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Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
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Author:  taiko [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Hi.

I need help with something (really? duh!). There's this girl at work that I feel very much atracted to. She works at a different part of the building. Altough, I see her everyday because of the everyday morning meetings. I talked to her once and she seemed very friendly.

The thing is, it's a group and I have this social anxiety towards her and since we're in a group it's even worse.

And I don't have much time because both of us will not work there anymore very soon.

And I think I've screwd up somehow. I have her facebook and I invited her for a cup of coffee. Through facebook... But my message was seen and ignored successfully... lol

So, what should I do, other than man up and go talk to her already? Should I go up to her and ask something like "how about that coffee"?

I need help. Altough I don't know her very much yet, I'd like to get to know her. She's hot, pretty and I like her personality. Help, please. :\

P.S: I don't have a problem to aproach in most cases, but this one managed to get through the defenses lol.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
So, what should I do, other than man up and go talk to her already? Should I go up to her and ask something like "how about that coffee"?
What's wrong with this plan? This would be my advice.
Author:  taiko [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
Quote:
So, what should I do, other than man up and go talk to her already? Should I go up to her and ask something like "how about that coffee"?
What's wrong with this plan? This would be my advice.
Hm... Well, that couldn't hurt... Anyway, if I'm not successfull we won't see each other anymore...

I'll see if I can overcome this about her and ask tomorrow.

I haven't felt like this for some time, now.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
She's probably really a zombie and will eat your brain as soon as you get close enough.

Sounds silly right? So is your fear.....
Author:  taiko [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
She's probably really a zombie and will eat your brain as soon as you get close enough.

Sounds silly right? So is your fear.....
LOL

Yeah, the thing is I know it's stupid. But that's how I feel about her, only.

Anyway, I will make myself aproach tomorrow and hope it goes for the best.

Thanks. ;)
Author:  JSmooth [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 7:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
taiko wrote:
So, what should I do, other than man up and go talk to her already? Should I go up to her and ask something like "how about that coffee"?

What's wrong with this plan? This would be my advice.
We have a tendency to over analyze and be too hard on ourselves. Get in a good positive frame of mind and go in there with this. Look at chive, a funny youtube video, listen to some music, think happy thoughts or whatever but don't go in there "oh um... kinda attitude" ensure you have a smile on your face and have an energy about you. It is not so much what you say, it is how you say it.

Good Luck!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
But that's how I feel about her, only.
Right here is your problem. She is NOT SPECIAL! There are a million girls just like her. Most of them taking a shit, changing their tampon, or picking their noses as we speak!
Author:  taiko [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
Quote:
taiko wrote:
So, what should I do, other than man up and go talk to her already? Should I go up to her and ask something like "how about that coffee"?

What's wrong with this plan? This would be my advice.
We have a tendency to over analyze and be too hard on ourselves. Get in a good positive frame of mind and go in there with this. Look at chive, a funny youtube video, listen to some music, think happy thoughts or whatever but don't go in there "oh um... kinda attitude" ensure you have a smile on your face and have an energy about you. It is not so much what you say, it is how you say it.

Good Luck!
Yes, the atittude is everything. A few years ago no girl would look at me twice. Then I started picking up a few tips on body language, confidence and so on and though it's far from perfect (because I honestly don't take it seriously) today I notice a girl or two here and there staring at me. And it feels good to be apreciated. :)
Quote:
Quote:
But that's how I feel about her, only.
Right here is your problem. She is NOT SPECIAL! There are a million girls just like her. Most of them taking a shit, changing their tampon, or picking their noses as we speak!
LMFAO This made me laugh so much. I wonder what mood I'd be in if I imagined her picking her nose. LOOL
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
I wonder what mood I'd be in if I imagined her picking her nose. LOOL
Only one way to find out!
Author:  taiko [ Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
hahaha

I imagine it will be fun.
Author:  taiko [ Fri Feb 27, 2015 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Ok, I aproached her and it went bad. I was very bad lol.
I said "hi, good morning" and imediately went in to compliment her with a kiss. But she backed away and said to me "you don't ever compliment me, why are you doing it now?" and I was embarassed. Then someone went to talk to her about work and I just backed away and carried on to my work place.

I'm very frustrated about this right now because I didn't know what to say when she "kinda attacked me".

That said, I was so embarassed that I didn't ask her out for a coffee..

Is there anything I can do to revert the situation?

Oh, and I will now see her only next wednesday (because of days off) wich will be her last day of work on the company. And me on the next day.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Fri Feb 27, 2015 6:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
I said "hi, good morning" and imediately went in to compliment her with a kiss. But she backed away and said to me "you don't ever compliment me, why are you doing it now?" and I was embarassed.
WHAT??? Nobody told you to kiss her! You need to build attraction and escalate before you just go and plant one on her!
Author:  taiko [ Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Just a kiss on the cheek. Not anything else.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
Quote:
Just a kiss on the cheek. Not anything else.
Dude, you work with her... You can't just act abnormally from how you typically behave and kiss her (no matter where) if you don't normally kiss her.

You have to read her reactions.

You flirt, and see how she reacts... You kino, and see how she reacts... Escalate and see how she reacts... You skipped these steps entirely.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Group anxiety and afraid to aproach.
I'm surprised you didn't run up squeeze her tits and run....

I'm guessin you were raised by a predominate female household and have no man skills whatsoever.

Bro you need to start from scratch.. Ground zero.
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