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I'm not sure where to post this but since it is one of my anxieties I figure this forum will be as good as any.
I hate confrontations with anyone especially other males. I have been in confrontations recently but I just feel like I've been made a fool. Now I have somewhat deliberately started to avoid them, and it makes me feel bad. I feel like I am not socially calibrated to know how to react, besides acting on my emotions. I am not a menacing dude, I'm 5'5, don't know any martial arts, and never been in a fight; but dont get me wrong I am willing to fight someone if pushed to that extreme but I'd rather not.
What should be done in situations like this? I find it important to include what they look like to make each scenario more realistic.
1. You're at a busy gas station and your patiently waiting for a pump when some asshole comes in and steals it? (he looks pretty buff) How do you handle this?
2. You're playing poker and a drunk idiot(fat) at your table starts taunting you, saying that he's going to take your chips and calls you a bitch. How do you handle this?
3. You're playing in a soccer game and it is the second time this player fouls you hard, you get up infuriated with the referee for not booking him. When you jog back to play this player says, "stop complaining fa***t"(relatively same build as you). How do you handle this?
I just want to get a perspective from others and possibly read or practice material that would make me fear confrontation less. I think this is what makes me self-conscious when I meet new people, I'm afraid of confrontations and being bullied. F that how do I get over it?
I would gladly like to hear suggestions.
Alright, mate, lets talk.
All three of those guys treated you that way because they knew there'd be no consequences. You probably came off as an easy target. Had you stood up to these guys, I don't think they would've backed down. I think that each and every one of them would've beaten the shit out of you, or, at the very least, made you look like even more of a bitch. The main reason they walked over you to begin with was their confidence in their abilities to deal with you in the unlikely event that you stood up for yourself.
How to avoid this? Make yourself an unattractive target. Bulk up a bit. Learn how to fight. Move slower, smoother, and more confidently. Present yourself as someone who can and will hold his own in a confrontation, even though he's not looking for one.
The more unattractive you look as a target, the less these kinds of people will target you. They're not looking for problems, they're looking for pushovers. Present yourself as the former and not the latter.