2nd time going out - demotivated!

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 10:52 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:23 pm
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Hi guys,
From yesterday to wednesday I will have 5 days off work (4 of which I can go out), so I figured I'd try and set a rather simple goal, that by the end of wednesday, to have made 1 approach (daytime approach).

Trouble is, I went out yesterday to Birmingham (where I live it's not really too busy, so if I miss a attractive girl I have to wait 10-15 mins to see another one), but my AA kicked in, and I didn't make any approaches, at the end of the day I was getting a bit more into the frame of mind, and each time I didn't make a girl I knew I was more likely to approach the next one, but I didn't make any approaches.

Today I went out again, tried to approach a few more girls, yesterday I saw a girl, considered it for a second but just kept on walking thing "I'll approach the next one", but today I saw some girls thought to myself "3 second rule, 1... 2... 3...", but I didn't once make it to 3, I just kept finding an excuse, like she's too old, she looks like shes proper gobby, she looks like she's really pissed off, she looks like she's really busy, she's got earphones in and so on... I mean, today was better than yesterday. Yesterday, it seemed as if no effort was made at all to approach any girls (sort of, there was a bit of effort, just hard to describe), while today it seemed as if there was a lot more effort.

But though, I was pretty demotivated end of yesterday, really didn't want to go out today, but in the end I got ready and went out, got a 11am(ish?) train, and spent a while in Birmingham. Now I'm back, still having no approaches I just can't get motivated to go out again on Tuesday, never mind trying on Wednesday again... I mean, all I want is to just get 1 approach under my belt, but I honestly don't know how I am going get the motivation to go out Tuesday and Wednesday...

Anyone have any suggestions on how to get enough motivation to keep going out? Me going out and failing to do just 1 approach is really de-motivating, even though with the goal I set myself I've only used up half the time, I just don't want to go out again and achieve nothing.

Also anyone have any tips for getting past AA to do that 1 approach, and how to avoid excuses which would get me from the stage I was at when I went out today to making my first approach after another 8-10 hours of daygame (split between Tuesday and Wednesday)?

PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 11:31 pm 
English Muffin
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Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:40 pm
Posts: 5689
There is nothing we can do for you.

With Motivation and drive...you need to dig inside yourself and unleash it somehow.

Surely, NOT getting laid should be motivation enough?

Your other solution is to pay for some training, even if the instructor is a bad one, but cos you have invested some money on the line and you want to get your money's worth , so you more likely to take action. Then hopefully after the end of the training, you have finally got through that mental block and there is no return to chode land.

I really suggest you do it with other wings too, motivate each other and give both of yourselves some missions for eaxh other to push some comfort zones....Where as on your own, you're more likely to procrastinate.

For me AA was simple. I had a ton of it yes. But without action I won't get laid, simple ss that. That was more motivation than I ever needed.


PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 6:38 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 19, 2013 3:05 pm
Posts: 39
I agree, we can do very little for you.

First of all, 3 second rule? It is good that you are trying to overcome AA but my view is that hb's are in demand! If you count to 3 she could get a call or someone could meet her. This does not sound like your problem. For you the problem seems to be 1...2...3....and... she's gone. I play direct day game a lot and my game centres around the zero second rule: If you see a sexy girl go in immediately. Don't think about anything and rely on your game even if you screw up you are a step closer to being an rafc.

I am going to sound a little douchey but here is a quick anecdote of my first time overcoming AA.
I was in a shopping centre on the second floor. There was a HB at a boutique thing. I went down the escalator and made eye contact immediately. I strode towards her, told her something earnest and true in the spirit of a sasha daygame advocate. It went amazing and I failed but only due to me being under 18 at the time and her being north of 21. Now we joke a lot and there is healthy sexual tension. She knows about the game and is even my pivot every now and then.

My mindset is one most of my friends whom i convinced to join the community have now adopted.

You are being an arsehole if you don't tell a woman who is hot that she is beautiful because you are lying either directly or by omission.

If you cannot do proper approaches try talking to 5 hb's a day. Compliment their clothes or whatever you will actually seem more confidant than the average guy and will often get into a real conversation and get digits. I got a girl into bed after telling her that i loved her kneehighs as they made her look like a sexy schoolgirl. Try this if you cannot pluck up more courage.


Read, deduce, sarge.

PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2013 5:24 am 
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Joined: Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:01 am
Posts: 24
Low risk high reward mentality bro.
Hey man I know what your going through. You should read my advice it will help you.
Step 1: Practice for a week just saying hello and smile to some people that walk past you through out the day . Nothing more nothing less.[unless she starts a conversation with you or it feels spontaneous for you]
Step 2: Repeat step one and then for a week practice starting a conversation with a simple question[best questions for me are ones that are about the environment I'm in. For example, if your in a book store ask her about books.]
Step 3: Repeat step 1 and 2 and then Practice Flirting almost everyday for a week. I'm still not sure how to do this but I think you can learn by watching others and from experience.
Step 4: Repeat all steps above and get the phone number.
Step 5: Practice dating (Be your self, focus on having fun, and go with the flow. Build a romantic connection. Make having this romantic connection your goal with her and sex will be a bi product. Be courageous making the first move to escalate but remember slow and steady wins this race. Keep this in your mind that you should make the first move even if it is small at first because it's very low risk very high reward. I'll let you think about comparing the pro's and con's.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 07, 2013 7:36 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:47 am
Posts: 199
Location: United States
Answer this: What is going through my mind when I see a girl? What is going through my mind when I am approaching a girl?

If you see her yelling at you, slapping you, while people around you are trying their best not to soil their pants from laughing so hard, you are doing it wrong!

If you are to tell yourself a lie, make it a useful one. Like her getting immediately aroused on "Hi" and trying to give you a blowjob on a sidewalk.

The truth of the matter is pushing outside your comfort zone is always a challenge. A right mindset will get you there faster. Get rid of that mud sloshing around your head and replace it with something that inspires you.


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