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The light at the end of the tunnel
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Author:  R.G. [ Sat May 22, 2010 4:47 pm ]
Post subject:  The light at the end of the tunnel
Ello babes!

Every task I enter, I enter with the end in mind. And so just as I have an idea of where and how I would like to close before I enter a set, with pickup in general, I'm always thinking of the final frontier - marriage, or at least settling with 'the one'. And generally the future.

This raises many contentious issues with being a PUA in the first place - how is my future wife going to feel about me having banged a million different women? What if I meet these women again in the future, whilst with a wife and children? What if my future job is a public one - surely if I have banged loads of women then I could be susceptible to blackmail etc, or at the very least, it could tarnish any public image?

Sono molto preoccupato.

I'm just looking for a general discussion on peoples' thoughts to these broad questions, and I might be able to take something away from it.

Just to put a slant on the discussion - I do intend to find one person to settle down with at some point, I intend to search those countries where girls have less experience (due to social norms & taboos etc), and I'm not going to voluntarily tell her about the community because it's not my life.
Author:  870 [ Sat May 22, 2010 5:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
In many ways, I am already where you are talking about. I am engaged with a kid on the way, and as editor of the local newspaper and president of the chamber of commerce, I find myself in all kinds of situations where my past promiscuity would not be a welcome topic of conversation (not to mention ammunition for those who don't necessarily like me).

So what do I do? The same thing I do with everything else that doesn't help me in life--accept it and ignore it.

If someone has the bad taste to bring it up (which a few have), I just smile and say, "Are you still doing the same things you were doing five years ago?"

This subcommunicates that: A) I am not ashamed of what I've done, but it's in the past, and B) the accuser must either admit that they haven't grown in five years or admit that I have probably evolved since the time they are talking about.

My fiance is fully aware of my past indiscretions and my involvement on this forum, and she is accepting 90% of the time. When she starts to get a little weird about it, I just let her read some of the ridiculous questions people ask on here and she says, "Oh baby, wow, they need you." The end :)

Your boy,
870
Author:  R.G. [ Tue May 25, 2010 8:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
These are very insightful and useful responses.

It's likely, like 870, that I'll be in some form of public position in the future.

Hobbit makes the point about that dude on Oprah, which I agree is fascinating. Interestingly, 870 made a very similar point in a different discussion on the lounge.

That's the problem I guess for me, there is a large difference in who different groups of people think I am etc. I don't think you can align all these perceptions though. For example I am a leader of certain groups of people where a clean sense of respect is essential. Then there are massive skewness, bias and prejudice in others' perceptions of you. For instance the old "If I fuck loads of people am I a slut" type thing, which is just ridden with stereotypes, assumptions and prejudices.

I do accept who I am, Hobb...but do others?:

I remember when I was the president of my sixth form college a few years ago, I got expelled towards the end for pulling a huge prank with a team of pranksters. It was quite a serious one (made the papers); many people knew me due to the public nature of being the president of the college, and I had random adults or parents come up to me who I had never seen before saying they were disappointed in me, or that they had placed their trust & faith in me and I had given it away etc. (Of course there were also many people who loved us for it lol).

Public opinion takes no prisoners. Of course I don't care what others think in that I'm not affected personally, but, my position in life may be, if that makes any sense.

This congruency thing with different aspects of who you are, who you think you are and who people think you are though...brilliant idea...something I will ponder over for a couple of weeks at least...

could help a lot of people too :)

La società favorisce l'attendente :/

xx
Author:  trixsta [ Wed May 26, 2010 2:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I remember when I was the president of my sixth form college a few years ago, I got expelled towards the end for pulling a huge prank with a team of pranksters. It was quite a serious one (made the papers); many people knew me due to the public nature of being the president of the college, and I had random adults or parents come up to me who I had never seen before saying they were disappointed in me, or that they had placed their trust & faith in me and I had given it away etc. (Of course there were also many people who loved us for it lol).
xx
What was the prank? I'm expecting something hilarious since you got expelled!
Author:  johnchangmai [ Thu May 27, 2010 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm always thinking of the final frontier - marriage, or at least settling with 'the one'
Quote:

Always looking into the future.
Always thinking about marriage.
Settling down with the one.

Don't forget to live and enjoy life.
See the world and do as much as you can.
You don't strike me that old, surely you want to change the world, make it better etc.
Set out to achieve your goals in life.

I sense a lot of social conditioning here.
The responses from the moderators if proof.

Beware of the class system that is still at work today......

Choose your miss perfect carefully.

And as for pua.
I would'nt worry about it.
Author:  R.G. [ Thu May 27, 2010 11:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
^^

Hehe, you're deep. I'll consider your words.

Trixta, it's too public here to say.
Author:  V3nu [ Fri May 28, 2010 9:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I'm always thinking of the final frontier - marriage, or at least settling with 'the one'
Quote:

Always looking into the future.
Always thinking about marriage.
Settling down with the one.

Don't forget to live and enjoy life.
See the world and do as much as you can.
You don't strike me that old, surely you want to change the world, make it better etc.
Set out to achieve your goals in life.

I sense a lot of social conditioning here.
The responses from the moderators if proof.

Beware of the class system that is still at work today......

Choose your miss perfect carefully.

And as for pua.
I would'nt worry about it.
Yah I agree, too many "IF'S" man, live now, read the "Power of Now" :P, you are worrying about something that doesn't exist yet....and maybe won't exist, millions of girls? mmmmmm

But at the same time you have a point, it's how Adam Lyons always says before his seminars, to all the guys beginning in the community "PUA is dangerous hobby and a lot of messed up shit will happened to you" (or something along thus lines and then goes on telling a story of some girl squirting blood or something like that).....

But in the end I think it's your decision how involved you want to be in the community, which affect your future, if your goal is to get laid every other night then yah you may get some problems in the future, but if you are looking for the "one" you don't have to sleep with many girls, right.....

Or if you are still worried research more on Adam Lyons or even ask him in the "Adams' answering questions thread", he was named #1 PUA and got married last year, ask him the same question you asked in the beginning, I would actually be interested in how he responds....
Author:  johnchangmai [ Fri May 28, 2010 6:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Deep eh....?

I just think that you are preparing for the next phase in your life and looking to far ahead INSTEAD OF CONCENTRATING ON RIGHT NOW.....!!!!!!

Now is the time.................now.........now........now. ha ha ha.

To use a stupid star wars quote from master YODA.

Watch the bit when Yoda refers to Obi wan while in conversation with luke.

ALWAYS LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE AND WORRYING ABOUT THIS AND THAT INSTEAD OF KEEPING HIS MIND ON THE RIGHT HERE,NOW.
Author:  R.G. [ Sat May 29, 2010 6:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
But in the end I think it's your decision how involved you want to be in the community, which affect your future, if your goal is to get laid every other night then yah you may get some problems in the future, but if you are looking for the "one" you don't have to sleep with many girls, right.....
This is a good point. I realised something more general that you have alluded to the other day - as PUAs I think we tend to think that everything has a solution, and if something's not working then it's your fault and you need to change. Sometimes, some things just are and it's more a case of damage reduction.

I was thinking about it in the context of personality - like some times I know in set I should do or say certain things but instead I might choose to amuse myself by doing something funny or stupid, which may lower attraction. But I find it funny, it's just my personality, which I won't compromise.

Buy yeah, I'll consider that too. I guess it is partly just a personal decision and one has to accept the consequences of his actions.
Quote:
Or if you are still worried research more on Adam Lyons or even ask him in the "Adams' answering questions thread", he was named #1 PUA and got married last year, ask him the same question you asked in the beginning, I would actually be interested in how he responds....
Thanks for the tip, I would, but it's too much effort and I can't be bothered to wait for a reply. You could ask for me though, I'll reward you with a watermelon.

To JC:

Haha, I agree. I realised that several years ago though. Of course we should be in the now, but proponents of this movement can take it too far in the spoken word without actually realising what it means in practice. It's important to be proactive and to think before you act.

Loving that Yoda quote by the way :). That boy is HOT STUFF.

xx
Author:  johnchangmai [ Sun May 30, 2010 12:19 am ]
Post subject: 
O.k.

One last thing.

Your last line about searching other countries for women with different cultures.


I think this would be a great idea, speaking from experiance.

I will tell you a brief story about a conversation i had with a norwegian and a french guy when i was in the far east 10 years ago.

Just for information both these guys looked like film stars, very good looking.
We were talking about how tough if was to talk to women in our own respective countries.

We went out pulling women all asian (thai,chinese etc).
And no they were not bar girls.
We were unstopable.

Both the guys realised something.......................

John you must come to norway.
John you must come to paris.(apparantly french/norwegian women in clubs are very hard to pull the better looking they are).

I said
"If you guys can't pull 10's in your own country what chance do i have and i don't speak the language."

Ah they said.

You are not NORWEGIAN.
you are not FRENCH.

Its all to easy.
Author:  R.G. [ Mon May 31, 2010 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
John that's pretty awesome. Must have been an awesome night too. There's something very special, a bit like a rare vintage wine, about going out with very skilled PUAs and putting your names on a night.

I understand your point, and agree with it. Just as an English accent can get you pretty far with girls in many parts abroad.
Author:  jlizzle [ Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:35 am ]
Post subject: 
If your in public office just become religious. Everyone will forgive you, AND you'll have a larger demographic!
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