Need Help with a double life!



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:42 am 
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So, to begin with, i have 2 groups of friends.
The first group are all either shorter or are my height and its mixed between male and female. they are all around my age and I can find it reasonably easy to get into an alpha male situation. We go to bars and i find it much easier to talk to girls and be the centre of a room. I feel confident and unafraid to open a set.

My second group of friends are all older, and taller than me. (around 6'4, im 6'0) They are all male and for some reason when i go and hang out with them i seem to crawl into this shell and become, not so much shy, but i just cant think of stuff to talk to when girls come around. I cant think of any humorous things to say or make any snappy comebacks and am always awaiting their approval before doing something daring. In other words. I act like a total AFC.

I love hanging out with both groups of friends. and group #2 are mostly up for going out. However i hate being the guy left clutching at straws after all my friends have picked up. I guess you could say im an unnatural in a group of naturals.

How can i get over this anxiety? i hate not only not scoring, but not enjoying myself when i go out.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 2:55 am 
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Location: MI
It sounds like in your second group of friends you are getting out alpha'd. You being the shortest, youngest and the quietest is lowering your value in the group. It also sounds like you may be intimidated by them so you are naturally being put into that role.

I personally would want to be somewhere and with people I felt comfortable around. I don't know your situation, but you could always try and introduce them to each other.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 3:06 am 
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You aren't going to get anywhere if you are hanging out with them and feeling shy and uncomfortable. I would suggest hanging out with your other group of friends.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:59 am 
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WOW. The exact same thing is happening with me. I moved to a new city a year ago and the people I hang with now are all guys and are all older than me and total players. And I always feel weak when girls get involved when I'm hanging with them. And feel like an AFC and I hate that!

But at my old place I had two best friends and the three of us always hung out together with some girls, invited them over to watch a movie or something and what do you know! they were both shorter than me and I felt really witty and confident around girls when we were together. I feel confident and unafraid to open a set.

And I love talking to chicks but like I say i feel nervous here at the new place but nevertheless i love to hang out with the guys.

This post from K-C is like i had wrote it myself!


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:19 pm 
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Its actually a bit different for me, with my usual group of friends I cant open up at all. My mind goes blank and my balls crawl up into my stomach (not literally or course) it's really bad. But when Im hanging out with the other group which has some naturals in it, I get competitive and try and do better than them and I wouldnt say I succeced since Im still at par and not beyond. But I do however atleast open up when Im with them.

I dont know why it's like that and it bugs me because when I go out with my regular friends it's not fun anymore since nobody pics up and we usually have 2 girls with us (group of 4-5 depending, 2-2 or 2/3 respectively) so theoretically it should make it easier.

If you dont want to be that shy young kid go out and show them that you can be a funny open guy and they'll start introducing you to more girls and if you still cant do that simply ask one of the better naturals to find a set of girls and ask if he can wing for you.


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