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Im working on my "alphaness" but have hit a snag.
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Author:  #1 Jish [ Sat Jun 11, 2011 11:46 am ]
Post subject:  Im working on my "alphaness" but have hit a snag.
Basically Ill try and be accurate so that your answers can be efficient. and ild appreciate people replying that actually Know something about what I'm talking about.

Lately I've been trying to be more alpha. But I really don't know what it means. Basically I want to become a person when people see me they have that "instant respect" for me and don't try to give me shit. When I refer to shit I mean in a joking manner with your mates but almost "testing" you to see how you respond. It appears if you respond in the wrong way, like I do the amount of "shit" they give you increases It appears that I clearly can not deal with it in an efficient manner.

Its hard to write this post without it oozing out AFCness but I wouldn't say I'm AFC, ild say im just in the middle not the alpha male and not a beta if that makes sense. I mean I get along with nearly every person that I meet and I have alot of friends.

So recently when people have been giving me shit. I have been raging up getting somewhat aggressive in an attempt to put an end to it but all this has done is make come across as an arrogant dick.

So what is an efficient way to respond so I don't keep becoming a shit magnet?
Author:  davedavis [ Sat Jun 11, 2011 8:46 pm ]
Post subject:  know what you mean
First of all, get into martial arts/boxing and go to the gym, this will make you naturally more confident in yourself and you will begin to hold yourself in a more alpha "dont fuck with me way"

As for what to do, If someone says something you dont like, pretend you generally dont here, say what was that, and just as theyre about to reply, stare confidently right at them, if they still say it, just go, thats wierd man, and cut them out.

This sounds extreme, but It wont mean going around being the big bad bully, just at the right time showing you wont avoid trouble if it comes to you
Author:  Diego1234567 [ Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
If people are joking around with you, joke back.

Diffuse with humour

Example: "you're gay"
"okay but im on top"


Just laugh with it, its not always a struggle or testing, its just joking around a lot of the time. If its really that much trouble just laugh a little and shake your head to yourself as if to say "what a terrible joke" or "its funny only because its so bad". This sets a frame that the joke they made was low wit and because jokes are only funny if someone laughs they are less likely to make more jokes. Or even just think you're cool cos you can take a joke.


How about cutting them out of your social circle too, it doesnt have to be drastic but basically if someone doesnt live up to YOUR standards of what you accept as a friend then basically ignore them when they dont live up to your standards BUT MAKE sure to give good feedback when they are being nice. Dont inviite them out, dont invite them to switch to a new pub or wherever you go, make them feel left out of the group so they either:

a)stop putting up shit and join in and be nice.
b)hang around but feel left out and dont get to have fun.
c)They leave and you dont have them around anymore.


Another way is to simply tell them to cut it out. Just be casual about it like "dude, what are you doing, just chill out and have fun. No ones here to give each other shit.".

THE most important thing though is to remember the 2 most common solutions are;


just laughing it off either normally or with a slight 'disapproving' headshake, like he's embarrassing himself.

or


Cutting them out of your friendship, whether it be just you responding to them or the ENTIRE group. If you're good enough friends just say "hey guys, dont invite him out. he's a bit weird" or "i hate that kid, i literally hate him but invite him out anyway. its cool".

they'll respond "really? you okay with that?" so you respond with "well only if you really want him but i think we can have a better night. ive got some plans ;)" (note, if you wanna be the alpha then have some plans and ways to make a good night everytime)
Author:  AFC Royal [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Start respecting yourself.
Author:  jurupa [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Grow a thinker skin will help and the ability to laugh at your self will help as well. Guys throw shit at you because they know it will effect you.
Author:  Influx [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Read:
"How to be an alpha male" by John Alexander
Author:  #1 Jish [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
First of all, get into martial arts/boxing and go to the gym, this will make you naturally more confident in yourself and you will begin to hold yourself in a more alpha "dont fuck with me way"
Yes of course!,I used to be fit & healthy and lost it along with some confidence, I always talk about getting back into it, time to do it!
Quote:
If people are joking around with you, joke back.

Diffuse with humour

Example: "you're gay"
"okay but im on top"


Just laugh with it, its not always a struggle or testing, its just joking around a lot of the time. If its really that much trouble just laugh a little and shake your head to yourself as if to say "what a terrible joke" or "its funny only because its so bad". This sets a frame that the joke they made was low wit and because jokes are only funny if someone laughs they are less likely to make more jokes. Or even just think you're cool cos you can take a joke.

Your right its not always a struggle or testing, it is joking I just take it to heart. I like the idea of humour ill have to incorporate that into my responses instead of looking like i believe what they say
Quote:
Start respecting yourself.
Yep, your right on the money
Quote:
Grow a thinker skin will help and the ability to laugh at your self will help as well. Guys throw shit at you because they know it will effect you.
Yes, Yes and Yes! its the growing a thicker skin part I need to work on, i never thought of laughing at myself, i guess because i always felt like it was a personal attack, and they tell me to my face they do it because I get emotional about it, even though I didn't think I did
Quote:
Read:
"How to be an alpha male" by John Alexander
Onto it man thanks for that
Author:  LyricalDream [ Mon Jun 13, 2011 2:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Best advice ever:
Stop reading bullshit books and get out there.

A good tip to grow into physique element is do some sports. Train, train and train. However if you are not really a sports like, like me, then just go out.

There are a lot of things I have learned .. amongst them is going is vital. People that are 'instantly' respected - need to build that respect. Be sure to make yourself seen. Be social and talk to a lot of people. The more you do that, the better!

Also - watch in your evironment to guys that are 'socially dominant'. A lot of them have a good body posture but even more just have strong body language.Try to analyse it and then use the same.. you'll notice a big difference.

≠ LD
Author:  jurupa [ Tue Jun 14, 2011 8:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Yes, Yes and Yes! its the growing a thicker skin part I need to work on, i never thought of laughing at myself, i guess because i always felt like it was a personal attack, and they tell me to my face they do it because I get emotional about it, even though I didn't think I did
The trick is to not take it as a personal attack but as a joke.
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