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| how do i find inner peace with myself and my surroundings? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=187626 |
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| Author: | desperateandalone [ Tue Feb 03, 2015 8:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | how do i find inner peace with myself and my surroundings? |
Hey guys, It seems no matter what I do in life I still end up frustrated and full of anxiety. I should probably change things before they get worse, but having trouble with where to start. My goal is to achieve an inner peace that transcends all external circumstances and allows me to be the best version of myself. A bit of info, I'm a young guy in decent shape and currently going to school full time. What are some things you guys change in your lives when you have anxiety? The more specific the better What are things that you do that allow you to be the best version of yourself? Appreciate any feedback! Thanks |
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| Author: | Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Feb 03, 2015 10:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: how do i find inner peace with myself and my surrounding |
Don't self-identify with being an anxious person. Even your username reflects your state of mind right now; "Desperate and Alone". You need to let go of this negative personality and stop being so afraid of outcomes. Don't let other people assess and assign value to you. Only you are capable of deciding whether you are high value or not. Stop giving a shit what other people think. You matter. Nobody else matters. Do not aim for inner peace, aim for the danger of outer chaos. Inner peace implies comfort; something which is soothing and predictable. Go where there is chaos, take risks, go into situations which make you feel uncomfortable every day. By all means feel free to meditate if that's your thing, but all the action and excitement in life is outside your comfort zone. Go and get it. You have to take what is yours. If you patiently wait for success, it will never come. |
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| Author: | Black Phantom [ Wed Feb 04, 2015 12:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: how do i find inner peace with myself and my surrounding |
One of the most powerful things you can do for your anxiety is simply changing your state. Now when I use the word "simply", people assume that it's too easy to be effective. Because simple solutions don't work on a complex problem, right? Anyhow, the wisdom behind the simple solution is in the fact that you are already creating any state inside of you. Be it anxiety, depression, happiness, confidence...you are ALWAYS creating your state. Your state, like anything else has a STRUCTURE. It's how you hold your body, what you focus on and how you talk to yourself. For example, to feel sad or depressed, the structure would be to put your head down, slouch your shoulders, look down, breathe shallow, focus on all the bad things in your life and talk with yourself like, "I'm such a failure..." And the same goes for confidence. If you want to put yourself into a confident state, you put your shoulders back, you stand straight with your chest slightly elevated, you smile, look people in the eyes, focus on things that are good in your life and talk with yourself like, "I'm the man, i can do anything I put my mind to..." Make sense? Your anxiety is not some weird problem that you can't solve, or that you need years of work to solve it. Your anxiety can be handled, believe it or not in less than an hour of learning how to change your state at any time you want. The reason you feel anxious is because you became a master at putting yourself into an anxious state. Now you just need to do the same for a state that you'd actually want to be in, like confidence for example. If you're willing to put in the work, then I invite you or anyone reading this to take part into a small test group in which I am testing this new Approach Anxiety Cure technique, with which I help you cure your anxiety in less than 60min - for free. If you'd like to join, the link is in the signature. So use what I just said - work on your state of confidence, and stop being a victim of your state. It's too easy to change it. Wish you best! |
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| Author: | Kore Kreate [ Mon Jul 06, 2015 6:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: how do i find inner peace with myself and my surrounding |
Great way to resolve this is to recognize that you are a creator of circumstance. Second, recognize that you can not control everything and others. Ironically, when you understand and internalize this you are in more control of your life. |
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| Author: | PatrickAnanda [ Wed Jul 08, 2015 8:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: how do i find inner peace with myself and my surrounding |
Quote: Hey guys,
Hey brotherIt seems no matter what I do in life I still end up frustrated and full of anxiety. I should probably change things before they get worse, but having trouble with where to start. My goal is to achieve an inner peace that transcends all external circumstances and allows me to be the best version of myself. A bit of info, I'm a young guy in decent shape and currently going to school full time. What are some things you guys change in your lives when you have anxiety? The more specific the better What are things that you do that allow you to be the best version of yourself? Appreciate any feedback! Thanks Anxiety is a problem most people experience, especially in this day and age. We can talk for hours about leaning into your fears, about pushing yourself, about not identifying with the anxiety, about whatever else you want, but there is one way that is easier, and you can start doing it right now! Relax and let go "you only lose what you cling to" - Buddha Just relax. Always always always relax. Notice your internal state and if anxious, begin to relax. How? Simple; take a deep breath from your stomach. Fill it up completely then hold it. Now fill up the middle of your chest and hold it. Now, fill up the top part of your chest fully and hold it. Breathe out form the bottom, then the middle, then the top, emptying out everything. Do this 4 or 5 times and you'll already notice yourself in a calmer state. The second half is to let go! You are anxious because you are holding on - because you want a result. I'll let Alan Watts explain it better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXq_mVU ... E_6-qyAP-K Hope this helps With love and respect Mack |
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| Author: | Andrrei [ Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: how do i find inner peace with myself and my surrounding |
Take drugs. |
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| Author: | ex-pua-bruno [ Tue Apr 05, 2016 7:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: how do i find inner peace with myself and my surrounding |
Quote: Hey guys,
Hey man!It seems no matter what I do in life I still end up frustrated and full of anxiety. I should probably change things before they get worse, but having trouble with where to start. My goal is to achieve an inner peace that transcends all external circumstances and allows me to be the best version of myself. A bit of info, I'm a young guy in decent shape and currently going to school full time. What are some things you guys change in your lives when you have anxiety? The more specific the better What are things that you do that allow you to be the best version of yourself? Appreciate any feedback! Thanks I'm glad that you've spoken up and shared your problem because I can definitely relate to your situation of desperately searching for the right path to overcoming your overall anxiety issue and living your life to the fullest while being the best version of yourself. Having gone through exactly the same kind of shit where for years I was waking up each morning very anxious, empty and insecure while desperately wanting to know how to effortlessly live my true passion and be the best version of myself, I'm now happy to be in the position to help you find your desired inner peace. There're two important steps that you should take to get in the right direction of finding your inner peace: 1. You need to immediately stop doing everything that makes you feel under pressure or feel forced into doing it, because chances are that what you've been busy with so far in your life are not the things that you really and truly love and enjoy. 2. You need to invest some time and effort in pinpointing your true passions in life, because without living your true passions you will definitely stay being extremely unhappy and anxious. As for identifying your true passions, I'd warmly recommend that you read the bestselling book "The Passion Test: The Effortless Path To Discovering Your Life Purpose" (by Chris and Janet Attwood) that hugely enlightened me to the experience of my own breakthrough on the same matter. When it comes to knowing what you need to change and why you need to change it in order to stop being stuck in your anxiety and constantly feeling under pressure with regards to both improving your relationships with women and reaching your overall true happiness in your every day life, I'm now going to try to inspire you to start thinking in the right direction of getting there as soon as possible. A good way for me to inspire you to start thinking in the right direction is to share with you one of my favorite Bruce Lee's quotes that says: "We do not become, we simply are." Chances are that what initially pushed you into that frustrating anxiety around both meeting women and also being extremely unhappy with your current life situation are most likely the following two things: a) trying very hard to become somebody who you are not while desperately trying to adopt and live by the model of behavior that doesn't really suit your true personality, and b) getting seduced into believing that picking up an endless number of women just to have sex with them is really something that you could call part of your true happiness or passion, while in fact, this very activity is nothing but part of a pure obsession that you don't truly enjoy and that in the first place you've subconsciously got forced to believe that you should enjoy no matter what, because somebody taught you that this is the way of how you become that ideal alpha man. What I'm trying to point out to you here is that like many other guys including myself who ended up in the pickup arts community mainly because our self esteem got badly hurt sometime during our early age and all we're now trying to do is just lift it up or fix it through gaining a kind of sexual gratification based on sleeping with as many women as possible in our lifetime, you seem to be stuck in exactly the same kind of situation. Before I go on telling you a little bit of my story, let me ask you a simple question. Have you ever asked yourself that important "Do I really enjoy it?" question when trying to attract and pick up women? Asking myself this question was a huge light bulb moment in my life, because it helped me realize that everything I was doing in the area of attracting and picking up women for years was purely the result of just acting under the pressure - the unnecessary pressure of constantly forcing myself into doing what I didn't really love and enjoy at all. What made me keep forcing myself to boldly approach random women just to pick them up as my sexual objects was both my initial belief that doing it was part of my true passion and also my adopted pickup arts conditioning that was constantly pushing me into my sexual advances with random women just for the sake of not feeling guilty of missing out on any pickup opportunities when I get back home later. Guess what. I was wrong when trying to identify my true passion. All my sexual advances that I was constantly forcing myself into were a pure obsession that I now like to call my false passion. My pickup and sex obsession started mainly as the outcome of dating related peer pressure from my childhood. I got stuck in this obsession for two reasons: a) I initially didn't fit in the social circles of my peers because I didn't really like most of their behaviors, and b) my inner resistance toward the peer pressure grew so much that I gradually got myself into thinking of creating my own international playboy lifestyle surrounded by the most beautiful women that I'd have lots of fun and sex with for the rest of my life. As a result, my pickup and sex obsession got me stuck in a long-term sexual addiction with the symptoms of the two most common men's mental disorders known as borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. Now here's an important thing that I'd really like you to understand. The situation where you feel anxious and reserved about approaching random women is actually not a bad thing. Let me explain. Your approach anxiety is like your guardian angel protecting you from getting stuck in the kind of obsession I told you about a minute ago. It's there to protect you from getting in the bad habit of constantly feeling under pressure of having to necessarily approach and pick up random women wherever you go. It's also there to protect you from being fed up with and feeling guilty of missing out on the opportunities to approach and pick up women as you described in the title of your post. Here're two reasons why your approach anxiety is your best friend and why you should not try to beat it or overcome it in any way: 1) Again, your approach anxiety is there to save you from getting trapped in the situation that you wouldn't naturally feel comfortable with and wouldn't really enjoy it in a long run. By the way, I'm saying "in a long run" because most of us when we get stuck in chasing an obsession, we're seduced to believe that what we're doing is really something that we fully love and enjoy doing. 2) Trying to beat your approach anxiety by getting in the habit of boldly approaching as many random women in a day as possible is not only a form of validation seeking but also something that will push you into an endless out-of-control, self destructive and compulsive sexual behaviors that are characteristic of the behaviors of guys who suffer from borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. By the way, I'm neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist but just a guy like you who got involved in the pickup community just to learn the game while never thinking of any mental health dangers as the result of doing it. Today I'm proud to say that I have a solid knowledge about the two most common men's mental heath disorders that come purely as the outcome of practising the pua game: borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. As you can guess, I got into the trouble of learning about these mental disorders because my severe approach anxiety (that I'd never ever experienced before) was getting worse and worse and making me feel so distressed even at the times I was about to just take a short trip to my local supermarket to buy something that I really felt I was not only losing my mental health but also losing my whole self at such a fast speed that was out of my control. In short, my one year long mental health educational journey got me to learn the 3 main causes of all my pains and struggles linked with being involved in the game: a) the first thing that got me in the habit of constantly pushing myself to boldly approach random women in different social situations was my approach anxiety, because my approach anxiety subconsciously became my main motivational trigger that was making me boldly approach random women especially in high-risk social situations. The more approach anxiety I felt, the more encouraged and motivated I was to approach a random woman no matter what kind of situation she was in and who she was potentially with at the time. b) the second thing that got me in the same unhealthy habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach any random woman that I was sexually attracted to was an abnormal sense of entitlement. I later realized that I'd absorbed this sense of entitlement and got it to become part of my personality through the process of learning the game since most pua trainers often teach guys to feel entitled to freely approach any woman they like. As the result of my mental health research, I learned that one of the main behavioral traits of the guys who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder is exactly the same kind of unhealthy sense of entitlement when boldly approaching random women anywhere they go. c) the self-destructive habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach random women in dangerous, high-risk situations is one of the main behavioral traits of sociopaths and the guys who suffer from borderline personality disorder. In short, the most common symptom of the men suffering from borderline personality disorder is boldly engaging in dangerous life situations. In terms of dating and picking up women, this refers to any kind of out-of-control, compulsive sexual behavior where a man often stupidly exposes himself to an unnecessary risk or danger of getting harmed in one way or another, because he starts to feel guilty if he doesn't take the challenge of getting himself involved in such situation. By the way, what I've just shared with you are also the symptoms of sexual addiction. So, this is exactly how my initial pickup and sex obsession turned into a long-term sexual addiction with the symptoms of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. And, here's the conclusion I got to after I finally got myself out of this whole trouble. I got stuck in the vicious circle of anxiety-driven, out-of-control, compulsive sexual behaviors around meeting women for years purely because of my childhood's hurt self-esteem that I desperately wanted to lift up by sleeping with as many women in my entire lifetime as possible just to be able to defiantly show off to my peers how sexually powerful and successful with women I was. The bottom line is this: You're very likely to end up both being constantly unhappy with yourself and getting addicted to doing various unnecessary things that you don't really love and enjoy when you don't follow and live your true passions which are the things that you actually love and enjoy. Once you start living closely aligned with your true passions, you'll end up waking up every morning super excited and fulfilled while having both that important clarity of what your next steps are and a clear vision of your dream success. As a result, your desired inner peace will naturally fall into place. Hope you find this post enlightening and helpful. Bruno |
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