Welcome to the Newbie level.
The newbie mindset is to continuously have the perspective of “I am awesome” mindset. This mind set is the foundation to pick up. As we grow and level up in our journey of pick we will build up on and stack other mind sets to the “I am awesome” mindset. It is essential to master this mindset for it is essential to have clarity in the direction to your goal of abundance in women.
The significance of the “I am awesome” mindset is that when you start to think in your head and worry, you can stop the doubt by thinking, “None of that matter. I am awesome”.
If it is your first time cold approaching, it will be hard to switch to feeling awesome immediately and continuously. You just need to keep approaching and getting experience until you are comfortable.
- When you’ve practiced enough, eventually it won’t be as scary and you’ll be able to think clearly when approaching strangers.
It’s your choice to decide how to view a scenario.
• Beginners will tend to use the girl’s responses as a measurement of how well the interaction is going.
• The advance guy knows that the one who reacts more will lose the interaction.
So let’s elaborate on the “I am awesome” mindset.
• First let’s review the quote by Shakespeare:
“… for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so …” – Shakespeare
- Shakespeare is trying to say that however you think about a particular scenario is completely up to you.
- You can view anything however you want.
- Example: The scenario of you approaching and the girl is stand offish or not really receptive to your approach.
- Most beginners would identify with her response and since she is not receptive, you view the interaction to suck.
• But, for the more advance guys, they would view it not good or bad but just something you work with.
• Or you can use positive reframe and perceive the girl as shy.
- “Oh! This girl is shy. That’s cute. I’ll get her a little comfortable.”
• No matter what reaction you get from a girl, the goal is not to respond emotionally and reactively.
• In any situation between two people, the one reacting more is the one who cares about it more and is considered as the lower value.
- The lower value one is coming in a scarcity headspace.
• Scarcity (aka: neediness) is something you feel because you feel you don’t have access to lots of girls.
- So what ever her response is will be amplified to the beginner.
- Ex: If the girl says, “Fuck off! Get away!” … It will really really hurt the beginner’s feelings/ego.
- The beginner will completely identify with the girl’s reaction.
• For now you need to get more experience approaching and continuously get punched in the head (metaphorically) until you get comfortable with it and eventually stop identifying with the girl responses.
Extreme Self Love
• Let’s refer to the superficial nightclub.
- First you look around and you notice that everyone is having more fun than you.
- Now the environment starts to overwhelm you and you can’t feel the awesomeness from within. There is loud music, lots of guys to compete with, girls are in groups, and it’s really hard for you to get in that awesome headspace.
• What you need to do is use things that you can control to make you feel good. That one thing you can control is your perspective on things by using positive reframe (aka: Extreme Self Love).
• Again we will refer to Shakespeare’s quote:
“for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so …” – Shakespeare
- So however you perceive a scenario will dictate your thoughts, words, and action in dealing with that scenario.
• So as the environment starts to overwhelm you, immediately cut the negative thoughts and start thinking of a positive reframe to yourself.
- Example: As negative thoughts creeps in, for example it is to loud, you are not drinking and sober, you are tired ... Immediately cut the self doubt and start thinking of a positive reframe … say to yourself, “Dude! You just got paid today. I am awesome” or “Dude, you just cut your nails today. I am awesome.”
• What you want to do over time is to recognize those doubts quicker and quicker and learn to cut them quicker and quicker.
- Ex: As you about to approach a girl. You start self doubting and thinking to yourself, “Oh she probably talked to other guys who are more cooler [cut doubt] ….” Cut the self-doubt and positively reframe it.
- So the first step is to be more aware and self conscious of these self doubts entering your thoughts.
• You are not your thoughts; you are not your emotions.
- Ex: You start thinking to yourself, “I’m sad, I feel sad …”
- Here you are not the sadness, you are just aware of that sadness.
- This is the same when the negative thoughts enter your head.
• So normal people would get the negative thought patterns, and then they dwell on it. They dwell and they reinforce it and a downward spiral of doubt occurs.
- Just simply, don’t let it enter your thoughts and be aware of it and cut it out.
• You want to reach a level where you feel the doubt starting to enter your thoughts and just cut it out before you even know what the thought was about.
- Ex: The negative thought enters your head, “You suc [cut] …”
- You’ve already cut the thought and you don’t even understand what it was.
• The next step is to reframe the thought to, “Why am I awesome?”
• So once you start feeling the doubt, cut it out and replace it with the question, “Why am I awesome?”
- Ex: The club is really, really loud and you know if you approach some girls they will not hear you. Maybe you have already done some approaches and the girls just said to you “What? What? What?” because they can’t hear you. You are not comfortable being loud and you start getting frustrated. But, since we have positive reframe we are able to cut the frustrating thought before it enters our head and then start thinking of the question, “What’s awesome about this?” and “Why am I so awesome?”
- Positive reframe, “Well fuck yeah I am awesome. I am out tonight. At least I am taking action. I’m moving forward in my life goals. Even though it didn’t go well I can learn from it and do better on the next.”
• Another great positive reframe is, “What can I learn from this?”
• There is no win or lose. Yes, it is a win if you get a number or you take her home. But, if the interaction goes bad, ask yourself, “Hmm, what can I learn from this? Well my eye contact was pretty bad. I wasn’t loud enough. She didn’t hear me well. I should have been more obvious with my approach.”
- Through that reframe you are able to learn and the next time learn from your mistakes.
• As long you are moving forward towards your goals you are good. A positive spiral in your mood will be the result.
• I repeat the positive reframe will be the foundation in developing your game and overall your happiness in life.
- Happiness in life is your ability to always look at something in a positive point of view. Either you learn from it or you take it and turn it to something to laugh at and enjoy.
- I believe the saddest people are the ones who have the most because they see they have all of these superficial things but they still feel bad.
- The opposite are people with nothing and they are blissfully and ignorantly happy.
• What creates this situation? It is your standard or criteria for happiness to decide how you feel. Having low criteria for happiness will help you see things in a positive point of view.
• What not to do are to use superficial values, like the woman’s values or mainstream values you see in the media as your values and criteria to dictate how happy you are.
- Ex: Let say you are unemployed, “Oh I am unemployed I don’t have the values to offer her.”
- Of course, if you identify with mainstream media values, that is correct.
- For me I do not want to live by those values.
- Let’s go deeper in our inner game, and this is where you ask, “What do I actually want in life?”
• “What do I actually want in life?” Once you have developed concrete standards or concrete goals of what you want in life, then you can filter you perspective of certain scenarios through your goals and positively reframe your perspective of how you are moving towards your goals.
- Examples of my goals:
1. Abundance of women.
2. Living healthy.
3. Financial freedom.
• As long you have your values, you filter your actions through those values. Now you are moving towards them and you will feel good.
• Example of how to use this mindset
- You approach a girl and you ignore her reaction because you can either learn from it or it goes well and you get a positive reference experience. Now you are moving towards your goal of having more women in your life.
- Let say you go to the fridge to grab a bite and you see a pizza slice, left over Chinese, and a salad. You chose the salad. As you reach for the salad you think to yourself, “Fuck right I’m eating a salad. Health! Health! Six pack.”
- Let say someone spills a drink on you. “Fuck right my shirt got a stain. I’ma fucking rock this stain on my shirt and be fucking awesome. Fuck right I am awesome.”
• Lower your criteria for what pumps you up. Most people dwell on the things they don’t have. When they have the negative thought and they try to interact with others, the interaction turns to go bad. Others will sense your stress and people do not want to associate with you.
- This will also hold you back from thinking clearly to moving forward to your life goals.
• What to do after reading this article:
1. Write down what do you want out of life.
- Pick 3 to 5 goals.
2. Start thinking about them all the time.
- Think about them at the beginning and at the end of your day
- Start viewing your actions if it is moving forward or away from your goals.
3. Start viewing everything you do through out your day as something to pump your state up.
- Remember to lower your criteria of what is awesome to you.