Anyone who recognizes my (minimal) posts will know I've been an AFC for around 8 years. Have had some successes here and there but it’s not consistent. This is potentially a premature story as I’ve not reached the end with this girl yet. Nevertheless, its bloody reassuring for guys that are stuck in the dreaded friend zone.

My story:

8 years ago I met a 10, and started strong (lots of Kino, though never actually had the balls to go in for the kiss). Naturally I became her gay best friend. Shoot me in the face please.
Long story short, she moves back to her country and we see each other maybe once a year but with virtually no escalation.

She gets married, and then divorced.

Earlier this month she was back here and we met up, by this point I basically didn't care what happened and somehow I managed to bag a k-close by the end of the night. This brings me to a key theme of the bastard that is the friend zone.

Stop caring so much (you’ll end up over-thinking) and just assume that if she’s out with you, it’s ON. Don’t mess about with too many negs/disqualifiers… basically just state your intent and move forward as quickly as possible. The chances are that if she’s still meeting you after you’ve stated sexual intent, then she’s thought about, and is open to, kissing you.

Also its worth noting that during this 8 year spate, on one occasion I was SO AFC that I think I remember having an argument with her (over some trivial sh1t disguising the real argument of why I couldn’t grab a pair and move in), and actually unfriended on facebook… can’t remember how or why I got her back on it.

Moving on to the part where I need some advice..

Potential concerns:
1) She never initiates a text first, but is very receptive when I do message her (around every 4-7 days).
Guessing this is because she’s a 10 and her phone is always buzzing with other guys.
Is this an appropriate amount of messaging/does anyone think I should text more or less often?
2) She actually asked me over text if I wanted to come to see her in another country while she’s there for her sister’s wedding. A) I don’t know if this means she wants me to be her date for the actual event and b) is it advisable to up and travel a thousand miles after having only kissed her a few times on one night?

3) It’s hard to tell how sexual to be over SMS. She’s from a conservative background but has mentioned watching 50 shades of grey etc.. (Apparently we can’t watch it together as it’s a bit too “bold” for a first date haha). This (together with other examples) makes me think that she’s definitely thought about sex, though is too conservative to actually type the words. If I sense this is happening I usually reply with something cocky funny and switch track, moving away from the topic.

This post is badly written, so apologies. Tried to scramble 8 years of interaction into a one-pager, so the reader probably won’t understand the dynamics of our relationship.
Aside from the potential concerns i'm not really sure what i'm asking for here... guess I need some assurances that i'm playing well and will bag the queen in a few more moves.. Also any experiences of 10s from conservative backgrounds in the far east would be awesome.

Thanks v much, sorry if this was a boring read.

This is a very needy, Oneitus , friendzone, entitlement issues situation all into one. It's like you couldn't do anymore wrong.

I will keep it simple. Assume she likes you, ask her out for a private drink, grab your balls and make a bold move on her and then lead to the bedroom.

One text, Meet then escalate. Thats all there is to it. Don't be a wuss this time around

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Thanks for the words.

Yeah I get what you mean and that is certainly the way i managed to get the K close.

The fcuking Long distance thing is a b1tch though, I basically can't escalate without going to india for a few days in december.

Would you go if you were asked bro?

Now it's transpired that she Indian. Is she Indian herself? You think there could be some cultural issue? Sex after marriage bull shit? Is this how she got originally married? What nationality are you?

lol No dude, I would not travel to India for a meet up that I don't even know if it's a date or not. But I have an abundant mindset where as yours is too scarce that makes Jesus want to cry.

I don't get the feeling that you have bitten the bullet when it comes to your love life. Read my sig thread below.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

LOL.

it gets worse mate. She's not Indian but fully middle-eastern, though is a bit of a jet setter and grew up all over the world.

It gets even worse - i'm Indian and therefore cultural differences are even more exacerbated... basically I want to be the "affair from London".

Don't think she's too conservative to not have sex before marriage... e.g. she brought up her watching 50 shades of grey while messaging me..

She's actually pretty liberal... talked about walking through Amsterdam's red light district etc.

I basically think she could be DTF if as you say, I escalate properly... though I'm not sure packing my bags and going to see her is escalating properly (i.e. the whole reason I built enough attraction to kiss her was that I acted fairly aloof in the weeks preceding the k close)... by getting on a plane that's pretty much the opposite of aloof isn't it?


questions/comments/reality checks all useful. thanks again for the response.

Your whole post history is of this one particular girl, this quite scares me:
It's like you are obsessed with her, it also shows you don't respect yourself that much if you let her fuck with your head like this, look at this crap:

miscellaneous/topic153447.html

Man up. Grab your love life by the balls. You should learn to let this girl go. It's detrimental for you to grow, please read my sig thread

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

You really, really, really need to take what you've learned here (you know you've handled this poorly - I don't get why you're still thinking of pressing forward) and diversify.

Forget this waste of time even exists and start discovering other women as soon as possible.

I understand why you think that.

That other post is about a different girl though bro...

but yes I am prone to getting one-itis.