Hey guys I have approach anxiety so what I was thinking of doing is just going up to girls I like and just open and then walk away, like just give them a compliment and walk away. By practicing I think this is a good way to overcome AA what do you guys thinks?
As you can see in my forums name, I'm an ex pua. And, now I'm going
to explain to you why I left the game and why you should do the same if
you got stuck in a severe approach anxiety that's getting worse and worse
when trying to overcome it by approaching more and more random women
in a day.
Here're 2 reasons you need to stop beating your approach anxiety:
Understand that your approach anxiety is there to protect you from
getting into any kind of situation that you would not naturally feel comfortable
in and you would simply not enjoy it.
Now let me ask you something.
Have you ever asked yourself that important "Do I really enjoy it?"
question when trying to attract and pick up women?
Asking myself this question was a huge light bulb moment in my life, because
it helped me realize that everything I was doing in the area of attracting and
picking up women for years was purely the result of just acting under the pressure.
I'm talking about the unnecessary pressure of constantly forcing myself into doing
what I didn't really love and enjoy at all. And, the funniest thing in my whole story
is that I was so convinced that picking up and having sex with an endless number
of beautiful women are part of my true passion. I believed so for years.
The following bits of my story might be something that you could relate to when
it comes to feeling the same kind of pressure around meeting women based on
sticking with that old pua advice that you should approach as many women in a
day as possible in order to overcome your approach anxiety.
What made me keep forcing myself to boldly approach random women just to pick
them up and bring them to bed purely as my sexual objects was my initial belief
that doing it was part of my true passion. And, I believed so for years as I just
wrote in here a minute ago.
Guess what. I was wrong.
All my sexual advances that I was constantly forcing myself into was just a pure
obsession that I now like to call my false passion.
My pickup and sex obsession started mainly as the result of peer pressure from my
I got stuck in this obsession for two reasons:
a) I initially didn't fit in the social circles of my peers because I didn't really like most
of their cynical behaviors, and
b) my inner resistance toward the peer pressure grew so much that I gradually got
myself into thinking of creating my international playboy lifestyle that surrounded by
the most beautiful women that I'd have lots of fun and sex with for the rest of my life.
Next comes the second reason why you should stop beating your approach anxiety.
Trying to beat your approach anxiety by getting in the habit of boldly approaching
as many random women in a day as possible is not only a form of validation seeking but
also something that will push you into an endless out-of-control, self destructive and
compulsive sexual behaviors that are characteristic of the behaviors of guys who suffer
from borderline and narcissistic personality disorders.
By the way, I'm neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist but just a guy like you who got
involved in the pickup community to learn the game while never thinking of any mental
health dangers of doing it.
Today I'm proud to say that I have a solid knowledge about the two most common men's
mental heath disorders that come purely as the result of practising the pua game: borderline
personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder.
As you can guess, I got into the trouble of learning about these mental disorders because my
severe approach anxiety (that I'd never ever experienced before) was getting worse and worse
and making me feel so distressed even at the times I was about to just take a short trip to my
local supermarket to buy something that I really felt I was not only losing my mental health but
also losing my whole self at such a fast speed that was out of my control.
In short, my one year long mental health educational journey got me to learn the 3 main
causes of all my pains and struggles linked with being involved in the game:
a) the first thing that got me in the habit of constantly pushing myself to boldly approach random
women in different social situations was my approach anxiety, because my approach anxiety
subconsciously became my main motivational trigger that was making me boldly approach
random women especially in high-risk social situations.
The more approach anxiety I felt, the more encouraged and motivated I was to approach a
random woman no matter what kind of situation she was in and who she was potentially with
at the time.
b) the second thing that got me in the same unhealthy habit of constantly forcing myself to
boldly approach any random woman that I was sexually attracted to was an abnormal sense
of entitlement. I later realized that I'd absorbed this sense of entitlement and got it to become
part of my personality through the process of learning the game since most pua trainers often
teach guys to feel entitled to freely approach any woman they like.
As the result of my mental health research, I learned that one of the main behavioral traits
of the guys who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder is exactly the same kind of
unhealthy sense of entitlement when boldly approaching random women anywhere they go.
c) the self-destructive habit of constantly forcing myself to boldly approach random women
in dangerous, high-risk situations is one of the main behavioral traits of sociopaths and the
guys who suffer from borderline personality disorder.
In short, the most common symptom of the men suffering from borderline personality disorder
is boldly engaging in dangerous life situations. In terms of dating and picking up women, this
refers to any kind of out-of-control, compulsive sexual behavior where a man often stupidly
exposes himself to an unnecessary risk or danger of getting harmed in one way or another,
because he starts to feel guilty if he doesn't take the challenge of getting himself involved
in such situation.
By the way, what I've just shared with you are also the symptoms of sexual addiction.
So, this is exactly how my initial pickup and sex obsession turned into a long-term sexual
addiction with the symptoms of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders.
And, here's the conclusion I got to after I finally got myself out of this whole trouble.
I got stuck in the vicious circle of anxiety-driven, out-of-control, compulsive sexual behaviors
around meeting women for years purely because of my childhood's hurt self-esteem that I
desperately wanted to lift up by sleeping with as many women in my entire lifetime as possible
just to be able to defiantly show off to my peers how sexually powerful and successful with
women I was.
Hope you find this post enlightening and helpful.