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| My Wake Up Call... Don't Forget The Principles! https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=69170 |
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| Author: | SSN [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 9:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | My Wake Up Call... Don't Forget The Principles! |
I met a girl two months ago. She was attractive and had a great personality. I considered her LTR material. I should've known it would end badly... I spent time with her in a group environment. She seemed into me for a while. Her best friend is good friends with me so she decided to give me inside information on her. Her advice was: -Build up a lot of comfort first -Don't use kino until the first point is fulfilled -Take it slow *Note, she's picky about the guys she likes. I took this into consideration and followed her advice blindly. I'm not gonna go into detail about our interactions after this, but I'm sure you can guess that it didn't go well. I'll list my probable mistakes: -Not sexual enough -Caring too much what she thought -No kino -No statements of interest -Turning down other girls -Thinking about what I should say or do -Putting her on a pedestal -Listening to everyone else's opinions (eg. She said "this" about you, I think you should do "that") -I thought I was so good that I could disregard all the principles I've learnt *I basically abandoned my usual game in favour of a more sneaky, "don't let her see I'm interested" approach. This all came to head on Wednesday night. I went out with a friend of mine. I saw her in the club with a bunch of other girls I knew. I went over to greet her then went to the bathroom. As I wanted to go back to her I saw another guy talking to her. I decided to wait until he left before I approached her again. (A mistake, I know) My friend pushed me to go speak to her. I couldn't think of anything to say to her. I didn't want to go while another guy was there. I suddenly got really nervous. (I never get nervous in these situations!). Then I got really jealous. Who was this guy that dared to speak to my girl? I went outside to clear my head. I read a few pick-up notes I had saved on my phone. They didn't help. I went back in and tried to build up some momentum by opening a few other sets. I was feeling good. I went up to her: *she was standing at the bar with a guy on her left, he was getting her a drink. I approached from the right Her: (She spoke before I could say anything) Hey Teddy-G Me: Hey! I see you're popular with the guys tonight! Her: They're my friends! Me: Yeah that's what they all say... (Still can't figure out why I said this) *At this point she turned her back on me and faced the other way That hit me hard. I lingered for a second or two then went back to my friend. It affected me for the rest of the night. I stayed in a set with other girls I knew, determined to let her see that she didn't affect me. At one point she walked past and smiled at me. Of course I analyzed the shit outta that smile. My friend suggested approaching her again. "Just go ask her to coffee!", he urged. I didn't think this was I good idea, and even if I did, I just wasn't in the right mental state to do it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I haven't spoken to her since then. I just wanted to write this down so that I could put it into perspective. If it benefits someone else then great. Feel free to offer me some advice, rip me a new one, learn from my mistakes or ensure that you don't make the same one. |
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| Author: | Brawndo [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 10:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I've been there. She could be playing hard to get, she could be saying that another guy is more interesting than you, she could be giving you a shit test. I would call her up, ask her out for coffee. If she says no or can't, then I would seriously lose her number and ignore her when you see her out. If you keep lingering in the past, you can't look to the future. |
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| Author: | Adam E. [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
The interaction at the bar while the target was in set with the other guy was a problem, obviously. Is the girl who is giving you inside help on your target a pivot or did you translate what she said into lingo? |
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| Author: | Flynn [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 5:05 am ] |
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If you still really want her I would probably do a time bridge. Invite her to something exciting that you already have planned with other friends (have girls there as well). If she says she can't then don't invite her to anything else because then you would begin to look needy. Try and avoid getting a no though. Also, if you end up hanging out with her again you obviously NEED to give IOI's. Give eye contact and easy shit. Hope this helped, good luck. |
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| Author: | Don Juan 89 [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:06 am ] |
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What happened here: You showed too much interest in her. You showed that you were jealous man! I can almost guarantee her mental response to you was: "Ugh this guy is so controlling... who cares if I talk to other guys?!?!" Its all about naturally being alpha. You should have went over and just taken control of the conversation when the guy was there. Even after that, you should have played it off like there was never a guy there. Would you have used a response like this if she was just talking to one of her girl friends? OF COURSE NOT! Who cares if she talks to her girl friends? In the same way you don't care if she speaks to her girl friends, you shouldn't care if she talks to other guys because they might actually be her friend. Who knows the guy might even be gay and be an awesome wing! |
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| Author: | SSN [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: The interaction at the bar while the target was in set with the other guy was a problem, obviously. Is the girl who is giving you inside help on your target a pivot or did you translate what she said into lingo?
She was not a pivot. I translated it into PUA terms.Quote: Also, if you end up hanging out with her again you obviously NEED to give IOI's. Give eye contact and easy shit. Hope this helped, good luck.
That's my intention. I've already started the process of distancing her in my mind, so that when I see her again it won't be such a big deal.My main problem was being afraid to show IOIs and basically any interest because of what her friend had told me. Quote: What happened here:
You're absolutely right. The frustrating thing is that I already know all of this. I know exactly what I did wrong, and I know what I should have done instead. In that moment, however, I cracked under the pressure. You showed too much interest in her. You showed that you were jealous man! I can almost guarantee her mental response to you was: "Ugh this guy is so controlling... who cares if I talk to other guys?!?!" Its all about naturally being alpha. You should have went over and just taken control of the conversation when the guy was there. Even after that, you should have played it off like there was never a guy there. Would you have used a response like this if she was just talking to one of her girl friends? OF COURSE NOT! Who cares if she talks to her girl friends? In the same way you don't care if she speaks to her girl friends, you shouldn't care if she talks to other guys because they might actually be her friend. Who knows the guy might even be gay and be an awesome wing! I'm a bit confused as to why you say I showed too much interest. Sur-real seems to think I didn't show enough... Could you perhaps elaborate? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Something I found out recently is that my target said I was too shy. The friend (a female) who told me this, says she meant this as in, I'm too shy in terms of making a move. Her advice was, "You should make a move, ask her to coffee." |
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| Author: | selous [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:46 pm ] |
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Quote: Her: They're my friends!
I've made similarly dumb mistakes in the past. Although we all know you were trying to be C&F if you look at it from her perspective it sounds like you were calling her a slut and she was justifiably offended by that. Don't worry, after 200 girls you have a thing for you shouldn't make those kinds of mistakes.
Me: Yeah that's what they all say... |
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| Author: | Don Juan 89 [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well I just meant "showing too much interest" in terms of seeming jealous. Even though you may have not purposely wanted to show her interest, your line conveyed a lot of interest and jealousy. Don't sweat it. You live and you learn. |
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| Author: | SSN [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 2:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Well I just meant "showing too much interest" in terms of seeming jealous. Even though you may have not purposely wanted to show her interest, your line conveyed a lot of interest and jealousy.
Oh I see. That makes sense.Don't sweat it. You live and you learn. For those of you who are still following this post, I'm going out with a bunch of friends tonight and my chances of seeing this girl are about 90%. My goal for tonight is to behave completely opposite to the way I did last time. Basically I wanna: -Be more social with everyone in general -Talk to my target -Set up a Day 2 with my target *-Get out of my head and stop OVER-thinking everything The last one is the most important because I think that if I can just accomplish that alone, then the rest will fall into place. Let's hope it goes well. I'll keep you updated. |
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| Author: | Don Juan 89 [ Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Good luck! If you keep it that way you will probably do well! |
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| Author: | SSN [ Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:18 pm ] |
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I did myself proud last night. I accomplished each of the goals I set out and it resulted in one of the best nights I've ever had. I walked into the club with a purpose. I spotted my target. I made as if I didn't see her. I drifted from set to set. Every few moments I would see her looking over at me. I didn't go over. She was flanked by two guys. I didn't care. It was my friend's birthday and I was preoccupied with that. Much later in the night I was standing near the bar and from about 4 metres away we made eye contact. She smiled at me, I went over to say hello. When she hugged me I made a point of not letting go first. It worked, the hug lingered. We started having a conversation. One of the guys she was with came to say goodbye to her, he tried to turn his back on me. I stood there unaffected. It didn't bother me. He gave me a look, as if to say "she's mine!". I smiled at him, and shook my head disapprovingly. He left. I continued the conversation with my target. Me: I never see you out, is this gonna become a regular thing? Her: NO! I only came out because all my friends were coming. Me: (jokingly) haha, i've been trying to get you to come out for ages! Her: (can't remember what she said) Me: Well I think we should discuss this over coffee! Her: Maybe... Me: No that's not the answer I wanted. Her: (She smiles and turns to say something to her friend) Me: Hey, I want a definite anwer! Her: Ok, what time? From here we arranged a meeting and she said she would text me about it the next morning. I didn't get my hopes up too much. If it didn't end up happening I didn't wanna be disappointed. In my mind I had already accomplished my goal by just asking her. I overcame my fears, I got out of my head and I did what I wanted to. This was a complete turnaround from last week and was a large step in the right direction. *The overall mindset I've adopted her is quite simple: IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL Since adopting this mindset, things have just become so much easier. Don't put so much emphasis on every interaction and treat it like a life or death situation. I'll say it again... IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL |
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| Author: | SSN [ Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
She sent me a text this morning, as promised. We arranged a coffee date for this afternoon. I started getting nervous as the time approached. This was normal I guess. I didn't overthink it. I didn't plan any routines. I didn't memorize any stories. I was just gonna go natural. I was nervous when I met her at the coffee place, but I quickly settled into my rhythm. The conversation was flowing pretty well. A few good things I noticed: -She was smiling a lot -I made her laugh -She never seemed to break eye contact I found two moments interesting in this interaction. The first was when she mentioned that a guy at the coffee place kept looking at her. I mocked her about it and said that he probably liked her. I jokingly asked her if she wanted me to make a scene. The other was when she mentioned her best "guy friend" that she's really close to. I made a point of letting her know that I didn't find this that significant. Me: A lot of guys probably get jealous if a girl has a really good guy friend. It's kinda stupid, you can't be insecure like that. I'm not really the jealous type. (She seemed impressed by this response) Her: I'm not really sure if I'm the jealous type. (Here she exposes her lack of experience with LTRs. She's never been in a significantly long relationship) The interaction ended after about an hour. I walked her back to her car. As I was hugging her I said that I had fun and that we should do it again. I'm not sure if she said anything back to this. She said goodbye and left. As it stands right now I'm not completely convinced if this was a success or not. How do you know if it was successful? My next step is to set up another interaction. I'm not quite sure what that will be just yet. I'm planning on texting her tomorrow and seeing what kind of reaction I get. Any good ideas for a second date? (If this was considered a "date" that is) |
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