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Buyer's Remorse is Ridiculous
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Author:  Chief [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 5:43 am ]
Post subject:  Buyer's Remorse is Ridiculous
The very concept of Buyer's Remorse is absolutely absurd.

In the context of sales, a customer gets what's called "Buyer's Remorse" when they regret making a purchase after they've realized that the product they bought falls short of their expectations. In PUA terminology, a woman supposedly gets Buyer's Remorse if they regret sleeping with a guy.

The very fact that a guy actually put the concept of Buyer's Remorse in PUA literature is an admittance of the self-belief that he falls short of women's expectations. A so-called PUA thinks a woman will get Buyer's Remorse after she sleeps with him because he actually sees himself as unworthy of sex, and he is trying to misuse seduction as a way to trick the woman into believing that he is of higher value than he perceives himself to be.

This is the classic case of the so-called PUA trying to validate himself by tricking others into believing something he doesn't actually believe. He thinks that, maybe, eventually, he can feel better about himself if other people see him as higher value than he sees himself.

What a crock of utter bullshit.

The real-deal PUA believes that there would be no such "Buyer's Remorse" because there's nothing to regret after a woman sleeps with him. He knows that sex is a mutual and consensual act, and he absolutely knows what he's doing in bed. He also knows that he is actually quite sexually desirable. Buyer's Remorse just doesn't make any sense at all to him.

What does it take to really believe this? Most guys reading this article will try to wrestle with cognitive dissonance by adding a "No Buyer's Remorse rule" to their list of daily bullshit affirmations that continually deny what they truly feel about themselves. The wiser ones will actually focus on self-efficacy rather than the mainstream western view of self-esteem.

Buyer's Remorse? What the hell is that? Get that crap out of my seduction community.
Author:  Brendan [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 7:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Great post Chief! Makes a lot of sense.
Author:  johnchangmai [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 12:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
A genius.

The end
Author:  AFC Royal [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 2:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Agreed in full. We need more of these kinds of posts.
Author:  cataclysm [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
To my understanding buyer remorse was introduced by Mystery to describe a situation where insufficient comfort building is made before going straight to escalation and sex.

After the sex, the woman might think that she really "doesn't know you that well" and getting anxious over the moral guilt of having sex with someone whom she does not understand enough, as a result of both societal moral upbringings as well as evolutionary psychology-regretting over having sex with a man who has not shown enough assurance in long term parental care, a cost to her gene propagation in hunter gathering age. She might feel uneasy and refuse to continue any relationship with you.

In that sense you didn't screw up in sexual attraction, cos if you did, she wont have sex with you. It is just the story of "what happens after sex", which is a fundamental problem, both culturally and biologically shaped the gender difference.
Author:  kasabi [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 5:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Regret sleeping with the guy" is the girl's issue. It doesn't matter what the guy believes or doesn't believe . . .

"Regret sleeping with the guy" is just a common way for a girl to explain to others that, "Yeah, I was horny, turned on, had a great time . . . but this won't continue . . ." And it's commonly used for two different situations:

If the guy is a player and will clearly move on: It's a way for the girl to explain to others that it's HER decision to call this off and she never had anything for the guy in the first place.

If the girl clearly sees a mismatch and has no desire to date the guy: It's a way for her to nip a potential relationship in the bud. (There's life beyond good sex)

Either way, a guy can believe whatever he wants to believe or emphasize it or belittle it . . . but buyer's remorse exists. It exists because girls say it exists and it's their call.
Author:  Jelly [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 5:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was a great read but its just a word to explain what happens after sex with a girl usually same nite closes.
She has to reverse rationalize what happened and explain it in ways such as "Im not usually like that" "I dont do that". This is all to say she isnt a slut.
Until we think of a better word for it, the term needs to stay. a term like after sex anti slut defense or ASASD but that could be confusing.
She can say shes not like that but just ask her this question "was it fun?" the reply will be yes

The girl will use these terms bc sleeping with many guys in our society(or her society) is something that lowers her value and to preserve her value she has to say these things, she even has to make herself believe it to preserve the value she has of herself
Author:  Fin [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 6:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"Regret sleeping with the guy" is the girl's issue. It doesn't matter what the guy believes or doesn't believe . . .

"Regret sleeping with the guy" is just a common way for a girl to explain to others that, "Yeah, I was horny, turned on, had a great time . . . but this won't continue . . ." And it's commonly used for two different situations:

If the guy is a player and will clearly move on: It's a way for the girl to explain to others that it's HER decision to call this off and she never had anything for the guy in the first place.

If the girl clearly sees a mismatch and has no desire to date the guy: It's a way for her to nip a potential relationship in the bud. (There's life beyond good sex)

Either way, a guy can believe whatever he wants to believe or emphasize it or belittle it . . . but buyer's remorse exists. It exists because girls say it exists and it's their call.
Agreed.

TBH I think buyers remorse may not have anything to do with "falling short of expectations" but rather some social construct like "I don't do ONS" being broken.

She may have loved every second of it, but she may fear she will be judged, so she constructs that excuse of regret. (Real or not)
Author:  R.G. [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 6:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
"Regret sleeping with the guy" is the girl's issue. It doesn't matter what the guy believes or doesn't believe . . .

"Regret sleeping with the guy" is just a common way for a girl to explain to others that, "Yeah, I was horny, turned on, had a great time . . . but this won't continue . . ." And it's commonly used for two different situations:

If the guy is a player and will clearly move on: It's a way for the girl to explain to others that it's HER decision to call this off and she never had anything for the guy in the first place.

If the girl clearly sees a mismatch and has no desire to date the guy: It's a way for her to nip a potential relationship in the bud. (There's life beyond good sex)

Either way, a guy can believe whatever he wants to believe or emphasize it or belittle it . . . but buyer's remorse exists. It exists because girls say it exists and it's their call.
Agreed.

TBH I think buyers remorse may not have anything to do with "falling short of expectations" but rather some social construct like "I don't do ONS" being broken.

She may have loved every second of it, but she may fear she will be judged, so she constructs that excuse of regret. (Real or not)
Yeah I was going to say broadly the same thing. I think where buyer's remorse does matter, it's mainly to do with the girl's side of things. Rather than falling short of expectations, instead, it is that the guy has not made the girl:

-comfortable enough
-invested enough
-feel like she's 'earnt' him
-etc.

This can make the girl feel like a slut, the day after or once the seduction is over (as seduction is state-dependent).

You can lay a girl quickly but there's no glory in doing so if she feels buyer's remorse after. It depends a lot on the girl as well of course. This is why it's important to manage expectations.
Author:  johnchangmai [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 9:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Rafiel

I think you may have missed the last point in chief's thread regarding western logic on this.

Chief as you know is Asian and has grown up in a western world so has a unique insight in to this.

You and I are both English and thus have a western view on this.

Maybe Chief can point out the differences between our western culture and that of an asian culture.

I seem to remember on a few times pulling the tyical does not go out much, recently single high value lady who ended up getting drilled in every whole she's got by me and waking up in the morning with a rather large ammount of B M.

I will quote what one of them said.


I feel dirty, blah blah.

I seem to remember now.

She was rather good.
Author:  kasabi [ Sun Jun 13, 2010 10:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
^This has less to do with ethnic cultures and more to do with maturity.

The kid buys a toy he thinks is cool and then figures out later that his friends think it's uncool and/or he gets bored of the toy. The same things can occur when a 40 year old buys himself a boat . . . but at this age, he's got to balance his LIFE with this purchase. (Mortgage on his house, his family, free time, work, life savings, retirement plans, etc . . . )

A 19 year old girl fucks for a night and all she's worried about is "Will I or will I not fuck this guy for a few weeks/months/years or not?" (and of course the way her friends think about this is very important to her)

The 29 year old girl fucks for a night and she's got to balance this event with the rest of her life. 29 is probably an exaggeration as I'd say that girls in general are more mature than guys. On the other hand, plenty 60 year old guys just run around with their dicks hanging out because with sex, NOTHING else matters.

1. Regardless of how silly or crazy you think that "their way of thinking" might be, learn to appreciate their thought process. This will get you far.
2. If you're 19 and you want to reduce "buyer's remorse", be a good person and learn to be a good lover.
3. If you want to reduce "buyer's remorse" as a 29 year old and beyond, then invest in yourself NOW and continue to become a better person so that you're better able to match up with anybody in the World when you're older.

* Sex turns guys on. This is the way we're made. On the other hand, sex isn't the only thing that turns girls on. This is why we have an advantage. What makes the one night stand from 3 years ago from a far away country call you back after all this time? You think it's the memory of many orgasms? I'd say no . . .
Author:  cataclysm [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
^This has less to do with ethnic cultures and more to do with maturity.

The kid buys a toy he thinks is cool and then figures out later that his friends think it's uncool and/or he gets bored of the toy. The same things can occur when a 40 year old buys himself a boat . . . but at this age, he's got to balance his LIFE with this purchase. (Mortgage on his house, his family, free time, work, life savings, retirement plans, etc . . . )

A 19 year old girl fucks for a night and all she's worried about is "Will I or will I not fuck this guy for a few weeks/months/years or not?" (and of course the way her friends think about this is very important to her)

The 29 year old girl fucks for a night and she's got to balance this event with the rest of her life. 29 is probably an exaggeration as I'd say that girls in general are more mature than guys. On the other hand, plenty 60 year old guys just run around with their dicks hanging out because with sex, NOTHING else matters.

1. Regardless of how silly or crazy you think that "their way of thinking" might be, learn to appreciate their thought process. This will get you far.
2. If you're 19 and you want to reduce "buyer's remorse", be a good person and learn to be a good lover.
3. If you want to reduce "buyer's remorse" as a 29 year old and beyond, then invest in yourself NOW and continue to become a better person so that you're better able to match up with anybody in the World when you're older.

* Sex turns guys on. This is the way we're made. On the other hand, sex isn't the only thing that turns girls on. This is why we have an advantage. What makes the one night stand from 3 years ago from a far away country call you back after all this time? You think it's the memory of many orgasms? I'd say no . . .
Nice post.

It is quite important to make ourselves a better person, a good gamer in the long run.
Author:  Don Juan 89 [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Agreed.

HOWEVER buyers remorse might mean that your penis is under 3 inches and the chick didn't get off, you only lasted for 120 seconds or someone got an STD. LOL!



Anyway, if you f-close that is the final chapter. It means you succeeded in seduction. If seduction is not your end goal, then use your PUA skills to find a girl with congruent interests.
Author:  R.G. [ Mon Jun 14, 2010 5:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Rafiel

I think you may have missed the last point in chief's thread regarding western logic on this.

Chief as you know is Asian and has grown up in a western world so has a unique insight in to this.

You and I are both English and thus have a western view on this.

Maybe Chief can point out the differences between our western culture and that of an asian culture.

I seem to remember on a few times pulling the tyical does not go out much, recently single high value lady who ended up getting drilled in every whole she's got by me and waking up in the morning with a rather large ammount of B M.

I will quote what one of them said.


I feel dirty, blah blah.

I seem to remember now.

She was rather good.
I'm not really interested in getting to involved in discussion at the mo - you're probably right, I probably have missed the main point; though I wanted to point out that I wouldn't be so presumptuous about my nationality/ethnicity :D - and, what one can conclude from that too, but the latter is subjective.
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