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| low self esteem or shyness? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=162816 |
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| Author: | Reywal [ Thu May 23, 2013 2:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | low self esteem or shyness? |
Hey guys, I'm actually trying to work on myself before using canned materiels so I can get a better game eventually. I realise few days ago that I might have a social problem disallowing me to improve my skills. I don't know if I have a timidy problem or a low self esteem. Here are some exemples: - I'm not used to talk loudly in public or talk on the phone in public because I feel unconfortable (shy?). - I have difficulty to look people into eyes. - I have problem with abording people and when I do, I'm used to talk not as well as I do when I'm not with a stranger. Exemple; I can have articulation or voice speed problem or as well poorer words than usually. - I always, or almost always, look down on the floor when i'm walking. To sum up, with known people I'm a really good talker but when I reach the limit of my confort zone I'm often paralyzed. Furthermore, this problem is less important with men than women. Thanks a lot, |
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| Author: | In$tinct [ Thu May 23, 2013 11:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: low self esteem or shyness? |
Two words: Newbie mission It has been invented for this exact problem. |
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| Author: | alpha1987 [ Mon May 27, 2013 5:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: low self esteem or shyness? |
you should read : six pilliars of self esteem from Nathaniel branden |
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| Author: | alanwak3 [ Mon May 27, 2013 10:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: low self esteem or shyness? |
I had all these, and got over them. I'd love to show you like, 10 cool tricks to talk louder and hold eye contact better, but what did it for me was inner and outer game. I started seeing myself as someone that holds eye contact, talks loud, and expresses themselves. Then I went out and started doing it, it was slow at first but once you pick up speed it'll do you good. |
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| Author: | Coca1ne [ Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: low self esteem or shyness? |
I used to have the exact same problem (I still do occasionally), so I decided to just adopt the mentality that I was superior to everyone..and believe it or not, it worked. The reason for this - from my point of view - that just like consistently repeating the same lie, you actually believe it gradually over time. As such, I found that after a few weeks of employing this method, I cared a lot less what people thought of me. However, the downsides to this was that you genuinely become so engrossed in the belief that you are indeed 'superior' to everyone else, that it reflects in your behaviour (as it did with me), where my original 'social anxiety' was seemingly replaced by this sheer arrogance. So, it seems the best bet is to find a midpoint (as I've now done), where I now appear confident - not arrogant - as I make sure to listen to what people say, but if they try and knock my self-esteem, they fail because I have this attitude now that only I have the power to put myself down. Good luck man! |
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