Quote: @OP, let me give an example. Last night I went with a group to an informal Sake tasting hosted by a US based distribution consultant who reps one of Japans well known and esteemed breweries. The guy (we'll call him MJ) was one of those divorced mid-life crisis guys who are stuck in what I call Paranoid Alpha mode perminantly. I mean he just couldn't turn it off, to the point where it was a little irritating to the group and the wait staff that was taking care of us at the resturaunt. Me being an more confident Alpha knew it was up to me to control the situation so everyone could enjoy themselves. Here's how it went down.
We come in and sit down and he starts barking at the wait staff to bring more appropriate glasses for the tasting. The guy was quite condescending and rude to the barely english speaking asian waitress. Instead of sitting sideline to a train wreck that would result in spit on food for all of us I said to him "I know the staff here, i'll take care of it". I didn't know shit, but I know how to work a situation.
After some smooth talking and a little snide snip at MJ's expense I had a couple of the cute asian waitresses giggling and bringing us brandy and small white wine glasses. MJ: "oh perfect, I was getting worried there, very good - thank you" (1up for me.)
After he started rattling on about sake facts, which were actually quite interesting, I noticed him eyeing up my date a lot more than any of the other girls at the table (I had the hottest date, to be expected). So I challenged him on a few facts that I know a thing or two about, just to show he wasn't the only one there that knew anything about the subject. MJ: "you seem to know quite a bit, that's refreshing. very good, Let's get started" (1up for me)
He carried on, and continued blaytantly hitting on my girl. Now it's tradition in Japan to have someone else pour your Sake for you, and you always raise your glass from the table during. This guy was pouring his own glasses right on the table. I figured he knew better, but from probably dealing with many people who don't know anything about Sake culture in the US he most likely just didn't care. So I called him out on it tactfully by offering to pour HIS sake for him. he stumbled but then smiled and said "ah yes, how forgetful of me. Thank you" (neg him, 1up for me)
And so on, you all get the point. It was a 3 hour event, and I never once acknowledged his advances, never showed any sign of feeling threatened and never gave the upper hand. By the end the whole table was asking me questions and centering conversation around me instead of him as he was so desperately grasping for. He realized his place. He definately had way too much rich snob grooming in him, but when it became clear he was not the top dog in the group he fell in line and relaxed a bit. He even offered to come back and bring our group more premium Sake and cook us an authentic Japanese dinner to pair with some of the higher end Sakes. In the end, he was a pretty cool dude.
Instead of cowering to him in the begining and letting him ruin the event for everyone, he was put in his place. There was no need for fighting, no scuffle, no immature dramma, just good ol'fashioned smooth dominance. Now I have a pleasant aquaintence and connection into the Sake world I love so much.
When we got home I got a very sexy thank you for making the evening so much fun, and a follow up this morning.
Case and point. When you think about beta, you become beta. When you think about alpha so much that you act foolish, you are beta. When you don't give a shit about alpha becase you know you will always be the alpha, you are alpha.
Fantastic example of Alpha behavior!
You stayed in control of yourself, you took care of your group, and the problem guy ended up calmly submitting to your leadership.
That's what Alpha's do.
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. I don't know maybe that's too profound for 90% of the community 
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