AA: My Story.



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 Post subject: AA: My Story.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 3:47 am 
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Hello, I hope by the end of this post, many of you will understand that having AA is normal, no matter how much it is, and it can be controlled, and defeated. My whole life I have been biting my nails, over eating, under eating, and hiding in my room because of the special word, Anxiety. I don't have normal anxiety, I have lots. I use to get approach anxiety just thinking of going to the bathroom, to take a dump, and now I have literarily none. I still get them occasionally for other reasons, like taking a dump,(Kidding) but I really don't get them with women anymore. And I'm going to tell you how.

Step One
Root of the Anxiety
It's good to find out where your anxiety is coming from, and get to the bottom of it. For example, what scared me from approaching women, wasn't
really rejection. In fact, there is no greater rejection in life then rejecting yourself from having what you want, and succeeding.
My fear was acceptance. I know what you are thinking, why would you be afraid of being accepted by society?

I Deserve It
One of my main fears of being accepted by society was the thought that, I don't Deserve it. I don't deserve that hot blonde, I don't deserve
to have fun, I don't deserve to be successful, I don't deserve being respected, I don't I don't I don't!
These thoughts turned me into the nice guy. Why? Because If I don't deserve anything in life, I'm not important. If I'm not important
then let me make the life of those people who are important, as pleasant as possible. Let me be a fan. Let me be a follower. In return,
when I would get a second to evaluate what I want in life, my body would get scared. My hands would shake, my heart would beat, because
I had been programmed to not be important. My brain says "What? You want to be important now? I don't think so nice guy."

What is nice?
I wasn't a nice guy. I was being unimportant. Nice people are important. Oprah gives out cars on her show, she is important. Tom Cruise signs an autograph, important. A pick up artist teaching men how to pick up girls, important. All important people, all doing nice things. What was I doing?
telling a girl I like her smile? Wow your gorgeous? Hey :). How is your day? What is so nice about that? What have I given these people
that had a great effect in their lifes, for me to be known as a nice guy? Nothing. I was being unimportant.

The Difference between what you hear, and what it is
Girls would say I'm a nice guy, because in their mind, a nice guy doesn't try to get in their pants. They have been programmed to think so.
But in reality, is that the case? if I met a pretty girl, did I not want to be with her? Of course I did. So even their idea of a nice guy, was not true.
I told my first girlfriend she was beautiful on our first date, and she laughed in my face. She cheated on me that night. That night was the first day we we're together. I threatened to kick the guy who she cheated on with's ass, and she called me back that night, and now it makes sense to me.
She cheated on someone unimportant, and that unimportant guy became important for just one second. What uttered out my mouth after on the phone?
*Cry Cry* Why did you do this to me? (keep in mind we we're together one day) She hung up on me.
Now I know, her thought was "Oh wait he' still unimportant".

This was my anxiety, not fear of rejection.

Becoming Important
You want to be a nice guy, great. You want to do nice things, great. But you must be important to do so! This is what changed me into the man I am today, and I am not even complete. I'm still learning and growing every day. The first day I actually noticed how important I am was when I finally stopped judging myself. I said Fuck it, I may look like this, talk like this, act like this, live like this, and all these things happened to me,
but let me judge the people who are doing better then me for a second.
I spent a whole week looking at people full of confidence do their thing, and be happier then me. I noticed something. I noticed they aren't me.
I noticed things about me that we're better than them. I noticed how important I am.
I became important.

Step Two
What is a bad person?
After I became Important, I realized girls I was a completely dick with we're telling me "You know, I know you have a big heart." I would think to myself, what why? How? when I was nice, nobody ever told me that before. Then I examined what I said to her. Not one thing that came out of my mouth, was truly bad. I mistook words of importance, and guidance, as overly cocky, and dick remarks, but it wasn't. Sure I threw in some negs here and there, but there was a connection I never had before. She trusted me, with her life.

Patterns
After approaching women after women, I still would become emotionally involved, and feel panic whenever I was rejected. Now I said to myself, okay, I'm important, why am I still feeling fright? I began to think of the singers on American Idol for some reason, and how scared they we're in their first audition, and how confident they we're in their final performances, and I noticed a pattern. Every time they came out and got on stage, they knew one thing was going to happen, and that one thing was, sing. All they had to do was sing. Sure it's scary, sure you get a sick feeling in your stomach, but not anxiety that stops your performance. What I learned was, they became familiar with the pattern, this reduced the fear completely. I was missing the pattern of what I was doing. I was approaching, but I did not notice a pattern. I treated every approach like a spontaneous event, expecting everything to happen. So I made my life easier, and said, what I do is approach a girl, and try to connect with them. What is going to happen? The pattern, they say no, they walk away, a guy comes in and says back off, OR, I connect with them, and I meet a lovely girl or two. What am I afraid of? What if a guy comes and takes out a gun and aims it at my head for approaching these women? Well, if that happened, I would just say don't kill me and walk away, and if he did then I have the worst luck in the world, but what if the president goes and performs his speech and a guy comes out with a gun and shoots him? What is he not going to give his speech? It's his job, his duty.
What if the girl laughs at me, and every one around me starts laughing? Then I will tolerate laughter for a minute and walk myself out of the situation. I began going over these things in my head, and finally came to the conclusion, that the only thing that stops me is me.

Girls appreciate your effort
Once I learned I'm only stopping myself, I noticed I took rejection pretty well, and my anxiety was gone completely. I was important, and I wasn't in my own way. I began taking rejection very well, I even learned to telegraph how much I'm okay with it, in a way where a girl said no, and I instantly pouted my lips in a joking way, and she squeezed my arm a few times as I passed her on the dance floor. I new I could open her up again that night if I wanted, and gotten a dance, but I didn't want too. I was too busy dancing with a prettier girl.

Anxiety was your problem, not theirs
Believe it or not, it's a game. Don't expect by getting over your fear of approaching you won the battle and you deserve every girl out there. They appreciate that you approach them, but they don't care. There is a difference. Imagine a scenario, you are in a club surrounded by girls, and most of the guys are against the wall scared. You are the only guy that approaches that girl, and she says no. Don't think "WHAT? No other guy is going to dance with you, why are you rejecting me? Look I'm the only one approaching you, BOOM look how high my value is." See how stupid that sounds? Girls are very good at knowing how to walk away, and when girls say they wouldn't be with a guy if he was the last guy on earth, THEY MEAN IT.
Just because a girl rejects you, it doesn't mean you can't get them, but just don't be out raged by their decision.

Don't react, best advice.
I recently have been studying dianetics, and one thing stood out to me, that I knew I have been doing it and it has been jeopardizing my game with women. In Dianetics, it says do not re-act Negatively. Such as, a girl rejects you, don't say YOU FUCKING CUNT GO FUCK YOURSELF!. Don't.
I never would say that, but I would re-act negatively whenever a girl would turn me down to boost my own ego. Not all the time, just naturally sometimes. Ever since I decided not to re-act, my anxiety went down even lower, because now I know if a girl rejects me, I won't embarrass myself in the whole room. For example, in a club I went to dance with a chick and she pushed me away. My initional reaction was going to be "Bitch do not push me I will smack you in the face" Which would have resulted in probably another guy coming in and trying to be a hero and a fight breaking out or something. But I just smiled, and said "Okay?" and entered another set next to me. It truly did not bother me. Because I know they are gaming. Now I know there could have been ways of me still being able to get her, but my game isn't perfect right now, what you will get from this post isn't perfect game. It's how I got rid of my approach anxiety, and how it could help you.
In conclusion, I learned that if I knew that no matter what hit me, I would re-act positively to it, all would end good.

Example.
Tyler Durden Fight club.
Guys come into the club, and tell him to leave. The guy eventually starts hitting tyler, and tyler says "Keep Hitting me" and doesn't even hit him back. Now I'm not saying jump on the girl and drip all your blood on her face and say "I LOVE THIS PLACE! WE REALLY WANT THIS PLACE PLEASE LET US KEEP THIS CLUB PLEAS!" lol, but I'm saying, always re-act in a way where no matter how much they hit you, do not forget who you are, and do not break down, or retaliate.


Hope this helps
These are some of my stories, and the lessons I have learned with them. If you think they might help you, feel free to use any of the tips. Message me if you have any questions, and don't forget, Don't stand in your own WAY!


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