PUA Forum :: Am I cheating?!

This epiphany hit me like a bag of bricks. Our society has moved past dating into this sort of "Insta-relationship" mode (there's a caveat here, I'll touch on in a moment). At what point did everyone decide that it was an AMAZING idea to meet someone, find each other mutually attractive, then become bf/gf?

NEWSFLASH, citizens, you don't know that person...Even if you've been best friends for years, you still don't know them in the capacity of dating. Go out. Feel out the spark and if you REALLY THINK you like her enough to be in a relationship with her, simultaneously date a few other women (at least one or two). This allows you to judge your interest without being worried of losing someone to date. And you can compare notes on them and see who does what better and what's acceptable and not.

The Caveat - We jump into bed with people we're dating WAY too fast. Do I do it too? HELL YES. I can only think of one girl I slept with a few months after dating and part of that was virginity and distance that kept things slow.

The girl I'm dating right now is an old friend. I used to have a thing for her, but was way to AFC and not masculine enough. We got together a few years later to hang out and I projected myself as a sexual creature. She bit and sought out the sex. Before we fucked or even dated, we talked about not wanting an instant relationship and just wanting to date.

THIS, is what you should do!

You can avoid these situations in the future by being honest and upfront about your intentions BEFORE you sleep with women.

Your boy,
870

Quote:

You're confused. And you're trying too hard in your post.

Now, you're the kind of guy who's giving more negative votes than positive and without any sort of rationale behind that too.

So, I want to see how you handle your own medicine.

I'm far from confused and going overboard on Neg points because you're Beta is really sad. I gave you a negative vote of 1 because your comment earlier is ignorant. You come in here putting me in the negative because you have a need to show something. HA!

Quote:

Actually, you're the idiot here.

At no point in your post, you told him in as many words that "You're not cheating" assuming that was your view. You come in and spout random nonsense and frankly, if you had such an 'epiphany' there's a section devoted just to discussion of these things. You should look that up for your future posts.

Calling me a "Beta" will make you feel happy about yourself but you seem to forget the main objective behind my vote. Someone needs to show you what your place is. I don't have a problem with getting negative votes, but I do have an issue with people issuing votes without any explanation or relation to my post. I replied in two lines, maybe three and none of that was connected to you. As I see it, the reply I made is for the person who posted this to deem it worthy or unworthy. Not some guy who is losing his marbles.

What you are trying is to show that you 'know' something, but you don't.

Author:	ReversalUk [ Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Am I cheating?!
Hey guys, I'll be honest I haven't been on these forums and maybe become a bit more on an afc again however recently I have gotten back into thinking about pua and approaching girls more and enjoying it. At the moment im seeing a girl who I met a couple of months ago. To be honest we don't have much in common and although we go out for drinks and things it's more of a sex thing for me rther than a relationship. I think that she however is hoping that it's more than that and is obviously really into me. An old friend of mine from uni who has always had a thing for me has just moved to Manchester and we arranged to go out on a date on Wednesday however I do feel slightly guilty as though I'm cheating or something? To be honest I don't know if I wnt relationships with either of these girls but I guess I have to go out with them to see if I do? Should I just keep things casual with both girls and not mention anything to either of them?

Author:	MynameisFisher [ Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:
Have you fucked the first girl already? If you have then you should have a talk about that you don't want anything serious for now. If you haven't then it is really nothing to talk about yet I think. Just keep it cool and casual. Best scenario: you end up with 2 fuckbuddies. Worst scenario: you end up with two women probably angry with you but since you didn't want anything serious I don't think it would be a big loss now would it? Still I suggest you to first decide what you want before you make a move and play according to that.

Author:	ReversalUk [ Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah we have fucked quite a few times now, I do agree that I need to talk to her and let her know I don't want anything serious. Cheers dude

Author:	870 [ Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:
You can avoid these situations in the future by being honest and upfront about your intentions BEFORE you sleep with women. Your boy, 870

Author:	$uave [ Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:
if you're asking this question-chances are you have. Doesn't matter what you did, what matters is how you feel about it.

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Author:	ReversalUk [ Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah I guess you guys are right, what it was is for a couple of months I became quite depressed and down so didnt really see any girls and then this girl comes along and asks me out which really turned me on for some reason. We casually went out and had drinks etc n of course ended up having sex and I guess I liked the attention. It all went quiet for a bit then and we agreed to meet up and agreed to just have fun with it rather than anything serious and Im starting to realise were not meant to be a couple. The other girl who has now moved closer to me from my old uni I have dated a bit in the past and I duno I just want to see if there is a spark there now but would feel like a complete tool messing them both around as I enjoy playing the "game" but not stringing girls along. Cheers for the advice

Author:	Don Draper [ Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:28 am ]
Post subject:
Basically, what you're saying is that you used the first girl to get out of that low place in your life and now that you're back on high ground and feeling good, you are bored with her and want move on to brighter things. Bravo.

Author:	The Designer [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 3:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Dating...where hast thou gone
This epiphany hit me like a bag of bricks. Our society has moved past dating into this sort of "Insta-relationship" mode (there's a caveat here, I'll touch on in a moment). At what point did everyone decide that it was an AMAZING idea to meet someone, find each other mutually attractive, then become bf/gf? NEWSFLASH, citizens, you don't know that person...Even if you've been best friends for years, you still don't know them in the capacity of dating. Go out. Feel out the spark and if you REALLY THINK you like her enough to be in a relationship with her, simultaneously date a few other women (at least one or two). This allows you to judge your interest without being worried of losing someone to date. And you can compare notes on them and see who does what better and what's acceptable and not. The Caveat - We jump into bed with people we're dating WAY too fast. Do I do it too? HELL YES. I can only think of one girl I slept with a few months after dating and part of that was virginity and distance that kept things slow. The girl I'm dating right now is an old friend. I used to have a thing for her, but was way to AFC and not masculine enough. We got together a few years later to hang out and I projected myself as a sexual creature. She bit and sought out the sex. Before we fucked or even dated, we talked about not wanting an instant relationship and just wanting to date. THIS, is what you should do!

Author:	Don Draper [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating...where hast thou gone
Quote: This epiphany hit me like a bag of bricks. Our society has moved past dating into this sort of "Insta-relationship" mode (there's a caveat here, I'll touch on in a moment). At what point did everyone decide that it was an AMAZING idea to meet someone, find each other mutually attractive, then become bf/gf? NEWSFLASH, citizens, you don't know that person...Even if you've been best friends for years, you still don't know them in the capacity of dating. Go out. Feel out the spark and if you REALLY THINK you like her enough to be in a relationship with her, simultaneously date a few other women (at least one or two). This allows you to judge your interest without being worried of losing someone to date. And you can compare notes on them and see who does what better and what's acceptable and not. The Caveat - We jump into bed with people we're dating WAY too fast. Do I do it too? HELL YES. I can only think of one girl I slept with a few months after dating and part of that was virginity and distance that kept things slow. The girl I'm dating right now is an old friend. I used to have a thing for her, but was way to AFC and not masculine enough. We got together a few years later to hang out and I projected myself as a sexual creature. She bit and sought out the sex. Before we fucked or even dated, we talked about not wanting an instant relationship and just wanting to date. THIS, is what you should do! You're confused. And you're trying too hard in your post. Now, you're the kind of guy who's giving more negative votes than positive and without any sort of rationale behind that too. So, I want to see how you handle your own medicine.

Author:	bluecheer [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You can avoid these situations in the future by being honest and upfront about your intentions BEFORE you sleep with women. Your boy, 870 Totally true man, I was sleeping with a girl for around a year and I'd also told her that I didn't want anything serious an I'd still be technically "single" while we were together but after three or four fucks she was in love. I had to break it off completely and it left her a nervous wreck and it made me feel like the fucking devil so I couldn't even begin to imagine how bad it would make a girl feel if she was genuinly into you and didn't realise your intentions. Be good to her and let her go, women might fuck us around, but they don't mean it, it's learned behaviour simply because they are the weaker sex and have been kept down horrifically for hundreds if not thousands of years by men, it's like little man syndrome on a massive scale. Cut her off and move on. Next time, as the fella above said, just be honest in the first instance. Best of luck mate

Author:	marlinfisher [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:
LOL once again we come to a situation where following the covenants of the game would have really helped you. Make sure you do not give false expectations and be very clear where you are coming from. We are afraid that all women want to nest and don't want the casual relationship. But if you are honest with her she will respect you even more because most guys she knows hide their true intentions.

Author:	The Designer [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating...where hast thou gone
Quote: Quote: This epiphany hit me like a bag of bricks. Our society has moved past dating into this sort of "Insta-relationship" mode (there's a caveat here, I'll touch on in a moment). At what point did everyone decide that it was an AMAZING idea to meet someone, find each other mutually attractive, then become bf/gf? NEWSFLASH, citizens, you don't know that person...Even if you've been best friends for years, you still don't know them in the capacity of dating. Go out. Feel out the spark and if you REALLY THINK you like her enough to be in a relationship with her, simultaneously date a few other women (at least one or two). This allows you to judge your interest without being worried of losing someone to date. And you can compare notes on them and see who does what better and what's acceptable and not. The Caveat - We jump into bed with people we're dating WAY too fast. Do I do it too? HELL YES. I can only think of one girl I slept with a few months after dating and part of that was virginity and distance that kept things slow. The girl I'm dating right now is an old friend. I used to have a thing for her, but was way to AFC and not masculine enough. We got together a few years later to hang out and I projected myself as a sexual creature. She bit and sought out the sex. Before we fucked or even dated, we talked about not wanting an instant relationship and just wanting to date. THIS, is what you should do! You're confused. And you're trying too hard in your post. Now, you're the kind of guy who's giving more negative votes than positive and without any sort of rationale behind that too. So, I want to see how you handle your own medicine. I'm far from confused and going overboard on Neg points because you're Beta is really sad. I gave you a negative vote of 1 because your comment earlier is ignorant. You come in here putting me in the negative because you have a need to show something. HA! I'm not trying at all...Just explaining what IS.

Author:	thealphalifestyle [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:11 pm ]
Post subject:
LOL no your not cheating

Author:	Don Draper [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating...where hast thou gone
Quote: I'm far from confused and going overboard on Neg points because you're Beta is really sad. I gave you a negative vote of 1 because your comment earlier is ignorant. You come in here putting me in the negative because you have a need to show something. HA! Actually, you're the idiot here. At no point in your post, you told him in as many words that "You're not cheating" assuming that was your view. You come in and spout random nonsense and frankly, if you had such an 'epiphany' there's a section devoted just to discussion of these things. You should look that up for your future posts. Calling me a "Beta" will make you feel happy about yourself but you seem to forget the main objective behind my vote. Someone needs to show you what your place is. I don't have a problem with getting negative votes, but I do have an issue with people issuing votes without any explanation or relation to my post. I replied in two lines, maybe three and none of that was connected to you. As I see it, the reply I made is for the person who posted this to deem it worthy or unworthy. Not some guy who is losing his marbles. What you are trying is to show that you 'know' something, but you don't.

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Author:	The Designer [ Thu Aug 18, 2011 7:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dating...where hast thou gone
Quote: Quote: I'm far from confused and going overboard on Neg points because you're Beta is really sad. I gave you a negative vote of 1 because your comment earlier is ignorant. You come in here putting me in the negative because you have a need to show something. HA! Actually, you're the idiot here. At no point in your post, you told him in as many words that "You're not cheating" assuming that was your view. You come in and spout random nonsense and frankly, if you had such an 'epiphany' there's a section devoted just to discussion of these things. You should look that up for your future posts. Calling me a "Beta" will make you feel happy about yourself but you seem to forget the main objective behind my vote. Someone needs to show you what your place is. I don't have a problem with getting negative votes, but I do have an issue with people issuing votes without any explanation or relation to my post. I replied in two lines, maybe three and none of that was connected to you. As I see it, the reply I made is for the person who posted this to deem it worthy or unworthy. Not some guy who is losing his marbles. What you are trying is to show that you 'know' something, but you don't. I could spend the next few days breaking down everyone of your attempts to "put me in my place", but frankly, I don't need to stoop down to your level. I issued you a negative vote because your comment was dumb and pointless. For a newb, it gives the wrong impression. And there are hundreds of them reading these posts everyday. You've successfully put yourself in a place of weakness with your insecure behavior. Only insecure people need to "prove" their power and position by exercising it ignorantly. Good luck with that.