PUA Forum :: Emotional Intelligence

Emotional competencies are not innate talents, but rather learned capabilities that must be worked on and developed to achieve inner game. It is this type of intelligence rather than IQ that is correlated with effective communication skills and leadership of others. IQ is about cognitive ability and changes little over a lifetime but EI develops.

"The one thing that runs through everything in the really strong leaders is learning agility. Out of 67 competencies that have been identified in great leaders there are two that most strongly predict performance and potential….. One is drive for results. Then it's about learning, your willingness and ability to develop new competencies in order to deal with novel tussles. People who are really good at this learning agility stuff are willing to look and feel stupid. They're willing to experiment, which often involves looking and feeling stupid, because when you experiment you sometimes get it wrong.”

EI is a prerequisite for effective leaders and PUAs across borders. It requires a high level of self-mastery and people skills; ability to put yourself into the positions of others. The most important element in a PUA is not the IQ, but emotional intelligence. The further you go, the more EI matters--the more SOCIAL COMPETENCE matters.

A PUA needs to develop:

Self Awareness
Self Management
Social Awareness (Empathy)
Social Skills
Team Leadership

Self Awareness

- Emotional awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects (use of journals, identify emotional red flags)

- Undertake Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits (self reflection)

- Develop Self-confidence: Sureness about one’s self-worth and capabilities (monitor your self talk)

Until we understand how we feel and can accurately assess our emotional state, we will understand emotions from only an intellectual point of view. We need to be able to understand emotions at a gut level—what is going on with us. Accurate self-assessment includes understanding our own strengths and weaknesses and being willing to explore them both on our own and with others.

Self management

Building on the emotional understanding we gain with self-awareness, we use self-management to manage and guide our emotional state. Self-management is the ability to control our emotions so they don’t control us.

- Avoid sarcasm, angry tirades, door slamming, immaturity.... Look for the triggers. Reflect on: Who is it? Why is it? Desensitize yourself from others moods. Don’t take things personally.

Social Awareness

- Empathy is a critical skill for PUAs of all types and is the ability to understand and relate to the feelings of others; to put ourselves in their shoes.

- Situational awareness is the ability to interpret the context for emotions in a given situation.

- Seeing others clearly is the ability to accurately assess and understand others. As PUAs, it is important that we are able to understand and interpret the emotions, desires, wants and needs of women.

- Emotional boundaries help us to understand where we end and where others begin, we are more likely to speak up and say no when we should, and take responsibility for our emotions.

- Understanding the verbal and nonverbal communications of different women.

Leadership

- leadership is focused on the emotional skills needed to effectively show leadership when necessary. This includes communications, conflict management, decision making and inspiration.

--------------PUAs need to be great communicators--------------------------------

- determine your goals
- understand your own emotions
- approach others
- listen and respond to the emotions of others, and not only to the content of what they say
- share your own emotions when appropriate, being as open and honest as possible
- check for understanding and reactions
- Naturally (be yourself)
- Make sure you can be heard
- Enunciate clearly
- Vary the pitch and pace (sometimes pausing is more powerful than speaking)
- Be aware of your personal appearance, your posture, facial expressions and gestures. Audiences are generally impressed with:
- Enthusiasm
- Energy
- Sincerity
-You can display these qualities by:
- Standing tall
- Smiling
- Being confident
- Establishing eye contact
- Gesturing appropriately
- Enjoying the experience

- The most common complaints from women which cause misunderstanding (and/or boredom) can be summarised as follows:

- Distracting and not direct
- Blabbering on
- Vocal pitched too high or too low
- Vocal pace
- Failure to captivate their attention
- Information overload
- Lack of enthusiasm
- Lack of rapport with woman

---------------------------------------------------------------

Overall

Emotional Intelligence will help you:
- Develop REAL and meaningful relationships
- Anticipate and avoid emotional breakdowns
- Deal with difficult situations and manage conflict/drama
- Leverage emotional information to make better decisions
- Communicate more effectively
- Create a positive vibe
- Cast a vision that will attract women into your life

Author:	The_Boss_ [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:35 am ]
Post subject:	Emotional Intelligence
Emotional competencies are not innate talents, but rather learned capabilities that must be worked on and developed to achieve inner game. It is this type of intelligence rather than IQ that is correlated with effective communication skills and leadership of others. IQ is about cognitive ability and changes little over a lifetime but EI develops. "The one thing that runs through everything in the really strong leaders is learning agility. Out of 67 competencies that have been identified in great leaders there are two that most strongly predict performance and potential….. One is drive for results. Then it's about learning, your willingness and ability to develop new competencies in order to deal with novel tussles. People who are really good at this learning agility stuff are willing to look and feel stupid. They're willing to experiment, which often involves looking and feeling stupid, because when you experiment you sometimes get it wrong.” EI is a prerequisite for effective leaders and PUAs across borders. It requires a high level of self-mastery and people skills; ability to put yourself into the positions of others. The most important element in a PUA is not the IQ, but emotional intelligence. The further you go, the more EI matters--the more SOCIAL COMPETENCE matters. A PUA needs to develop: Self Awareness Self Management Social Awareness (Empathy) Social Skills Team Leadership Self Awareness - Emotional awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects (use of journals, identify emotional red flags) - Undertake Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits (self reflection) - Develop Self-confidence: Sureness about one’s self-worth and capabilities (monitor your self talk) Until we understand how we feel and can accurately assess our emotional state, we will understand emotions from only an intellectual point of view. We need to be able to understand emotions at a gut level—what is going on with us. Accurate self-assessment includes understanding our own strengths and weaknesses and being willing to explore them both on our own and with others. Self management Building on the emotional understanding we gain with self-awareness, we use self-management to manage and guide our emotional state. Self-management is the ability to control our emotions so they don’t control us. - Avoid sarcasm, angry tirades, door slamming, immaturity.... Look for the triggers. Reflect on: Who is it? Why is it? Desensitize yourself from others moods. Don’t take things personally. Social Awareness - Empathy is a critical skill for PUAs of all types and is the ability to understand and relate to the feelings of others; to put ourselves in their shoes. - Situational awareness is the ability to interpret the context for emotions in a given situation. - Seeing others clearly is the ability to accurately assess and understand others. As PUAs, it is important that we are able to understand and interpret the emotions, desires, wants and needs of women. - Emotional boundaries help us to understand where we end and where others begin, we are more likely to speak up and say no when we should, and take responsibility for our emotions. - Understanding the verbal and nonverbal communications of different women. Leadership - leadership is focused on the emotional skills needed to effectively show leadership when necessary. This includes communications, conflict management, decision making and inspiration. --------------PUAs need to be great communicators-------------------------------- - determine your goals - understand your own emotions - approach others - listen and respond to the emotions of others, and not only to the content of what they say - share your own emotions when appropriate, being as open and honest as possible - check for understanding and reactions - Naturally (be yourself) - Make sure you can be heard - Enunciate clearly - Vary the pitch and pace (sometimes pausing is more powerful than speaking) - Be aware of your personal appearance, your posture, facial expressions and gestures. Audiences are generally impressed with: - Enthusiasm - Energy - Sincerity -You can display these qualities by: - Standing tall - Smiling - Being confident - Establishing eye contact - Gesturing appropriately - Enjoying the experience - The most common complaints from women which cause misunderstanding (and/or boredom) can be summarised as follows: - Distracting and not direct - Blabbering on - Vocal pitched too high or too low - Vocal pace - Failure to captivate their attention - Information overload - Lack of enthusiasm - Lack of rapport with woman --------------------------------------------------------------- Overall Emotional Intelligence will help you: - Develop REAL and meaningful relationships - Anticipate and avoid emotional breakdowns - Deal with difficult situations and manage conflict/drama - Leverage emotional information to make better decisions - Communicate more effectively - Create a positive vibe - Cast a vision that will attract women into your life

Author:	Fin [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 4:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Emotional Intelligence
Quote: Emotional competencies are not innate talents, but rather learned capabilities that must be worked on and developed to achieve inner game. It is this type of intelligence rather than IQ that is correlated with effective communication skills and leadership of others. IQ is about cognitive ability and changes little over a lifetime but EI develops. "The one thing that runs through everything in the really strong leaders is learning agility. Out of 67 competencies that have been identified in great leaders there are two that most strongly predict performance and potential….. One is drive for results. Then it's about learning, your willingness and ability to develop new competencies in order to deal with novel tussles. People who are really good at this learning agility stuff are willing to look and feel stupid. They're willing to experiment, which often involves looking and feeling stupid, because when you experiment you sometimes get it wrong.” EI is a prerequisite for effective leaders and PUAs across borders. It requires a high level of self-mastery and people skills; ability to put yourself into the positions of others. The most important element in a PUA is not the IQ, but emotional intelligence. The further you go, the more EI matters--the more SOCIAL COMPETENCE matters. A PUA needs to develop: Self Awareness Self Management Social Awareness (Empathy) Social Skills Team Leadership Self Awareness - Emotional awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects (use of journals, identify emotional red flags) - Undertake Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits (self reflection) - Develop Self-confidence: Sureness about one’s self-worth and capabilities (monitor your self talk) Until we understand how we feel and can accurately assess our emotional state, we will understand emotions from only an intellectual point of view. We need to be able to understand emotions at a gut level—what is going on with us. Accurate self-assessment includes understanding our own strengths and weaknesses and being willing to explore them both on our own and with others. Self management Building on the emotional understanding we gain with self-awareness, we use self-management to manage and guide our emotional state. Self-management is the ability to control our emotions so they don’t control us. - Avoid sarcasm, angry tirades, door slamming, immaturity.... Look for the triggers. Reflect on: Who is it? Why is it? Desensitize yourself from others moods. Don’t take things personally. Social Awareness - Empathy is a critical skill for PUAs of all types and is the ability to understand and relate to the feelings of others; to put ourselves in their shoes. - Situational awareness is the ability to interpret the context for emotions in a given situation. - Seeing others clearly is the ability to accurately assess and understand others. As PUAs, it is important that we are able to understand and interpret the emotions, desires, wants and needs of women. - Emotional boundaries help us to understand where we end and where others begin, we are more likely to speak up and say no when we should, and take responsibility for our emotions. - Understanding the verbal and nonverbal communications of different women. Leadership - leadership is focused on the emotional skills needed to effectively show leadership when necessary. This includes communications, conflict management, decision making and inspiration. --------------PUAs need to be great communicators-------------------------------- - determine your goals - understand your own emotions - approach others - listen and respond to the emotions of others, and not only to the content of what they say - share your own emotions when appropriate, being as open and honest as possible - check for understanding and reactions - Naturally (be yourself) - Make sure you can be heard - Enunciate clearly - Vary the pitch and pace (sometimes pausing is more powerful than speaking) - Be aware of your personal appearance, your posture, facial expressions and gestures. Audiences are generally impressed with: - Enthusiasm - Energy - Sincerity -You can display these qualities by: - Standing tall - Smiling - Being confident - Establishing eye contact - Gesturing appropriately - Enjoying the experience - The most common complaints from women which cause misunderstanding (and/or boredom) can be summarised as follows: - Distracting and not direct - Blabbering on - Vocal pitched too high or too low - Vocal pace - Failure to captivate their attention - Information overload - Lack of enthusiasm - Lack of rapport with woman --------------------------------------------------------------- Overall Emotional Intelligence will help you: - Develop REAL and meaningful relationships - Anticipate and avoid emotional breakdowns - Deal with difficult situations and manage conflict/drama - Leverage emotional information to make better decisions - Communicate more effectively - Create a positive vibe - Cast a vision that will attract women into your life I take it you've been reading Daniel Goleman?

Author:	Jav [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:04 pm ]
Post subject:
Besides fin's comment, What's your own experience with what you call 'emotional intellegence'?

Author:	The_Boss_ [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Besides fin's comment, What's your own experience with what you call 'emotional intellegence'? Ive been the leader of a research team for the past 3 months, thats where my learning and experience of EI came from. It has a lot to do with pick up. Any interaction or social experience can require EI so its worthwhile understanding.

Author:	The_Boss_ [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 10:09 pm ]
Post subject:
Also... I live with 4 girls. I need EI everyday just to understand and deal with their drama day in day out. Real character building stuff

PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Emotional Intelligence https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=94069	Page 1 of 1

Author:	The_Boss_ [ Sat Jun 18, 2011 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Besides fin's comment, What's your own experience with what you call 'emotional intellegence'? and now that ive see your other posts I realise this was nothing other than you trying to act like an internet tough guy. please stay out of my threads from now on mate youre irritating.

Author:	Mr. Stinson [ Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Besides fin's comment, What's your own experience with what you call 'emotional intellegence'? and now that ive see your other posts I realise this was nothing other than you trying to act like an internet tough guy. please stay out of my threads from now on mate youre irritating. no hes trying to see how legitimate you are, all you did was copy and paste a page worth of information which any numb nuts can do.. he wants you to explain how ei helped YOUR game. this forum is basically a collection of other peoples first hand experiences so you can learn from their mistakes before they happen to you. if it ISNT a first hand experience then it is cited (ex chief and his post on Shock and Awe)

Author:	thekidd [ Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Good stuff right here. Definitely going into my personal notes, thanks for putting this up man!

Author:	trixsta [ Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:00 am ]
Post subject:
What Jav is trying to get at is how this is personal or relevant. As has already been said, anyone can find some copypasta and post it up here. If I wanted to, I could search PUA forums, find something that's a decent read and post it up here and play Armchair PUA. It's not personal and in some cases it isn't even helpful. Reading another article on AA is not going to get you over your AA.

Author:	The_Boss_ [ Sun Jun 19, 2011 1:55 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: What Jav is trying to get at is how this is personal or relevant. As has already been said, anyone can find some copypasta and post it up here. If I wanted to, I could search PUA forums, find something that's a decent read and post it up here and play Armchair PUA. It's not personal and in some cases it isn't even helpful. Reading another article on AA is not going to get you over your AA. Well im sure if you read this you will find it helpful, if not then ok its not for you. Jav is just some deluded idiot who thinks its all a contest on this forum and is trying his hardest to be mature and become a mod, which is extremely annoying so I just ignore it now. I have suggested he reads this to get over it and grow up ways-the-seduction-community-can-make-y ... 10652.html This isnt my original concept, so what?. It relates to pickup and is very useful so I summarized it to help people if they want to read it, because it helped me. Im not here to come up with the next original marketing PUA scheme to rip people off, thats just sad and pathetic. Im here to improve myself. In the process ill share stuff if I think its worthwhile.

Author:	The_Boss_ [ Sun Jun 19, 2011 1:56 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Good stuff right here. Definitely going into my personal notes, thanks for putting this up man! I dig it too. Glad to hear mate

Author:	Fin [ Sun Jun 19, 2011 1:16 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Jav is just some deluded idiot who thinks its all a contest on this forum and is trying his hardest to be mature and become a mod, HAHAHA! I don't think you quite know Jav as well as you think you do, while he can be quite frustrating if he's chosen to mess with you, the idea that Jav is a hyper-competitive male looking to become a mod and show his maturity... well you're walking in the wrong direction. ---- In other words, relax, you copy and pasted some text and didn't cite it, you'll know better next time. Thankfuly you fucked up on PUAF and not in an academic paper, that would of been painful!

Author:	The_Boss_ [ Sun Jun 19, 2011 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Jav is just some deluded idiot who thinks its all a contest on this forum and is trying his hardest to be mature and become a mod, HAHAHA! I don't think you quite know Jav as well as you think you do, while he can be quite frustrating if he's chosen to mess with you, the idea that Jav is a hyper-competitive male looking to become a mod and show his maturity... well you're walking in the wrong direction. ---- In other words, relax, you copy and pasted some text and didn't cite it, you'll know better next time. Thankfuly you fucked up on PUAF and not in an academic paper, that would of been painful! "tom gone wild" or "Tomzors" LOL at both of them is just some kid that shits me off. Fin, how did i fuck up? what would I know better next time out? I did exactly what I wanted to do lol. Why would this be an academic paper :s

Author:	Chief [ Sun Jun 19, 2011 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Fin, how did i fuck up? what would I know better next time out? I did exactly what I wanted to do lol. Why would this be an academic paper :s You could use some more IQ and probably more EQ as well. Mr. Stintson already told you how you fucked up in very explicit terms. This is an official warning. You have violated Forum Rule #3 (No illegal shit) for infringing on copyrighted material with absolutely no citations or link to any original source, posting this material, which just so happens to be not your own damn work, under nothing but your own forum username while failing to credit any original author. This particular warning may very well lead to additional actions from a collective discussion by the moderator team. In addition, any actions taken by you, The_Boss_/The Jando Method, from now on that can be interpreted as flaming or trolling may very well lead to an immediate and permanent suspension of your account and banning of all of your several IP addresses from this website.

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