PUA Forum :: Arguments: A Female Perspective

When You Want to Make Up

Remember, she wants to be mad once in a while. If it's a minor fight and she throws a hissy fit, do not apologize to her. That's what she wants, and it's important that you don't give in to her. You can use the "You're so cute when you're mad", that's always good; you can go in and kiss her, fine... if she's still feisty and demands you apologize, just leave her alone. Ignore her. Tell her to call you when she's ready to move on, because you don't have time for this.

However, if you really did hurt her, it's important to man up. I'm not talking about a little neg you may have said that she took the wrong way, or forgetting to call her back- I mean, you really messed up. If you truly feel like you should apologize, then chances are you should. You don't need to make a big spectacle out of it, just say "Look, I'm sorry for ________" or whatever- keep it simple and to the point. Since you don't apologize often (or you shouldn't anyway) then she'll know you're sincere. Don't apologize a million times though, one honest apology is enough.

It sounds more like your talking about a relationship. good advice if your seeing someone but i dont see a girl giving a guy a number after theyve had a half hour discussion about...i dont know...the cold war.

However, if it's just a PICKUP then activating her logical mind with a debate will not generate as much attraction as activating her emotional brain with teasing, touching and being playful and sexual

Good post! Very nice read!

I am in fact talking about a relationship standpoint here. I totally agree that you shouldn't get into heavy debates during pickup- this is more about "how to keep her" not "how to get her"; I should have made that more clear... my bad!

I mostly agree with the OP. However, posts like this often lead men to believe they need to go out of their way to be mean or a douche. That is not true either. There is a very easy way to send women on an emotional ride that works in your favor without having to think about it or maniplate her. Here the the guidlines I follow:

1. If she is wrong tell her.

2. Live by your rules not hers. If you believe something is right. Do it.

3. Make her work for things. Don't kiss her ass.

4. Have fun! Enjoy yourself. Tell jokes, smack her ass, do and say inappropriate things sometimes.

5. Have an opinion if she askes you for it. And sometimes when she doesn't ask.

6. Be loving, but fearless.

From a relationship standpoint, it's great to have debates about actual issues in an articulate way. That shows you guys can actually connect intellectually. However, if it's just a PICKUP then activating her logical mind with a debate will not generate as much attraction as activating her emotional brain with teasing, touching and being playful and sexual.

We like crying to everyone we know about how devastated we are that you broke up with us

First off, the biggest mistake you can make is to avoid arguments.

Women have a psychological need to feel an abundance of emotion. I'll tell you why the good guys always finish last: they don't offer her a variety of emotion; they just make her feel "good" all the time. Every woman craves for her life to be a soap opera- we like calling our friends up to arrange an emergency girls night and talk about what a jerk you're being and how mad we are at you. We like crying to everyone we know about how devastated we are that you broke up with us, and updating our Facebook status with lyrics or a quote that hints about how broken up we are inside.

That's why she starts silly arguments with you all the time- to get a raise out of you. She needs something to complain about; she wants to play the victim. That's what the "bad boy" gives her, and that's why he's so popular; he makes her feel all these different things- good, insecure, guilty, bad, passionate, loved, rejected, scared, unsure, protected, admired, jealous... he makes her feel EMOTIONAL, so don't be scared to get her mad at you once in a while.

Author:	Roz [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Arguments: A Female Perspective
I read through the other post "How to deal with arguments" and thought I should go about shedding some light on the issue by starting a new post, because (i) the OP asked about a specific argument and since there wasn't enough detail given on the matter, I didn't want to give him wrong advice; and (ii) I saw that a lot of you were confused about the issue. First off, the biggest mistake you can make is to avoid arguments. Women have a psychological need to feel an abundance of emotion. I'll tell you why the good guys always finish last: they don't offer her a variety of emotion; they just make her feel "good" all the time. Every woman craves for her life to be a soap opera- we like calling our friends up to arrange an emergency girls night and talk about what a jerk you're being and how mad we are at you. We like crying to everyone we know about how devastated we are that you broke up with us, and updating our Facebook status with lyrics or a quote that hints about how broken up we are inside. That's why she starts silly arguments with you all the time- to get a raise out of you. She needs something to complain about; she wants to play the victim. That's what the "bad boy" gives her, and that's why he's so popular; he makes her feel all these different things- good, insecure, guilty, bad, passionate, loved, rejected, scared, unsure, protected, admired, jealous... he makes her feel EMOTIONAL, so don't be scared to get her mad at you once in a while. Argue Your Point of View There is nothing I find sexier than a man that can intelligently prove his point. If you can leave me with no good counterargument, I'm yours. And guess what? I am not the only one. There are different types of arguments. What I'm referring to now is a debate type argument. Anyone who has ever taken a logic or critical thinking course knows that an argument is more than a contradiction. Women want to be challenged intellectually- we like it when you not only contradict our opinion/point-of-view, but also bring a good argument to the table for why you think we're wrong. Don't be afraid to debate her, but don't overdue it either... what I'm trying to get across here is that if you disagree with her on something, you shouldn't be scared to tell her so. When You Want to Make Up Remember, she wants to be mad once in a while. If it's a minor fight and she throws a hissy fit, do not apologize to her. That's what she wants, and it's important that you don't give in to her. You can use the "You're so cute when you're mad", that's always good; you can go in and kiss her, fine... if she's still feisty and demands you apologize, just leave her alone. Ignore her. Tell her to call you when she's ready to move on, because you don't have time for this. However, if you really did hurt her, it's important to man up. I'm not talking about a little neg you may have said that she took the wrong way, or forgetting to call her back- I mean, you really messed up. If you truly feel like you should apologize, then chances are you should. You don't need to make a big spectacle out of it, just say "Look, I'm sorry for ________" or whatever- keep it simple and to the point. Since you don't apologize often (or you shouldn't anyway) then she'll know you're sincere. Don't apologize a million times though, one honest apology is enough. -Roz

Author:	Fin [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:
"Women have a psychological need to"- That's a pretty big claim right there, which for me at least throws the entire post into doubt.

Author:	Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Arguments: A Female Perspective
Quote: When You Want to Make Up Remember, she wants to be mad once in a while. If it's a minor fight and she throws a hissy fit, do not apologize to her. That's what she wants, and it's important that you don't give in to her. You can use the "You're so cute when you're mad", that's always good; you can go in and kiss her, fine... if she's still feisty and demands you apologize, just leave her alone. Ignore her. Tell her to call you when she's ready to move on, because you don't have time for this. However, if you really did hurt her, it's important to man up. I'm not talking about a little neg you may have said that she took the wrong way, or forgetting to call her back- I mean, you really messed up. If you truly feel like you should apologize, then chances are you should. You don't need to make a big spectacle out of it, just say "Look, I'm sorry for ________" or whatever- keep it simple and to the point. Since you don't apologize often (or you shouldn't anyway) then she'll know you're sincere. Don't apologize a million times though, one honest apology is enough. I'm totally with you on this last part. The minor shit you should ignore. Sometimes girls will just make a fight over nothing just because they're bored, or as a test. Women are running you through thousands of tests you don't know you're taking ALL THE TIME. That's why you must always frame the interaction/relationship as her trying to pass YOUR qualification hoops and pass YOUR tests, as early as possible. From a relationship standpoint, it's great to have debates about actual issues in an articulate way. That shows you guys can actually connect intellectually. However, if it's just a PICKUP then activating her logical mind with a debate will not generate as much attraction as activating her emotional brain with teasing, touching and being playful and sexual. Finally, taking her on an emotional rollercoaster will definitely make her invest in you a lot more. However, rather than having an argument with her, you can simply have a great time one day, then disappear for a bit, then come back and have an amazing time, and then be distant again (relationship push-pull). She's always chasing you, wondering where you two stand, thinking about you and wondering if you might be with someone else, and all the time your actual presence is anchored only to positive emotions and experiences. Better, and easier.

Author:	Diego1234567 [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:
It sounds more like your talking about a relationship. good advice if your seeing someone but i dont see a girl giving a guy a number after theyve had a half hour discussion about...i dont know...the cold war. also a lot of guys can get more set on the arguement itself and be happy with winning the arguement which isnt a great personality to put out there. you dont have to be agreeable, you can have differences and hear each others points. Guys new to female social interaction definitely arent 'argueing' and coming across as bad boys. The guys are, at best, coming across as socially challenged and unattractive.

Author:	Ezo [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:
Good post! Very nice read!

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Author:	Roz [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: It sounds more like your talking about a relationship. good advice if your seeing someone but i dont see a girl giving a guy a number after theyve had a half hour discussion about...i dont know...the cold war. Quote: However, if it's just a PICKUP then activating her logical mind with a debate will not generate as much attraction as activating her emotional brain with teasing, touching and being playful and sexual I am in fact talking about a relationship standpoint here. I totally agree that you shouldn't get into heavy debates during pickup- this is more about "how to keep her" not "how to get her"; I should have made that more clear... my bad! Quote: Good post! Very nice read! Thanks! -Roz

Author:	Ezo [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 9:42 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I am in fact talking about a relationship standpoint here. I totally agree that you shouldn't get into heavy debates during pickup- this is more about "how to keep her" not "how to get her"; I should have made that more clear... my bad! I was talking from a relationship view as well... And I think that that is needed. I assumed that the girl was important to him. I mean, why would anyone ever fight with someone that doesnt mean a thing? Plus ultimately I hope that everybody on this forum finds a great partner (or more) and then they are gonna need relationship stuff as well.

Author:	PlayHer Man [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:
I mostly agree with the OP. However, posts like this often lead men to believe they need to go out of their way to be mean or a douche. That is not true either. There is a very easy way to send women on an emotional ride that works in your favor without having to think about it or maniplate her. Here the the guidlines I follow: 1. If she is wrong tell her. 2. Live by your rules not hers. If you believe something is right. Do it. 3. Make her work for things. Don't kiss her ass. 4. Have fun! Enjoy yourself. Tell jokes, smack her ass, do and say inappropriate things sometimes. 5. Have an opinion if she askes you for it. And sometimes when she doesn't ask. 6. Be loving, but fearless.

Author:	Ezo [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 10:54 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I mostly agree with the OP. However, posts like this often lead men to believe they need to go out of their way to be mean or a douche. That is not true either. There is a very easy way to send women on an emotional ride that works in your favor without having to think about it or maniplate her. Here the the guidlines I follow: 1. If she is wrong tell her. 2. Live by your rules not hers. If you believe something is right. Do it. 3. Make her work for things. Don't kiss her ass. 4. Have fun! Enjoy yourself. Tell jokes, smack her ass, do and say inappropriate things sometimes. 5. Have an opinion if she askes you for it. And sometimes when she doesn't ask. 6. Be loving, but fearless. 3. I dont like the first part. Second part yes. The first part applies to initial pickup, not when you are in a relationship... 5. Having an opinion just to have an opinion is just annoying. Better to get up to date with a lot of stuff so that you can have a real opinion. It can be the same as hers btw. 6. Be loving, but in harmony, not too needy. And let me add. in a relationship, if it is gonna work. The list should also apply to her.

Author:	Jelly [ Mon Nov 22, 2010 6:55 pm ]
Post subject:
PART 1 kind of hit it, girls love a variety of emotion and want to get a raise out of the guy but the guy should almost never get reactive, the girl will get emotional on her own even more so if the guy remains non-reactive. You are correct girls crave to be in a soap opera, but once they are actually in it they want to get out. ------- PART 2 "an intelectual argument????" NO Arguments in social world are not done by intellect, but by mainly value. I can be wrong about something but still win the argument by making the other back down. What is really sexy actually is when the man makes you submit to his rule, not when he logically points out a woman's flaw in her logic, or lack of it. thats how real arguments are won. Quote: From a relationship standpoint, it's great to have debates about actual issues in an articulate way. That shows you guys can actually connect intellectually. However, if it's just a PICKUP then activating her logical mind with a debate will not generate as much attraction as activating her emotional brain with teasing, touching and being playful and sexual. and this^ once the attraction and intmacy is stable, intellectual debates should not be taking people on emotional rollercoasters though. ----- Part 3 well done ------ LASTLY Quote: We like crying to everyone we know about how devastated we are that you broke up with us No women like to talk about it bc 1. they would like sympathy, attention etc. 2. women like to talk in general 3. you want the guy to know how you feel 4. People in general do not like feeling like shit

Author:	jurupa [ Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Arguments: A Female Perspective
Quote: First off, the biggest mistake you can make is to avoid arguments. Ya if you want a drama filled relationship then do this. Otherwise its best to know what arguments to avoid and what ones not to. In other words know when and where to pick your battles. Quote: Women have a psychological need to feel an abundance of emotion. I'll tell you why the good guys always finish last: they don't offer her a variety of emotion; they just make her feel "good" all the time. Every woman craves for her life to be a soap opera- we like calling our friends up to arrange an emergency girls night and talk about what a jerk you're being and how mad we are at you. We like crying to everyone we know about how devastated we are that you broke up with us, and updating our Facebook status with lyrics or a quote that hints about how broken up we are inside. That's why she starts silly arguments with you all the time- to get a raise out of you. She needs something to complain about; she wants to play the victim. That's what the "bad boy" gives her, and that's why he's so popular; he makes her feel all these different things- good, insecure, guilty, bad, passionate, loved, rejected, scared, unsure, protected, admired, jealous... he makes her feel EMOTIONAL, so don't be scared to get her mad at you once in a while. This is most probably the best reason I have seen to why girls start drama.

Author:	fifeguy86 [ Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:45 pm ]
Post subject:
once again Roz has given us all a valuable female perspective of things. pretty important in maintaining a relationship and also remaining the dominant partner in the relationship. if you look back at your past relationships guys, im sure this makes sense. i have been with my current gf like 3and a half/4years and it all makes sense. i have apologised to her exactly 3 times thru the course of our relationship and only when i really had to, and she loves me to bits. still throws her wee fits now nad again. i just tell her to grow up. or if she keeps acting like a brat im sending her to bed lol. or sometimes i just argue til im bored and go to the pub and stay out late to punish her.

Author:	HappySlip [ Sat Dec 25, 2010 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:
So women have arguments because they are bored and they want men to tell them their wrong? haha Sounds like they are truly an advocate of emotional feelings while men are more logical. This is cool because it completes each one and another.

Author:	johnchangmai [ Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:06 pm ]
Post subject:
Roz. You are just a little girl who likes to cry a lot.

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Author:	HappySlip [ Sat Dec 25, 2010 11:20 pm ]
Post subject:
I'll bet she'll say that it's not crying man, it's ventilation......from a females perspective lol