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| When Being Who You Are Challenges The Norm. https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=95854 |
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| Author: | Tom_"Maybe" [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | When Being Who You Are Challenges The Norm. |
Tonight I'm going to ask from you guys (and girls) to stop thinking about methods and tactics for a half hour or so, and start thinking about who you are. And more importantly, who you are that makes you different from the women, or men you come in contact with on a daily basis. I'm on the chat room frequently, and I notice many people asking for advice on there, and it almost seems like with all the canned and pre-planned conversations they've lost all ability to rely on themselves to get creative and conjure up anything good worth saying and communicating with the person of their interest. So like I said....this is a social exercise, and I'd think we'd all benefit from learning from each other how to appreciate our differences...and find ways to use them in conversation that'll lead to productive conversational fruitage. I believe in shaking up the way things are done. Often we’re stuck in a rut of doing things a certain way, because that’s the way everyone else does things, because that’s how it’s always done. Because it’s safe. But the normal way of doing things is often not the only way, nor the best way. Bloodletting and leeches were once the normal way of treating most illnesses until smart people started questioning the practice. Women for a long time were kept out of the workplace because they were thought to be too weak or emotional for many jobs. What if you could shake things up … just by being who you are? Without having to do anything but tell someone who or what you are? It turns out, that’s often been the case in my life. I will just mildly tell people who or what I am, and they start getting defensive, even if I haven’t actually attacked anything they do. People assume I’m judging them, just because I do things differently. They’re wrong — I don’t judge what others do, but rather just try to live my life consciously, and conscientiously. I often fail, but in the attempt is everything. Here are just a few examples from my life: 1. Minimalist. This is probably one of the biggest thing I do that gets a reaction from people. They’ll talk about how they live with very little, or how they want to get rid of clutter, or ask me how they can be minimalist with kids. These are good discussions. We need to start talking about why we own so much, why we buy so much (not just physical stuff, but apps and digital content), why we’ve become consumers instead of just simply living. 2. Car-free. Almost a year ago, I gave up my car. I've been slowly cutting back on car usage anyway, but finally giving up a car was liberating. Most people don’t understand this — they see the car as a symbol of freedom, of convenience, without realizing just how much we’ve been chained to cars, just how inconvenient it is for us individually and of course as a society. People often don’t know what to make of someone who voluntarily lives without a car. 3. Unschooler. As some of you may know...I live with my brother, his wife, and his 2 children. Not because I'm a free-loader, but because my brother and I have always been close and we plan on keeping it that way. But one thing my brother, his wife and I do is collectively homeschool his children, and that makes us weird. Even though compulsory schooling as we know it has only been widespread for a little over a century, and for most of human history, the majority of children were educated at home and somehow their parents found a way to deal with the socialization issue. Parents who send their kids to school get defensive when I talk about unschooling, which is a radical branch of homeschooling that throws the normal model of school (teachers dispensing knowledge to students who memorize it) out the window. We believe their kids should learn how to teach themselves, as many of us learned to do as adults. We don’t believe anyone can create a curriculum of knowledge that will prepare his kids for a future that can’t be predicted, for a workforce that is rapidly changing. Instead, they should learn how to figure things out for themselves, to solve problems, to work on their own without being directed. They’re the entrepreneurs of tomorrow. 4. Goal-free. I’ve talked in this forum about the radical notion of giving up goals, though it’s thousands of years old. But the idea of goals is incredibly ingrained in our society (myself included), that people think I’m weird for even suggesting you can live an amazing life of achievement without goals. As if goals were the only reason to do something great. 5. Socialist. It wasn’t that long ago (less than a century) when you could say you’re a socialist and not be too weird. George Orwell, Bertrand Russell, Vonnegut, Einstein, Steinbeck, Hemingway, Jack London … were all socialists of one sort or another. Now it’s seen as against the “American Way of Life”. I’m a socialist. I’m not for state-run socialism, but would consider myself more of a mutualist or a (peaceful) anarchist. I have to add “peaceful” because people assume anarchists want to bomb things, while I don’t believe in violence or the violent overthrow of governments. I believe we have given the corporations too much power over our lives and our society, that they’ve turned us into consumerist machines, and that we should have the freedom to run our own lives, and take the power back from the corporation by being self-reliant. That probably brings up more questions than it answers, but the questions are good things to have during interaction with a to be lover. 6. Pick-Up Artist. Just telling women I practice the art of pick-up will cause all kinds of interesting reactions. Often people will start to talk about how they were shy in high school and wished for an outlet, or how they don't see how seduction can be titled art. Or they'll say that it's un-natural to turn socialization into a science. I don’t mind any of this. Instantly, people are giving more thought to these questions than they ever have in the past. As for myself, the reasons are simple: I do it out of compassion for living, feeling, suffering beings who are treated as objects in our society. And all this world needs is more outward expressions of love...and I live everyday with the motto : "Show love to someone new today." And trust me...many people in the pick-up community think that telling a girl you've strategically gamed them is relationship suicide...but I promise you....it'll make one hell of a conversation. None of these things defines me, but they are all a part of who I am. They all challenge the norm in some way, bring up questions and discussion that otherwise might not occur, and I believe those are necessary questions and discussions needed to effectively talk to people about yourself and be reliant on your own mind (not systematic routines) to attract women. So how do you break free from the norm? |
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| Author: | trixsta [ Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: When Being Who You Are Challenges The Norm. |
[quote="Tom_"Maybe""]1. Minimalist. This is probably one of the biggest thing I do that gets a reaction from people. They’ll talk about how they live with very little, or how they want to get rid of clutter, or ask me how they can be minimalist with kids. These are good discussions. We need to start talking about why we own so much, why we buy so much (not just physical stuff, but apps and digital content), why we’ve become consumers instead of just simply living. I agree. Loads of people buy things they don't need or even want. I don't have that much stuff compared to most people, I have nice clothes and nice things like a laptop on which to write this but I don't just spend my money on junk. I prefer holidays. 2. Car-free. Almost a year ago, I gave up my car. I've been slowly cutting back on car usage anyway, but finally giving up a car was liberating. Most people don’t understand this — they see the car as a symbol of freedom, of convenience, without realizing just how much we’ve been chained to cars, just how inconvenient it is for us individually and of course as a society. People often don’t know what to make of someone who voluntarily lives without a car. I also don't have a car. But to say it is liberating is dumb. As long as you're not dependent on it for everything like that two minute walk to the shop, having a car gives you more freedom. If I move to London after my degree, I won't have a car - I won't really need it. It will be a luxury I might decide to buy if I really would use it. Having said that, I am still in the process of getting a drivers' license. 3. Unschooler. As some of you may know...I live with my brother, his wife, and his 2 children. Not because I'm a free-loader, but because my brother and I have always been close and we plan on keeping it that way. But one thing my brother, his wife and I do is collectively homeschool his children, and that makes us weird. Even though compulsory schooling as we know it has only been widespread for a little over a century, and for most of human history, the majority of children were educated at home and somehow their parents found a way to deal with the socialization issue. Parents who send their kids to school get defensive when I talk about unschooling, which is a radical branch of homeschooling that throws the normal model of school (teachers dispensing knowledge to students who memorize it) out the window. We believe their kids should learn how to teach themselves, as many of us learned to do as adults. We don’t believe anyone can create a curriculum of knowledge that will prepare his kids for a future that can’t be predicted, for a workforce that is rapidly changing. Instead, they should learn how to figure things out for themselves, to solve problems, to work on their own without being directed. They’re the entrepreneurs of tomorrow. I think that by not sending kids to school it does them more harm than good. They're missing out on the social experience side of it and because of my schooling I know how to deal with bullies and other kinds of slimey people. Plus I doubt you two can teach them better than the government. You could still teach them what you want, as well as letting them go to school. 4. Goal-free. I’ve talked in this forum about the radical notion of giving up goals, though it’s thousands of years old. But the idea of goals is incredibly ingrained in our society (myself included), that people think I’m weird for even suggesting you can live an amazing life of achievement without goals. As if goals were the only reason to do something great. People don't just dream of doing great things and then do them. George Stephenson didn't one day just invent the train. 5. Socialist. It wasn’t that long ago (less than a century) when you could say you’re a socialist and not be too weird. George Orwell, Bertrand Russell, Vonnegut, Einstein, Steinbeck, Hemingway, Jack London … were all socialists of one sort or another. Now it’s seen as against the “American Way of Life”. I’m a socialist. I’m not for state-run socialism, but would consider myself more of a mutualist or a (peaceful) anarchist. I have to add “peaceful” because people assume anarchists want to bomb things, while I don’t believe in violence or the violent overthrow of governments. I believe we have given the corporations too much power over our lives and our society, that they’ve turned us into consumerist machines, and that we should have the freedom to run our own lives, and take the power back from the corporation by being self-reliant. That probably brings up more questions than it answers, but the questions are good things to have during interaction with a to be lover. Loads of people are socialist. 6. Pick-Up Artist. Just telling women I practice the art of pick-up will cause all kinds of interesting reactions. Often people will start to talk about how they were shy in high school and wished for an outlet, or how they don't see how seduction can be titled art. Or they'll say that it's un-natural to turn socialization into a science. I don’t mind any of this. Instantly, people are giving more thought to these questions than they ever have in the past. As for myself, the reasons are simple: I do it out of compassion for living, feeling, suffering beings who are treated as objects in our society. And all this world needs is more outward expressions of love...and I live everyday with the motto : "Show love to someone new today." And trust me...many people in the pick-up community think that telling a girl you've strategically gamed them is relationship suicide...but I promise you....it'll make one hell of a conversation. Not really that different, just adding a label to loads of stuff that already existed anyway. None of these things defines me, but they are all a part of who I am. They all challenge the norm in some way, bring up questions and discussion that otherwise might not occur, and I believe those are necessary questions and discussions needed to effectively talk to people about yourself and be reliant on your own mind (not systematic routines) to attract women. So how do you break free from the norm? Why is breaking free from the norm a good thing? [/quote] Replies in bold.[/b] |
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| Author: | BoxerSpirit [ Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | interesting |
Regardless whether I agree with your views or not, I respect the fact that you have not just followed the norm, but instead has decided to live a life of your own. I like the fact you've got the cahona's to be honest, and that you can appreciate a good conversation! without feeling the need to attack other people, that you can accept critisism as interesting. A read a quote a while back which stated, not in these exact words "a mans intelligence can be measured in how many different views and opinions he can take on at once" you'd be an interesting person to talk to. |
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