Fear of rejection - help needed!



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Inner Game » Social Shyness & Anxiety




Author Message
PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 2:42 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:20 pm
Posts: 166
Location: Manchester, England
This may be a bit long, so bear with me.

Like many of you I was a complete chode and a virgin before discovering PUA and testing it out, with not much confidence in my own abilities.

When I first started in pickup as a newbie, I loved it. I loved pushing myself and putting myself out there, getting a lot of success in each night (although I only got laid once in the beginning). More importantly, it positively transformed my perspective of myself in a very short space of time (3-4 months), so much so that my best friends were genuinely shocked and thought it was all a front!!

Once I began to realise my identity as an alpha male that girls love, something happened. It was like my mind said, "Why should you risk all that you've worked so hard for?" I recently discovered this is fear of rejection.

It's a bit like trying to give up an addiction: my conscience and my own aspirations tell me to go out and have fun sarging and whatnot, but my emotions are giving me resistance and telling me 'No, you'll risk your own state by approaching girls.' As a result I'm only approaching very minimally, and I barely ever pour my heart into it. On some nights it feels like a chore, and it's draining at my motivation. This has been going on FOR OVER A YEAR NOW, and although I've still gotten a lot of dates and fucked 6 girls this year (not good enough for me, but still...) I'm starting to notice that my alpha-mindset is almost reverting back to what I was.

I know what I must do (which is to DO as much as possible for my development each night), but I need your help to kill this sticking point dead! Preferably people who have overcome their fear of rejection and find genuine enjoyment in sarging, if you could please give me any pointers that would be great!

Cheers,

Ninja

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email :) cheers!


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 7:53 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 6:46 pm
Posts: 729
It's because your main aim for going out became to hook up with a girl and have sex the same night.

Go out to have fun and remember that when you are approaching, you are meeting new people, making new friends, and most importantly improving yourself.


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2013 9:20 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:20 pm
Posts: 166
Location: Manchester, England
I don't think that's true with me. I would rather prioritise having fun than getting results/pulling girls, although pulling girls is fun haha

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email :) cheers!


Top
   
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:12 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:25 am
Posts: 79
"Once I began to realise my identity as an alpha male that girls love"

I think this is your problem. You made yourself into something in your head. Now your trying to protect that identity you have made for yourself. Your afraid of rejection because that will signify your not an alpha male anymore.

If that is true let me clear it up for you. we're all nothing. what you did in the past will slowly fade away until it's like it never happened. you were a ten year old boy many years ago your not the same thing now. All that matters is the now and the future. Whatever identity you make for yourself its doomed to fail one day. Look at Michael Jordan one of the all time greatest. He can't play anymore. His skills and health are slowly fading away and even his popularity. We're paying attention to him less and less.

Don't be afraid of failure because it is from failure we learn. Michael Jordan was the greatest because every time he had an opportunity he would take it. Michael Jordan had no fear of failure. Lebron James does and he chokes.

hope this helps. if not ah well.


Top
   
PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 2:27 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:20 pm
Posts: 166
Location: Manchester, England
Yeah, that fits actually! I began to believe in myself as an alpha kind of man. Having known what it's like to be the exact opposite, I can say that I am scared of failure.

Only problem is, my mind is scared of approaching as it predicts failure (which is quite irrational, I don't even care about it all that much). But really if I don't approach then I will fail even harder, it's the other way round. So motivating myself to risk the perceived (and false) failure of approaching and making progress can be facilitated by knowing that if I don't, I could become what I used to be...

Actually just came back from a short night out, had to leave early. One direct approach, one makeout. It's just silly little things like that which make you realise that the process is all simple, but we insist on making it difficult for ourselves. Knowing that makes me stronger!

_________________
'I am the bridge between two co-existing realities - one of many, and one in a million'

Do YOU live in Manchester, England! If so, please Facebook my email :) cheers!


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:46 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:24 pm
Posts: 13
Sometimes we are our own worse enemies. I definitely could have 'closed' a lot more deals when I first started out if I had not been nervous or fearful of rejection.
You are just going to need work on it a bit. Realize that you have nothing to lose if you are rejected--you are alone now.
Or, just go out and have fun and use the techniques in the forum. You are bound to win sooner or later.
Life is about probability. You won't win all the time.


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:57 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 880
Location: Newcastle
The only power that the fear of rejection has is what you give. It has NO power over you, it's just a con. If you can approach a woman because someone has offered you a £1,000,000 to do so then you can approach.


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:34 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2013 10:58 pm
Posts: 124
You could try this -

Pump up your state to the max, reminding yourself of how much of a powerful alpha male you are...

Once its to the level where you feel like a total champion, write down on a paper or a note in your phone how great you feel about yourself and how much you've become a man you actually admire


Make sure you don't lose this writing.


This does 2 things; it solidifies your new alpha male mindset, because whatever you write down with intention becomes deeply imprinted into your subconscious, and also, you always have a checkpoint which you can revert to when youre feeling down or less than in state.

Now you're invincible.

You can go out and get rejected over and over, and feel less than awesome,

then you'll open up this paper or note of your self, and you'll instantly be reminded of how powerful you truly are and how far you've come. Your state will revert back to its original high level.

In a few months when you feel EVEN MORE like a magnificent alpha, record how you feel even better about yourself, and THAT will be your next check point.

You can only go up, by following this little tip

You don't need to know exactly how it works, just that it does.

I used it and still use it to keep myself persistent in all areas of my life.

Hope that helps.

_________________
The absolute best inner-game fix I've ever found

LimitlessAlpha.com

If you're one of those guys who reads countless pick-up material yet still has some trouble meeting and seducing women, because of AA or fear of rejection or whatever, this'll fix you up.


Top
   
PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:51 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:35 am
Posts: 48
I heard the only ways to get over the fear of rejection are to either get rejected as many times as possible or detach any meaning from the word rejection. It's actually a made up thing associated with the ego.


Top
   
PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 1:25 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 880
Location: Newcastle
Quote:
I heard the only ways to get over the fear of rejection are to either get rejected as many times as possible or detach any meaning from the word rejection. It's actually a made up thing associated with the ego.
It's hardwired into the brain but it's a program designed for a world which existed a 100,000 years ago. It's about as useful as a phobia of snakes when you live in a city.

Think of being "rejected" as being either a push to improve your approach methodology or a way of filtering girls.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link