I have been going out to malls on my own trying to be social with everyone (Men and Women) and saying hi to strangers. I'm 19 and I've have been socially withdrawn in high school and never had much of a social life until recently because of pick up. But the few years I have spent isolating myself have caused to have a hard time break out of the shell or being the center of attention. Many times with people I find myself being the center of attention because of DHV and positive friendly vibe. But the minute I realize that I have an audience listening and bystanders listening I get self conscious of what I'm saying afraid to mess up or sound lame.Im hoping someone can give me a new frame and lens to look through to be unaffected by the outside world. For example I will sometimes come off as positive with enthusiasm vibe to strangers and as normal they will get a little freaked out but then I calibrate . Sometimes they will still respond with a cold negative front, or they will look at me and just nod no. I live in connecticut and in the northeast we are known for being unfriendly, but I don't want to put that as an excuse. Any new frame I feel a little bad/annoyed when your just simply asking a non sexual conveying question and a girl will just look at you and not answer. By the way I'm an attractive guy so I'm not sure if that's their auto bitch shield that goes up, if so any negs that could work effectively?

Note the way you feel and keeps asking yourself why you feel that way, and why it is so bad to feel that way. Then try and predict what would happen if you felt that way and talked to a really hot girl. Test it out and see how right your prediction really is. Chances are your just focusing to much on the negative, and then that's all you remember from the interactions.

You sound like you're not solid on your inner game.
You've got to let go of this view of being seen in a positive light and realize you produce a friendly, comfortable, secure personality, and if that means being seen negatively so be it, why reshape yourself into someone else's vision?

Think of this. your mind is an artist, your personality is the project. You shape your personality to be what you want it to be until it is the way you want it and when it is finished you put it on display and those who interact with you experience the artwork that is you. Now would you let what someone thinks shatter the artwork that is your personality? No, if they can't accept you, that's too bad.

Also realize people are going to be EVERYWHERE, don't let what people may think divert who you are they're going to think whatever they want regardless.
For an example, earlier today I was having a conversation with a group of friends in my college cafeteria. My friend asks me "What would you rather do, play Ratchet & Clank or have sex?" and while the group is anticipated in my answer I yell out "SEX" and I'm pretty sure the whole cafeteria and their moms heard me. You'll never guess what happened next; Nothing, we all laughed and went on.

Don't be affected by the external factors, handle the external and just keep your internal in check.

You are not confident about your own self and your isolation previously adds to it. Honestly, I'm not a social person too. When there are a lot of people listening me, I used to get cold and will start talking fast and finish the conversation. But later did I understand that nobody is perfect and any person has a lot of problems and weaknesses than I do and the world is FAKING it all. You read that right, everyone is faking. Just learn to fake yourself and you'll gradually lose the shyness.

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Usually when the bitch field is up I find its nothing you did but more of how that girl is feeling on that particular day. Chances are if you're coming through as confident and genuine and she's still being a bitch she's probably having a shitty day or something. Just something I learned on the forums and found it generally applies to most people.

anyone got any opinions on this?

Social shyness is common among many of us. However, it will be reduced when you are moving with the society and speaking in public.

If you really want to reduce your social anxiety the first thing is stop trying to think your way out of it, this strategy doesn't work... it just leads to obsessive thoughts and you go round and around in a circle without making any real progress.

Set yourself a goal, (i.e. improvement of social skills) this goal will be main focus everyday, until you reach it.

Buy a paperback journal and analyze the day before you sleep, and write that shit down, revolve your writing around your goal... Write at then end what your learnt towards you goal during the day and what your going to change the next day.

Start meditating as this will reduce your overall anxiety, 5 mins first day then 10, 15.. until you reach 20 mins everyday.

^^If you really REALLY want to change, do this and I guarantee that you will. If you are half arsed about it then fuck that and come back when you have a better attitude.

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My journal: eyrie-s-journal-to-becoming-the-man-vt148355.html

--If you are not giving, you are not living--

I just got out of a long relationship and I'm noticing a bit of rust and social shyness now. It's so annoying, but hey, it's part of the deal I guess. Especially when going for smoke shows. I'm in Shanghai, and there are lot's of hot chicks there. But, they can be mean sometimes, especially the hottest ones. So I need to take the odd rejection, which definitely happens a fair bit when I'm doing a lot of openers, as a learning experience and laugh it off. When I take failures personally, I feel worse and more approach anxiety in future.

I'm hit and miss with social shyness. Even for talking to guys too, just in a normal day to day situation. I don't know what causes it exactly in my case. Sometimes I'm feeling on point, sometimes I'm not. Doing long hard workouts helps a lot, as does eating well. I find if I'm sitting in front of my computer all day, I'll feel low testosterone levels. Girls notice it, I get rejected more, and it fuels a negative loop of negative thoughts and decreased interest to open sets.

When I'm on my way home from the gym, I feel awesome, and never shy, even if I'm looking all sweaty in my gym clothes. I'll make a lot more aggressive openers then. It's easy to tell yourself you shouldn't care, but it's a biochemical thing so you need to change your physical chemistry I think. There are a lot of natural and healthy ways to do it. Obviously drinking helps, but it is not the long term solution for real pick up because you end up acting less sharp. I get confident from booze, like everyone, but then become a sloppy drunk.

I'm looking for some good supplements now. I'll let you guys know if I find any. I took L-Theanine from Now vitamins and it didn't work great on it's own. It was ok, but I want something better if I can find. I like tribulus terrestris for my workouts. That helps raise my testosterone and confidence.

I'll let you guys know if I find something. I'm going to look again and see what's out there. Have you guys had any luck with supplements? For social shyness I mean. Thanks

Hi everyone,
I'm a new of this forum. Shyness is the major problem of our social area. But we all should remove it and come out from those and need to understand all.

You know there are forums that talk specifically about social anxiety.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/

Just approach as many as you can and never judge your self or the outcome. You MUST fail lots of time to suceed. Every failure WILL make you better and will being more gifts from the universe to your love life.

JUST DO IT