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Giving IOI's
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=66272		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  StreetLight [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 9:26 am ]
Post subject:  Giving IOI's
A lot of the guys here are really concerned about counting the IOI's they get. And some are really afraid to show any interest in the girl
"she smelled I want her" "I didn't show any interest off course" "So I ignored her".. whatever

I think there is a very important thing to remember, even if you don't go direct from the start, you HAVE to show interest. You cannot expect a girl to react to you sexually if you don't want her. Off course you don't need to give yourself away from the start but you have to show you're intentions, she has to understand that you want her as well as she wants you. If you'll be "too cool for school" all the way, or youre going to be cool and interesting but not interested at all. She is going to go with that other guy, who might be not "the shit" like you but he at least appreciates her.

And another thing... a real Alpha, WILL show interested if he wants something, It doesn't make you less Alpha to show youre emotions, on the contrary, you are not afraid of youre emotions.
Author:  Ezo [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 11:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Good post! Might I add that playing too cool for school is a common way to avoid closing. A lot of people have closing anxiety as well as AA. What if she says no. Telling people that you are not interested gives you an excuse as to why you didnt close. While you were actually to scared to.
Author:  ~Finesse [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Balance.

Show interest, but show no need. Balance interest with disinterest.


Quote:
And another thing... a real Alpha,
^LOL

How hilarious. Stop worrying about being alpha. Stop trying to be alpha. It's the most transparent and UN-'alpha' thing to do.

Keep worrying about how to 'prove yourself as a man', and just go further down the road of proving yourself to be a loser.





1up
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~Finesse
Author:  Ezo [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 2:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Stop worrying about being alpha. Stop trying to be alpha.
This is exactly what he is doing.
Author:  R.G. [ Sun Apr 25, 2010 8:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
I very much agree with StreetLight and it's a good point particularly for PUAs starting out. Also very much agree with Ezo - it's something I see in field in other PUAs a lot.

I think the important thing is to "learn" how to compliment, or give IOIs. We learn a lot of techniques from reading but showing interest for some reason seems to be overlooked.

A good starting point is studying psychological research on the effects of compliments. A quick 10 minute scan will show you that a compliment strongly increases attraction if it is accepted, and it is accepted usually if there is already a degree of attraction (or, more broadly, compliance). The key is to learn how to compliment.

Over time my style has shifted to a much more flattery and compliment-based approach. I give a lot of IOIs. The key is when you can pretty much say any compliment - it can be a load of bullshit and she'll just be like "awww thanks" or "awww that's so cute".

This approach fits a lot more with a lot of guys' natural personality - rather than playing games and hard to get, they just express their true feelings of appreciation. This is a positive way to pick up, and raises everyone's value.

The other benefit of showing your interest early is so that if the girl is not interested, you can move on and get results else where. A lot of PUAs seem to advocate this though I think that's just playing the "numbers game", in which case you're not leveraging your skills in game very well.
Author:  ~Finesse [ Mon Apr 26, 2010 3:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Over time my style has shifted to a much more flattery and compliment-based approach. I give a lot of IOIs. The key is when you can pretty much say any compliment - it can be a load of bullshit and she'll just be like "awww thanks" or "awww that's so cute".
Flattery is fake and false, if you're using 'flattery', then you shouldn't be trying to tell people how to use compliments. Flattery is the most insincere form of a compliment, and is done clearly because you want something from the other person. You need to work on your game big time if youre advocating using 'flattery'.
Quote:
The other benefit of showing your interest early is so that if the girl is not interested, you can move on and get results else where. A lot of PUAs seem to advocate this though I think that's just playing the "numbers game", in which case you're not leveraging your skills in game very well.

I'm glad you pointed this out as a numbers game. But in that sense, when playing a numbers game, why you even bothering with the community, may aswell just ultimatum chicks (as that is essentially what you're doing), then that doesn't really require any level of game at all.


I'm genuinely curious, Rafiel Gamble... you're aware that by using this method you essentially sell yourself short and miss out on a lot of hot chicks?

I appreciate you may not like putting in the effort/skill to use a more tactful method of gaming, is this why you do it? You prefer throwing out a few bait and seeing what hooks so to speak?


Im curious as you're the first person who seems to realise what that sort of game is... also, do you believe that attraction can be created? Or do you believe it's either there or not?


apologies on the 'tone' of this message, it sounds very hostile/challenging, it's late and I'm slightly busy, so trying to cut straight to point, probably sounding harsh and blunt.


Much Love
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~Finesse
Author:  StreetLight [ Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
well in a way PUA is sort of like a number game, you do aproach a lot untill you get to something. You absolutely can't close all the girls there are there

And I think that he means compliment, as in he goes dierct and says what he thinks about the girl
Author:  R.G. [ Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
In response to some questions directed at me:
Quote:
apologies on the 'tone' of this message, it sounds very hostile/challenging, it's late and I'm slightly busy, so trying to cut straight to point, probably sounding harsh and blunt.
Don't worry I can be the same, that's fine :).
Quote:
Flattery is fake and false, if you're using 'flattery', then you shouldn't be trying to tell people how to use compliments. Flattery is the most insincere form of a compliment, and is done clearly because you want something from the other person. You need to work on your game big time if youre advocating using 'flattery'.
StreetLight answered this for me:
Quote:
And I think that he means compliment, as in he goes dierct and says what he thinks about the girl
I'm not going to get too tied down into the definition of a word, but perhaps I could have used a more appropriate word. What's in a name... ;).
Quote:
Quote:

The other benefit of showing your interest early is so that if the girl is not interested, you can move on and get results else where. A lot of PUAs seem to advocate this though I think that's just playing the "numbers game", in which case you're not leveraging your skills in game very well.



I'm glad you pointed this out as a numbers game. But in that sense, when playing a numbers game, why you even bothering with the community, may aswell just ultimatum chicks (as that is essentially what you're doing), then that doesn't really require any level of game at all.
You just repeated me here, buddy; i.e. my point about not leveraging skills in game very well meets the same end as you saying why even bother with the community. Not sure if my thrust was clear here; I don't approve of or play the numbers game from a personal standpoint.
Quote:
I'm genuinely curious, Rafiel Gamble... you're aware that by using this method you essentially sell yourself short and miss out on a lot of hot chicks?
No, I'm not aware of that. Something you read in a book, perhaps?
Quote:
I appreciate you may not like putting in the effort/skill to use a more tactful method of gaming, is this why you do it? You prefer throwing out a few bait and seeing what hooks so to speak?
No, that's the opposite of my style. I think you're taking what I said and "seeing what you are looking for", so to speak.
Quote:
Im curious as you're the first person who seems to realise what that sort of game is... also, do you believe that attraction can be created? Or do you believe it's either there or not?
Of course attraction can be created. If it could not be, the pickup community as we know it would not exist.
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