Hey
I was reading The Nice Guy Game ebook, when I decided I wanted to try some of the things that were in the book. The ebook discuss good topics such as the balance between Comfort and Intent. The mission statement (not book) said too much Comfort will lead you to LJBF. Too much intent the ebook said that it get's the girls but doesn't get relationships or that the guy will only make out with the chick but not go home with the girl.
So anyways, back to my ranting on Mission.
The first thing I want to do is:
1) Work the room - this is what I like to call it because if anyone knew about that dance party I went to back in high school - i danced with a bunch of chicks (Working The Room) then was going to my friend to talk and all of a sudden this chick started dancing with me, the three joined in.
In the ebook it discuss basically talking with everyone, getting to know them briefly then departing. Social Proofing is a good way to make your self high value male.
So, what I'll be doing is start being more extrovert and start talking to people at stores, library, psr, or what not.
2) Managing my responses better - by having more control over my emotions the more likely I could react different in situations. So, if I get rejected by some Ms. Hotty - just reframe the experience like saying to myself, "Okay, well let's learn from this - what I can learn from what just happened?" I believe that everything happens for a reason. Back then girls called me ugly - why? I behaved ugly. I believed that I was ugly, there for my actions hindered me in my mission to pick up chicks by my body language, voice tone and other mannerisms.
3) See their point of view - in the ebook, it's said having empathy builds a deeper connection and with connection leads to mystical attraction. So understanding one person's feelings which I already have a good knack at but sometimes turn inward - I think I could build a deeper connection with people in general.
4) Learning social cues - gaining social intelligence is another good exercise I will do. I know a lot about social skills but I should learn more. For instance is two girls are talking really loudly about something, to say - "Excuse me for a minute, I have to get back to my friend but I just wanted to ask a quick question that my friend and I were having a debate on." Instead of saying, "Hey guys!!". Also, adjusting my energy flow with some groups or sets.
Those are the main areas that I want to do to build deeper connections and thus gaining more higher value that just sitting alone, or being quiet or whatever.
Also, I will be doing some experimentation also. I noticed some strange occurrences is that when I'm in a pissed mood then everyone wants to talk to me, when I'm in a happy mood then everyone just chills and doesn't want my attention. I figured out why that is - my body language shows that I don't want to be bothered. When people read this they wonder why doesn't he want anyone want to talk to him? What's wrong with him? So, I want to experience with that some more seeing if being distant is better than extrovert. This one client kept up saying to me, "Paul what's wrong? What's wrong Paul?" I told her, "Nothing, just chilling." However, inside I was aggravated at something.
So, I'm gonna experiment with Mr. Talkative Vs. Mr. Distant and see what works best. I think Mr. Distant can work at times, whereas Mr. Talkative could work at some times too.
However, Mr. Talkative is hard to come out of my shell at times. I have to force myself to talk to alot of people. Sometimes I want to recharge my batteries. I have a small circle of friends - would I like more? Sure! I think stepping out my comfort zone of being a introvert will help alot with any type of relationships.
Well, gotta run peace!