Anxiety & Social Pressure



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 5:17 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:53 pm
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Hello guys,

Like a lot of guys, I suffer from approach anxiety. Talking to stragers during daygame simply freaks me out. I get so uncomfortable during a conversation which I then project onto my conversation partner. They then also get uncomfortable and so the conversation becomes very awkward and within 1 minute we split up.

However, I am not without succes. Whenever I'm out with friends I'm up for anything. I don't care about failing. We come up with missions for eachother, like for example my friend picks out a girl, makes up an opener for me and I go in no questions asked. Last time I've been talking to this set with 2 girls and 1 guy for 20 minutes after I opened to one of the girls with ''Hey, can you do a backflip?''. At the end I was unsure how to close and I left with no number or anything, but that doesnt matter because that was the first time I actually lasted more than 5 minutes into a conversation and I was happy about it.

So what I'm trying to say is that I have little to no anxiety when I get a lot of social pressure from my friends, but I practicly freeze during conversations when I go out alone with the intention to practice my game (I've never actually come home satisfied after going out alone). I just can't think of a reason why I can only pracitce my game with friends watching me from 20 meters away.

Do you guys have any tips for me to get my solo-gaming going?


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:15 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 6:46 pm
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You can run your game with your friends because you feel safe around them.
You need to work more on your inner game, big time.
All I can say is go out more often so you'll get a feeling of what people are like. Soon, you'll develop this intuition where you can understand everything going on around you.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:34 pm 
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Quote:
You can run your game with your friends because you feel safe around them.
You need to work more on your inner game, big time.
All I can say is go out more often so you'll get a feeling of what people are like. Soon, you'll develop this intuition where you can understand everything going on around you.
Xoved is right.

I have a similar experience, take what you can from it.
I had a friend in my Junior year of high school who was extremely buff. We started working out and because of him I went from benching 90 to 225. The attention kicked in, other students would just comment, gaze, and grope at my body. Keep in mind a short 5'3 kid weighing 108, and benching double his weight was surprising.
It hit me one day that I was only able to bench that high when my friend was spotting me. When he wasn't, that bar become 50x heavier with my arms as noodles.

Currently I work out at my gym by myself, when alone you're not having someone make sure you don't have setbacks, you have to be realistic, and you have to be confident that you can do what you're about to.

Sarging alone is generally the same, the attention is on you and you're the one who directs the interaction. Just build up on your inner game then go out alone and strike up conversation.
Before you know it it'll be natural but that will never happen as long as you're thinking you're only a certain with around friends. In the end, it's all you.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:42 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 14, 2012 4:29 pm
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I personally prefer to go out by myself a lot. You have to reclaim your social independence. My recommendation is to go out by yourself a lot of keep the expectation low of just exploring and absorbing the social energy and vibe to get yourself use to that stimuli. The thing keeps guys from going out by themselves is the feeling of being seen alone and without anybody with you so you think you're a loser.

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Master Your Social Skills to be the Cool Guy and Get the Girls...


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 11:20 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:47 am
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Location: United States
Here are a few things that worked great for me:

1. Talk to EVERYONE.
This is a great warm-up before the approach. The topic of the conversation doesn't matter. When you get into a chatty mood you are set to go.

2. Focus outward.
Many guys (myself included) tend to be self conscious on approach. That shows. Instead direct your focus toward her and have a genuine interaction. Number close or not, maker her day a little brigher.

3. Change your intent.
If your intent is to sleep with a girl when you have trouble saying hello, that puts a lot of subconscious pressure on you. Instead, find out if she is fun, playful and generally worth having in your phone book.

Hope this helps!
Al


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:17 pm 
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Anxiety create sadness or downswings in mood are normal reactions to life’s struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Exercise regularly at least 30 minutes in a day, eat healthy and clean food, sleep well and keep in touch with your friends and family.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 12:47 pm 
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Anxiety create sadness or downswings in mood are normal reactions to life’s struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Exercise regularly at least 30 minutes in a day, eat healthy and clean food, sleep well and keep in touch with your friends and family.
BefitTacoma Boot Camp


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