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Dealing with girls going through bad breakups
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Author:  Ciornia [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Dealing with girls going through bad breakups
Any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle situations with girls who are attracted to you but are in the midst of a bad breakup and just aren't quite ready to go on anything even remotely resembling a date?

Thanks,
Ciornia

Note to Mods: I'm not posting this thread in the Relationships section because my question doesn't relate to a relationship that I myself am in. Hope that's okay.
Author:  deviated rationality [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Depends on what you want. If you want a relationship, wait about 3-6 months, depending on how much she is hung up. If you want a fuck, just be around her and not show interest for a few weeks.

Then turn it up with some slight-of hand game, specifically some strong NLP and Freudian slips (ie: what erection do I need to go to get to NYC? say it without hesitation and only so she or other guys will hear. She will hear erection, but if you do it right she will think SHE heard erection, and you really said direction; that is unless whomever is nearby reacts the same as she does, and most guys wont.) Don't lay it on to heavy, do it sporadically and randomly, and not too often.

Then just game her after it has fermented in her mind a bit (thinking and connecting sexual ideas to you.) Game her lightly though, and over time. These are usually long term targets, so you really just need to distract her and having her thinking about YOU instead of him. Once you get that done you will be in, and her doors/walls are going to come.
Author:  Lysander [ Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Again, depending on what you want... if you're interested in something serious just be cool for a while.

Don't be too available. If she wants to talk about her ex, let her talk a bit, but change the topic for more positive things before it gets too heavy. Don't get drawn into being her shoulder to cry on. Be fun, a little flirty and make her smile. Make her feel the opposite of what her ex makes her feel. Rather than dates, invite her out in group settings where you're amongst your friends and can be relaxed, funny, awesome, whatever.

There's a heightened potential for falling into the friend zone if you try to be too understanding.

There's also a chance to mess it up if she turns you into rebound guy so be careful...
Author:  RockStar_dallas [ Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Then turn it up with some slight-of hand game, specifically some strong NLP and Freudian slips (ie: what erection do I need to go to get to NYC? say it without hesitation and only so she or other guys will hear. She will hear erection, but if you do it right she will think SHE heard erection, and you really said direction; that is unless whomever is nearby reacts the same as she does, and most guys wont.) Don't lay it on to heavy, do it sporadically and randomly, and not too often.
Devious. :)

If you wanted to you could also use NLP or covert hypnosis to remove the boyfriend or replace him with you. She might become a stalker though.
Author:  Ciornia [ Sun Jul 04, 2010 1:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, guys, for your feedback. You raise some good points. I think you're right that a light touch is required here, as well as some patience. And there's definitely the risk of being relegated to the friend zone in cases like this. But in my particular situation, the main obstacle is at the other end of the spectrum: it's not that I'm hanging out with these girls regularly and that they might be inclined to cry on my shoulder and view me as just a friend; rather, I don't know them well at all, and our lives don't intersect in a way that we would naturally run into or see each other. I can tell the attraction is there, but I also recognize they're not ready for anything even remotely resembling a date. I've already proposed one or two fun things to do -- but activities that don't have the word "date" even subtly implied. So far, though, I haven't managed to get them to meet me face to face. But the girls in question are gorgeous and smart -- definitely worth some effort.
Author:  ktime70 [ Sun Jul 04, 2010 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dealing with girls going through bad breakups
Quote:
Any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle situations with girls who are attracted to you but are in the midst of a bad breakup and just aren't quite ready to go on anything even remotely resembling a date?

Thanks,
Ciornia

Note to Mods: I'm not posting this thread in the Relationships section because my question doesn't relate to a relationship that I myself am in. Hope that's okay.
don't date them.

don't give them your real address

make sure your car isn't recognisable.

and don't park directly outside her house...

either her stalking or her ex stalking are drama's you don't need.

but there are plenty of non-stalker risks out there, find one of them.

and in the "midst" of a messy breakup. a breakup takes 5 minutes most. 6 if they have breakup sex.
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