man!What are the best ways you know of to stop anxiety in its tracks? I wouldn't recommend that you try to stop your anxiety in its tracks. And, my answer to your question in the subject line is: "No, anxiety can never be useful for attracting women." The situation where you feel anxious about approaching random women is actually not a bad thing for your mental health. Let me explain. Your approach anxiety is like your guardian angel protecting you from getting stuck in the kind of obsession I told you about a minute ago. It's there to protect you from getting in the bad habit of constantly feeling under pressure of having to necessarily approach and pick up random women wherever you go. It's also there to protect you from being fed up with and feeling guilty of missing out on the opportunities to approach and pick up women. Here're two reasons why your approach anxiety is your best friend and why you should not try to beat it or overcome it in any way: 1) Again, your approach anxiety is there to save you from getting trapped in the situation that you wouldn't naturally feel comfortable with and wouldn't really enjoy it in a long run. By the way, I'm saying "in a long run" because most of us when we get stuck in chasing an obsession, we're seduced to believe that what we're doing is really something that we fully love and enjoy doing. 2) Trying to beat your approach anxiety by getting in the habit of boldly approaching as many random women in a day as possible is not only a form of validation seeking but also something that will push you into an endless out-of-control, self destructive and compulsive sexual behaviors that are characteristic of the behaviors of guys who suffer from borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. By the way, I'm neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist but just a guy like you who got involved in the pickup community just to learn the game while never thinking of any mental health dangers as the result of doing it. Today I'm proud to say that I have a solid knowledge about the two most common men's mental heath disorders that come purely as the outcome of practising the pua game: borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. As you can guess, I got into the trouble of learning about these mental disorders because my severe approach anxiety (that I'd never ever experienced before) was getting worse and worse and making me feel so distressed even at the times I was about to just take a short trip to my local supermarket to buy something that I really felt I was not only losing my mental health but also losing my whole self at such a fast speed that was out of my control. In short, my one year long mental health educational journey got me to learn the 3 main causes of all my pains and struggles linked with being involved in the game: a) the first thing that got me in the habit of constantly pushing myself to boldly approach random women in different social situations was my approach anxiety, because my approach anxiety subconsciously became my main motivational trigger that was making me boldly approach random women especially in high-risk social situations. The more approach anxiety I felt, the more encouraged and motivated I was to approach a random woman no matter what kind of situation she was in and who she was potentially with at the time. b) the second thing that got me in the same unhealthy habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach any random woman that I was sexually attracted to was an abnormal sense of entitlement. I later realized that I'd absorbed this sense of entitlement and got it to become part of my personality through the process of learning the game since most pua trainers often teach guys to feel entitled to freely approach any woman they like. As the result of my mental health research, I learned that one of the main behavioral traits of the guys who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder is exactly the same kind of unhealthy sense of entitlement when boldly approaching random women anywhere they go. c) the self-destructive habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach random women in dangerous, high-risk situations is one of the main behavioral traits of sociopaths and the guys who suffer from borderline personality disorder. In short, the most common symptom of the men suffering from borderline personality disorder is boldly engaging in dangerous life situations. In terms of dating and picking up women, this refers to any kind of out-of-control, compulsive sexual behavior where a man often stupidly exposes himself to an unnecessary risk or danger of getting harmed in one way or another, because he starts to feel guilty if he doesn't take the challenge of getting himself involved in such situation. By the way, what I've just shared with you are also the symptoms of sexual addiction. So, this is exactly how my initial pickup and sex obsession turned into a long-term sexual addiction with the symptoms of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. And, here's the conclusion I got to after I finally got myself out of this whole trouble. I got stuck in the vicious circle of anxiety-driven, out-of-control, compulsive sexual behaviors around meeting women for years purely because of my childhood's hurt self-esteem that I desperately wanted to lift up by sleeping with as many women in my entire lifetime as possible just to be able to defiantly show off to my peers how sexually powerful and successful with women I was. Hope you find this post enlightening and helpful. Bruno |
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