No boyfriend but possibly the future. Should I hurry?



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2014 9:20 pm 
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Hi. I'm having a bit of a situation here.
I'm attracted to this girl at work and I already opened her ( which was a bit frightening to me because I am naturally a bit of an introvert, not much but still...) and we more at ease with each other now. The thing is I've noticed signs of attraction from her. She smiles a lot when she is with me, she is playfull... I've already texted her before to meet up with me for some coffee and today we did.

As we were talking, she said to me that she has someone. But then she made it clear that he is not her boyfriend. I'm a bit confused right now... About that and the fact that she made it clear about him not being her boyfriend when I kind of stopped talking for a bit and stared at her not knowing what to say...

I'm all sorts of confused right now. And should I hurry or something?

Thanks, in advance, for any advice. ;)

Fábio.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 4:37 am 
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Most cute girls will have a bunch of guys and AFCs orbiting them in one way or another. It's nothing to even think about or take into consideration. Proceed as normal.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 9:55 pm 
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Most cute girls will have a bunch of guys and AFCs orbiting them in one way or another. It's nothing to even think about or take into consideration. Proceed as normal.
Ok, that's good to know.


Thanks for the info. ;)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:55 am 
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Hi. I'm having a bit of a situation here.
I'm attracted to this girl at work and I already opened her ( which was a bit frightening to me because I am naturally a bit of an introvert, not much but still...) and we more at ease with each other now. The thing is I've noticed signs of attraction from her. She smiles a lot when she is with me, she is playfull... I've already texted her before to meet up with me for some coffee and today we did.

As we were talking, she said to me that she has someone. But then she made it clear that he is not her boyfriend. I'm a bit confused right now... About that and the fact that she made it clear about him not being her boyfriend when I kind of stopped talking for a bit and stared at her not knowing what to say...

I'm all sorts of confused right now. And should I hurry or something?

Thanks, in advance, for any advice. ;)

Fábio.
that's a strong IOI from her. she wouldn't mention it, if she wasn't interested in you.

keep the momentum going. ask her out for drinks after work first. more casual than a full-blown, official dinner date. bond a little bit more over a happy hour.

if the vibe is right, take her out for dinner right after. a girl gotta eat, right?

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:26 am 
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For future reference. Don't ever just stare at a girl not knowing what to say, it comes off as insecure. Her having other interests should not even bother you. They will be inferior if your game is on point. Just play it cool and don't think about the other scrubs.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 2:16 pm 
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Quote:
Hi. I'm having a bit of a situation here.
I'm attracted to this girl at work and I already opened her ( which was a bit frightening to me because I am naturally a bit of an introvert, not much but still...) and we more at ease with each other now. The thing is I've noticed signs of attraction from her. She smiles a lot when she is with me, she is playfull... I've already texted her before to meet up with me for some coffee and today we did.

As we were talking, she said to me that she has someone. But then she made it clear that he is not her boyfriend. I'm a bit confused right now... About that and the fact that she made it clear about him not being her boyfriend when I kind of stopped talking for a bit and stared at her not knowing what to say...

I'm all sorts of confused right now. And should I hurry or something?

Thanks, in advance, for any advice. ;)

Fábio.
that's a strong IOI from her. she wouldn't mention it, if she wasn't interested in you.

keep the momentum going. ask her out for drinks after work first. more casual than a full-blown, official dinner date. bond a little bit more over a happy hour.

if the vibe is right, take her out for dinner right after. a girl gotta eat, right?
Thanks for the advice. I will do that. Let's see how it goes. ;)
Quote:
For future reference. Don't ever just stare at a girl not knowing what to say, it comes off as insecure. Her having other interests should not even bother you. They will be inferior if your game is on point. Just play it cool and don't think about the other scrubs.
Yes, I got that. Thanks for the info. :)


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:33 pm 
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Bring the adventure side of her.

One thing that suprised me of how deep the effects are is : "just think you're meeting her at the christmas party" dont mention, dont force anything, just frame urself that way and u will be amazed


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 6:21 pm 
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Bring the adventure side of her.

One thing that suprised me of how deep the effects are is : "just think you're meeting her at the christmas party" dont mention, dont force anything, just frame urself that way and u will be amazed
Actually, I'm going to a christmas dinner party and she's going to be there. And she's asked me several times already if I'll go to it, even after I told her several times that I'd go. :)


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2014 7:35 pm 
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Ok, I've decided to give up on her.

I don't know why but since like for 2 weeks now she's been avoiding me almost every day. And almost every day I've been the one going to talk to her. We work at the same company but rarely see each other so it's not like it's annoying for some reason.

Depending on her change of attitude/spirits/whatever, I might give it a second try a bit down the road or something.. But I guess not now..

P.S: I'm not sure but that "someone" I talk about (I don't know if it's boyfriend or not) could be the reason why she's this way.

What do you think? Do you think I could do something about it or just wait, mostly, for her to come to me if she feels like it? I'm opened to advice.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 3:40 am 
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Try to keep contact with her on a minimum for now, you were too late, you HAVE to sexually escalate from the start so she knows you're interested in her..the earlier you start to make a move the better,it separates you from most guys,lead, work on inner confidence, because without inner confidence you will come off as insecure and undesirable, just keep gaming other girls for now and let her hit you up, I promise you she'll eventually hit you up out of the blue...if not oh well there are more girls in the world than guys..it's her loss.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:10 pm 
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Try to keep contact with her on a minimum for now, you were too late, you HAVE to sexually escalate from the start so she knows you're interested in her..the earlier you start to make a move the better,it separates you from most guys,lead, work on inner confidence, because without inner confidence you will come off as insecure and undesirable, just keep gaming other girls for now and let her hit you up, I promise you she'll eventually hit you up out of the blue...if not oh well there are more girls in the world than guys..it's her loss.
Yeah, I don't know exactly what happened. But, well, I guess you're right. If she eventually comes around, great. If not, it's a shame, but life happens. :)


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 12:19 am 
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Yeah, I don't know exactly what happened. But, well, I guess you're right. If she eventually comes around, great. If not, it's a shame, but life happens. :)
Thats the attitude!

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2014 12:45 pm 
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Ok, so this is what's been happening. I've been avoiding her (well, not avoiding, just not seeking her out) for like 2 weeks now and it seems to be having an effect. First she continued ignoring me, mostly. But now she always says hi when we meet.

A few days ago whe I walked by her on the street at lunch break I heard her talking to a friend (both coming in my direction) and saying something like "how am I supposed to know?" and both looked at me with a different look on their faces and I just complimented them and continued walking.

Yesterday, I walked into the elevator and there she was, with another friend and co-worker. And out of the blue she started talking about guys and how they were confusing or something and said she would become a lesbian (with a playful tone).

Well... As I see it both could be just coincidence. But I can see that both could be signs as well. Don't need and expert to tell me that lol.

My question here is... It has been a bit awkward between us since I took the initiative os not seeking her out. How do I change that reality without showing that I had alzheimer and nothing happened?

I want her to know this happened and that it's not ok to do the same to me. If she's interested she also has to work for it and not show the oposite, desinterest...


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 7:33 am 
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OP, as far as I can tell you've been out with her the one time for coffee. You are reading a lot into this one girl because if I'm reading correctly between the lines you haven't opened yourself to more opportunities with more women.
Quote:
P.S: I'm not sure but that "someone" I talk about (I don't know if it's boyfriend or not) could be the reason why she's this way.
Don't think about any of the orbiters, there's no point to even consider them.

Just start talking to her again, gauge her interest level, and if things are vibing well after a few days ask her out for drinks and go from there.

P.S. Thanks Da


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 8:48 pm 
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OP, as far as I can tell you've been out with her the one time for coffee. You are reading a lot into this one girl because if I'm reading correctly between the lines you haven't opened yourself to more opportunities with more women.
Quote:
P.S: I'm not sure but that "someone" I talk about (I don't know if it's boyfriend or not) could be the reason why she's this way.
Don't think about any of the orbiters, there's no point to even consider them.

Just start talking to her again, gauge her interest level, and if things are vibing well after a few days ask her out for drinks and go from there.

P.S. Thanks Da
Thanks. And no, I haven't been opening other women. Honestly, I don't feel at ease opening people I don't know. It's not exactly aproach anxiety. (we all have at least a bit in every situation with a stranger but it's not that)

Anyway, I'll do that. Let's see if it's worth it.


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