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PUA advice fucks you up?
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Author:  AdamThomas [ Sun May 02, 2010 7:16 pm ]
Post subject:  PUA advice fucks you up?
When I first started reading David Deangelo's stuff I did great. I got quite a few girls attracted to me and I got my first girlfriend using his cocky funny stuff. I could handle girls easily and they wouldn't bother me.

I feel like since I've read so much PUA material I've got worse at game. I think analysing it too much overcomplicates things.

Before I read anything other than David Deangelo stuff, I had a few girls on the go, if they tested me in anyway it wouldn't bother me because I had other girls and I could easily just next them and still have fun with the other girls I was gaming. Gaming was fun.

As I started to study more material, it seemed like girls testing me, flaking on me and girls that just weren't interested in me affected me a lot more. It's was if game had become more about satisfying my ego than actually having fun with girls.

It probably is my own fault for reading into it too much, and its probably a good thing that I've noticed this and fixed it.

I just want to say that even thought I'm not the best PUA here, I think reading too much material hurts your game.
Author:  phhhhhhttttt [ Mon May 03, 2010 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:  ur right in a way
ur right,but id say it depends what kind of person you are,when I started I played sport and used to spend alot of time thinking of that through out the day,then I kind off decided to give sport up for a while and concentrate on "pick up"and its wasnt a good idea started reading into everything too much,and needless to say things got abit shit.At the time didnt know anything bout inner game assumed mine was grand and refused learn routines,just kinda took some of the tactics and the general structure of a pick-up and went with it.But for some reason thought I had to talk ALL the time which was exhausting and probably annoying for other people.Now I have been lookin into inner game which probably more important than outer.Cos when ya meet a guy that says fuck all and still gets loads of girls it will confuse and annoy the shit out of you.
Author:  tekryder [ Tue May 04, 2010 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 
my friend said that when i showed him some of the material.. i basically look at it with the idea that everyone can benefit from self-improvement as this material is typically used for, and he says "well dont let that stuff get to you, just be yourself" etc.. well im tired of being myself, it doesnt work. haha.

But i can understand what your saying, you get in to where theres soo many techniques and you start to notice things and then take them too seriously when in face they probably dont mean anything.
Author:  F_I_X_E_R [ Tue May 04, 2010 9:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Hmm

Typical advice - "Just be yourself!"

Lol, Then who have I been the last 18 years? Lol
Author:  The Doctor [ Thu May 06, 2010 7:52 am ]
Post subject: 
I would definitely say that to much PUA advice can mess you up bad. Yes, I know that probably sounds counter intuitive from a guy who makes his living teaching this stuff and has studied the hell out of it but its true.

To explain a bit more, a lot of guys get what I like to call "paralysis by analysis"... basically you think so much about the interaction that you aren't doing enough. There are many parts to all of this that can make you successful... I teach an inner game/sphere of influence/lifestyle approach some guys base there "methods" on other things. No matter what it's based on however, each element has 2 sides if you will. The "mechanics" and the "feel".

I like to use baseball as an example since I played a lot of it growing up, however I could just as easily use video games or virtually anything that you can progressively get better at to illustrate my point.

So if you want to learn to be a great pitcher in baseball, you must first learn some mechanics. Maybe your naturally gifted maybe not but for this we will assume you are not that great naturally. You need to first learn how to throw, the basic mechanics and then you need to "get a feel" for them. You need to become comfortable with your base mechanics before moving on to far. While we are still working on getting the basics dailed in we might talk about grips and some basic pitches... be we probably wouldn't talk about something like effective velocity coefficients of the different areas of the strikezone... it's too much.

Also another side of the "feel" is how when you become proficient at something, sometimes for no really good reason you just know what will work... you can't explain why, it's almost like your psychic or something... you just know. Well there actually is a psychological explaination for this (unconscious competence) but for this article we don't need to go into a lot of depth here. We just need to know that if you take in to much info without enough practice... your "mechanics" will be akward and forced.

So to solve this problem, figure out what type of guy you'd like to be like. What type of "game" you want to have. If you want to be very loud and flashy like a magician try MM, if you delight in feeling as though you've "cheating the system" try SS, You want to be more of a direct guy check out GWM, you want to be the social center of large groups of women talk to me. The thing is many people go to far with each type, if you want to test then cool test each out, but remember the saying "jack of all trades, master of none"
Author:  Ezo [ Thu May 06, 2010 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would say that the information wont hurt you if you can handle it.

It is when it gets too confusing that it is a bad thing. Just remember than what people write is not necessarily the truth, just their truth. There are so many gurus out there and so many different approaches that it is overwhelming sometimes. But they all basically say the same thing. If you reach the point where you are awesome, you wont ever need it again.

So just read and figure out in what way the new knowledge can make you awesome. If it doesnt, forget it, if it does, try it out.
Author:  Knuckle Bomb [ Thu May 06, 2010 10:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't think about it so much. In fact, take the time you are spending going through all this stuff in your head and convert it instead into thoughts concerning your career, hopes, dreams, goals. I was at a point once when I was lost to this line of thinking, and it drove me mad for quite a while. Some time later, I had made a concrete decision on what I wanted to do with my life, and all of my free time became occupied with it. For me it was video game design. When I wasn't at home working on my computer, no matter where I was I was thinking about new ideas or how to solve a problem I had encountered the day before. Before I knew it, I was talking about it... to everyone. I don't even consciously worry about PUA material, IOI's, or openers anymore.

It's not that the material is bad, but more that if someone is completely investing themself into it and not focusing on anything else then it will begin to have a detrimental effect on their results. You would cease to be yourself, the man underneath what all this is designed to project in the first place. Empty once we go beyond the suave seduction techniques, and this is exactly what most men hitting on these women are, too. It's the reason she has these tests and shields; they are designed to weed out the men who don't actually have anything going on in their lives.

Think about it... I spend my time doing what has got to be one of the nerdiest things a man can do in the eyes of the world - computer programming. And it has only helped my game skyrocket. It has less to do with what I do, and everything to do with the fact that I am doing what I want to do, and am working towards a goal of becoming independent doing it. These other guys around me don't possess half of my ambition, assuredness, or drive. Women pick up on this, as it makes me confident without trying to be. Have a dream - it doesn't matter what it is, just so long as it is yours, and you are more concerned about yourself than the opinions of others. Inner game all the way. Hope this is somewhat helpful.
Author:  Darkst0rm [ Fri May 07, 2010 12:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Dave is right on target with the "paralysis by analysis". That's part of my problem as far as my social shyness goes: I start thinking about what I want to say before I have to, then I start worrying about saying the wrong thing, next I start worrying about my worrying....I just lock up like a deer caught in the headlights. :( Over-analyzing is definitely evil.

And I like the comment about "unconscious competence". I know where that comes from, but to simplify, it's basically another name for mastery. Bruce Lee has a good line in his "Tao of Jeet Kune Do" where he emphasizes that attack and defense forms are only useful in that they are meant to be eventually forgotten....that is, learn something so well that you don't have to think about it anymore, it just happens instinctually when it's needed (ie, using the clutch and gear shift in a car, tying your shoes, or writing your signature).
Author:  joe182 [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
you want to be the social center of large groups of women talk to me.
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE O_o
Author:  johnchangmai [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good advice given above.

If you live life in the fast lane, slow it down a bit.

Thanks to the internet (this site) there is far to much information to take in.
Your head is now full of all sort of shit that you don't really know what to do with.

Paralysis By Analysis

A very good point made.

Take a step back, relax


I would spend the next month growing a beard, just because you are man.
Author:  Apocalypto [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 11:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Focus on a few key pieces of information and shut out the rest. Dont get distracted.
Author:  PlayHer Man [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: PUA advice fucks you up?
Quote:
When I first started reading David Deangelo's stuff I did great. I got quite a few girls attracted to me and I got my first girlfriend using his cocky funny stuff. I could handle girls easily and they wouldn't bother me.

I feel like since I've read so much PUA material I've got worse at game. I think analysing it too much overcomplicates things.

Before I read anything other than David Deangelo stuff, I had a few girls on the go, if they tested me in anyway it wouldn't bother me because I had other girls and I could easily just next them and still have fun with the other girls I was gaming. Gaming was fun.

As I started to study more material, it seemed like girls testing me, flaking on me and girls that just weren't interested in me affected me a lot more. It's was if game had become more about satisfying my ego than actually having fun with girls.

It probably is my own fault for reading into it too much, and its probably a good thing that I've noticed this and fixed it.

I just want to say that even thought I'm not the best PUA here, I think reading too much material hurts your game.
I can related to this. I did best and had the most fun when I first started out from reading limited material. I think there are several reasons for this:

1. The whole thing was fresh and new.. so that made it more exciting and fun

2. I was still being myself and only using PUA knowledge as guidlines

3. My ego wasn't in it because I was new to it.

The problem that came up later was success made my ego bigger. As you're ego gets bigger your standards get higher. Also as you read more PUA material you start over thinking situations when they don't work out.

Also.. PUA material can give you a negative view of women and even make you dislike them. You start to believe they are all manipulative, shallow gold diggers. Because you are so fake in your dealings with them you assume they are just as fake in their dealings with you. You start to mistake genuine feelings for manipulation. Believe it or not.. disliking women will hurt your game. You will give off a resentful vibe.

I learned that its better to be who you are and just use PUA material as guidlines for MEETING women.

Having a little of that naive.. "All women are beautiful and amazing" thought process actually makes you more attractive to them. Just like women who love everything about men are hard to resist.
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