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Scared of getting oneitis with girlfriend
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Author:  XLR8R [ Sat May 11, 2013 4:45 am ]
Post subject:  Scared of getting oneitis with girlfriend
This has been bothering me some time, so I thought I should ask for advice.

Started dating a HB8 in my uni a few weeks ago. Great girl, and shes fun to be around. However, Im just scared shitless of getting too emotionally attached to her.

She invests alot more than I do (calls me once a day just to check up on me) and admitted she is in love with me (shes not the kind of woman that dates at random, so she feels its pretty serious between us.) On the other hand, Im just so afraid my game is going to suffer if I go into an LTR with this girl. Havent gamed another girl since I met her (I want to, but its hard to do at uni if Im dating a girl there, people talk...)

What should I do? Im going overseas in a year or so but still havent told her (afraid it will ruin chances of sleeping with her, which should be done by next week) but I know I have to tell her eventually. Shes been hurt in the past and Im worried this will emotionally destroy her, as she is in love with me and said Im the only person she trusts. But as of now, Im more worried about oneitis.

Problems everywhere :P
Author:  Betamax [ Sat May 11, 2013 4:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Scared of getting oneitis with girlfriend
Quote:
Shes been hurt in the past and Im worried this will emotionally destroy her, as she is in love with me and said Im the only person she trusts. But as of now, Im more worried about oneitis.
Obviously she's invested way more than you have. It's unfair to her to keep your emotions on lock down. You shouldn't be afraid to get oneitis because she appears dedicated to you. If you're afraid of oneitis because you're afraid of getting hurt, your fears are unfounded. If you're afraid of oneitis because you want to keep dating around, then you need to tell her you're not looking for a LTR.
Author:  XLR8R [ Sat May 11, 2013 5:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Scared of getting oneitis with girlfriend
Appreciate the fast reply Betamax

I honestly dont know why it freaks me out. Maybe its because Ill be leaving within a year and dont want to build an emotional connection with somebody then have to break it off. I think this is my biggest fear.

Im thinking of going out and partying like crazy this summer without her. I stay at a friends place for a few months way out of town and we go to parties and festivals almost every day, so its the ultimate pussy fest. However, my conscious might stop me doing it, just because I could get oneitis with her

What do you think? Should I GFTOW?
Author:  Betamax [ Sat May 11, 2013 5:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Scared of getting oneitis with girlfriend
It's not like you HAVE to move in a year. Or it's not like she won't want to follow you. There are so many solutions to your problem, besides the fact you have a full year to think about it. Since she trusts you so much, it's only fair you tell her about your plans and how you feel ASAP, and why you're afraid of committing. I strongly doubt she'll just break it off. At this point she appears to be too dedicated to turn the other way and leave you hanging. She'll also be relieved to understand what's been going on with you, and possibly work with you to find solutions.

I wouldn't GFTOW... You already have a commitment to your girlfriend and it's not like she's not giving you what you want... Besides sex, for now.
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