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Best response when a girl ignores your call and apologizes
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Author:  cagewalker [ Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Best response when a girl ignores your call and apologizes
It's a catch 22.

If a girl you are seeing ignores your text and call for 5-6 days, but then runs into you and says - 'oh sorry I missed your call, I was just really really busy last week'

How do you respond without reacting to her little shit test, but at the same time letting her know her boundaries? You don't want to bring it up at all, but if she does, what would you do then?

Let's say you know its a bullshit excuse, because nothing major happened to her, she was just 'too busy to bother replying'.
Author:  napora [ Mon Aug 23, 2010 6:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
tell her. you want her to call you back next time:d
then you set a boundry without being rude or something.
Author:  KristallNachte [ Mon Aug 23, 2010 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
no, say it was no big deal and walk away.
Author:  Zephyrine [ Mon Aug 23, 2010 10:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
"no biggie" Say nothing else.

She wants attention. Let her work for it.
Author:  New Capt J [ Tue Aug 24, 2010 6:40 am ]
Post subject:  Cool, whatever
I had a great time last week with my friends at a few parties. You missed out. Stay in touch more and maybe you can get in on some of the fun.
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Tue Aug 24, 2010 10:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Maybe she was honestly busy.

Maybe she's blowing you off because you've lost momentum, attraction, or she sees no value in what you're bringing to the table. If you're sending texts like "hey it's X remember from bar Y do u want to come to Z sometime?" then that's likely why.

Regardless of whichever scenario it is, your best bet is to say "oh that sucks you were so busy because I was trying to get through to you to invite you to this fun new place I went to with some friends...etc" and tell a little DHV story which tops up your attraction levels and makes her feel like she missed out on something.

Then false time constraint (you bumped into her so you're obviously off meeting someone cuz you've got shit going on), transition into something else, and then set up a solid time and place to see each other again, preferably something a little different and fun, on your home turf, where you can show her around a few cool places and bounce to yours afterwards. Done.
Author:  ~Finesse [ Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
This...
Quote:
no, say it was no big deal and walk away.
This...
Quote:
"no biggie" Say nothing else.

She wants attention. Let her work for it.
And this...
Quote:
Maybe she was honestly busy.
And lastly, this...


I was recently(yesterday), in a similar position to you. Girl ignored my calls, (I had phoned twice, - one giving her benefit of doubt that she may have been in the shower or something)

Now, I was a little bugged that this chick wasn't answering my calls, just as you were.

Now I started bugging out over why she wasn't answering - Ignore these thoughts and feelings, they do you no favours.

I also wanted to criticise her for not answering - Don't do this. I know you want to 'set boundaries' or whatnot, but it will only serve to make you look silly and way too over reactive.

Instead, I told her (just as you should), 'No worries' and 'thanks for letting me know!' (the girl got in touch to say why she didn't answer).

I know the girl didn't contact you, but for future situations ;)

Now the first 'no worries', shows that it wasn't a big issue to you. So now instead of looking like you were 'desperately trying to get hold of her', it looks like you were just casually seeing if she was free.

The latter 'thanks for letting me know!' - If you want to 'set boundaries', this is the best way to go about it. Instead of criticising her for doing bad (and therefore likely lowering her opinion of you), you praise her for the good she has done - Which is getting in touch and letting you know why. This means in the future, she is more likely to get in touch or make an effort to let you know.

In your situation you could have said (NON-sarcastically), "Hey, no worries! You shoulda just let me know, woulda saved me the hassle :P"

The last line, if you DO say it, has to REALLY sound playfully said. It works 'cause you've still told her to let you know/get in touch. But it's hidden safely in there as a joke. (That's if you want to set up boundaries etc, is the smoothest way of doing so)


Love and Praise

~Finesse
Author:  cagewalker [ Tue Aug 24, 2010 1:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
remaining unreactive state seems to be the general consensus.

I really like the principle of saying 'no worries' to remain calm, but with a qualifying remark at the end to set boundaries.
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