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Getting Over Your Fear of Escalation
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Author:  Sixty Years of Challenge [ Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Getting Over Your Fear of Escalation
A few of you guys asked me about vibe escalation - here is something I just wrote up that hopefully will help


Getting Over Your Fear of Escalation
By 60 Years of Challenge


One of the biggest fears guys have is revealing that they are interested in a woman. As a result, many aspiring seducers end up spending too much time in what is referred to as the "attraction phase". This is quite amusing because in my opinion there is no separate attraction phase. In fact, most of my easiest and fastest seductions all had one important thing in common. The attraction and escalation stages were happening at the same time.

Escalation is Attractive

The first mindset to internalize is that escalation is an attractive quality. In fact, escalation may be the most important quality to display if you want to get a particular woman interested in you. Making such a bold move, especially quickly, shows confidence and immediately makes women notice you. Any average guy can make a move after they know a woman is definitely interested. Big deal.

Escalating The Vibe

Of course when I talk about escalating quickly as being attractive I'm not talking about groping or cat- calling women as they walk by. In fact it's just the opposite. Instead of worrying about complimenting or touching women, your initial focus should be on what I call escalating the vibe. Escalating vibe basically means the tone of your interactions should quickly progress from social and friendly to more seductive and serious. An example of a seductive vibe would be holding her gaze, moving very close to her and being comfortable with silence. By putting out just a little bit of seductive energy you can create lots of tension. And the good news is, tension between a man and a woman is usually felt as sexual tension.

Creepy or Connection?

Now here is where things get interesting. This feeling of tension you can create with your seductive vibe is similar to the physical symptoms a woman feels when she is attracted to a man. Her heart is beating fast, she starts blushing, and may even begin to feel nervous. In some cases, women will feel these same powerful emotions even if she is not officially attracted to you yet.

On the other hand, if a woman isn't enjoying your vibe she will interpret the tension you created as awkward. As such, she may respond by giving you the “you're kind of creepy" face. Unfortunately if you want to be a seducer of women and not a dancing monkey there is always the small risk of this happening. No worries. Her rejection of you will be non-verbal and you can both walk away and save face. It's not like you confessed your feelings or tried to kiss her and failed. However, if she has some interest in you that feeling of tension you created will make her feel even more attracted. You go from "kind of interesting" to "extremely sexy" in seconds.

How To Make it ON

By only revealing your interest with vibe, not verbally or physically, sexual tension will start to build. If she's interested in you she will long for a release to that tension. In other words, she secretly hopes that you are feeling this non-verbal connection too and it's not just her.

One way you can relieve some of her tension is by grabbing and then caressing her hand. Since you haven't touched her much, if at all, the first time you touch her hand creates a spark which can lead to mutual hand caressing. Ever had a time in your life when you first touched a woman’s hand and you both instantly felt a powerful physical connection. It's like that.

Seduce Her Non-Verbally

Most mainstream seduction advice puts a heavy emphasis on escalating verbally and physically. For example, I'm sure you have been told countless times to use teasing, touch her a lot and then go for the kiss. In my opinion escalating with seductive eye contact, silence and proximity can be way more powerful than anything you could ever say verbally or do physically. In fact, trying to escalate by touching her a lot can actually reduce sexual tension because she already knows your intentions.

I know many guys still view escalation as this scary moment of truth where they put it all on the line. However escalating the vibe is actually quite simple to do and virtually risk-free. It only requires being silent, listening and enjoying the amazing woman in front of you. Now that sounds like something any man can do.

Hope this helps!

Best,
Sixty
Author:  phangan [ Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
"As such, she may respond by giving you the “you're kind of creepy" face. Unfortunately if you want to be a seducer of women and not a dancing monkey there is always the small risk of this happening. No worries. Her rejection of you will be non-verbal and you can both walk away and save face."

The problem is that this is not true. In a club, once you get the "creep face" every single girl in a radius of 20 feet is going to see it / know about it (they girl code to each other "watch out from the creep") Once you get that look, you are OUT for the night at that venue. It's never a subtle face... they make it VERY obvious.
Author:  Warped Mindless [ Thu Jun 30, 2011 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"As such, she may respond by giving you the “you're kind of creepy" face. Unfortunately if you want to be a seducer of women and not a dancing monkey there is always the small risk of this happening. No worries. Her rejection of you will be non-verbal and you can both walk away and save face."

The problem is that this is not true. In a club, once you get the "creep face" every single girl in a radius of 20 feet is going to see it / know about it (they girl code to each other "watch out from the creep") Once you get that look, you are OUT for the night at that venue. It's never a subtle face... they make it VERY obvious.
No. Most clubs you can walk to the bathroom and walk back out and no one will remember you.

Also, girls don't go around "girl coding" every girl at the club, there is no big conspiracy going on between them and no one is out to get you. :)

Truth be told, unless your an A-list celebrity, no one pays that much attention to you in a club.
Author:  phangan [ Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
"As such, she may respond by giving you the “you're kind of creepy" face. Unfortunately if you want to be a seducer of women and not a dancing monkey there is always the small risk of this happening. No worries. Her rejection of you will be non-verbal and you can both walk away and save face."

The problem is that this is not true. In a club, once you get the "creep face" every single girl in a radius of 20 feet is going to see it / know about it (they girl code to each other "watch out from the creep") Once you get that look, you are OUT for the night at that venue. It's never a subtle face... they make it VERY obvious.
No. Most clubs you can walk to the bathroom and walk back out and no one will remember you.

Also, girls don't go around "girl coding" every girl at the club, there is no big conspiracy going on between them and no one is out to get you. :)

Truth be told, unless your an A-list celebrity, no one pays that much attention to you in a club.
OK... so when you are being fun and cool and you work the room everybody sees it and all sets will blow open because you have social proof but when it's the other way around and you suck and you are a creep - nobody cares.... right.

No.

I've been going out clubbing 4 nights a week for 4 years from 18 to 22 and every night in the last 3 months. Girls VERY MUCH code to each other. They also "join sets" (a few unrelated girl sets will join together) to protect themselves when there is some lunatic / creep proxing them.

If it's a mega club with 500 people then yea, you can move around and nobody know but in a normal club, if you get the creep look 2-3 times - you are done for the night guaranteed. Girls see this shit from a mile. Open a set and get rejected - no other girl who saw it will open to you. ("something must be wrong with him" "if he is not good enough for her, he is not good enough for me")
Author:  Warped Mindless [ Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
"As such, she may respond by giving you the “you're kind of creepy" face. Unfortunately if you want to be a seducer of women and not a dancing monkey there is always the small risk of this happening. No worries. Her rejection of you will be non-verbal and you can both walk away and save face."

The problem is that this is not true. In a club, once you get the "creep face" every single girl in a radius of 20 feet is going to see it / know about it (they girl code to each other "watch out from the creep") Once you get that look, you are OUT for the night at that venue. It's never a subtle face... they make it VERY obvious.
No. Most clubs you can walk to the bathroom and walk back out and no one will remember you.

Also, girls don't go around "girl coding" every girl at the club, there is no big conspiracy going on between them and no one is out to get you. :)

Truth be told, unless your an A-list celebrity, no one pays that much attention to you in a club.
OK... so when you are being fun and cool and you work the room everybody sees it and all sets will blow open because you have social proof but when it's the other way around and you suck and you are a creep - nobody cares.... right.

No.

I've been going out clubbing 4 nights a week for 4 years from 18 to 22 and every night in the last 3 months. Girls VERY MUCH code to each other. They also "join sets" (a few unrelated girl sets will join together) to protect themselves when there is some lunatic / creep proxing them.

If it's a mega club with 500 people then yea, you can move around and nobody know but in a normal club, if you get the creep look 2-3 times - you are done for the night guaranteed. Girls see this shit from a mile. Open a set and get rejected - no other girl who saw it will open to you. ("something must be wrong with him" "if he is not good enough for her, he is not good enough for me")
Social proof is one of the most overrated concept in the community. Seriously, no one in the club pays that much attention to you.

And 4 nights a week for 4 years? Maybe the limiting beliefs you have is why your still seeking answers to simple questions: need-your-advice-on-street-k-closed-gir ... highlight=
Author:  Pixy [ Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Club with over 500 people isn't a MEGA club. :lol:
Author:  YouWish99 [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting Over Your Fear of Escalation
Quote:
In my opinion escalating with seductive eye contact, silence and proximity can be way more powerful than anything you could ever say verbally or do physically.
Ever see the movie Tangled? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0Re-Kec ... re=related

Yeah...

I'm kidding, but on a more serious note one of the biggest problems guys have when it comes to escalation is most guys don't understand why they are escalating in the first place. Well, that and they believe that all touch is created equal or that's to say a touch is a touch is a touch. No distinction is made between being seductive and sexual and the concept of being discreet never even enters the picture.

A lot of this can be cleared up by not thinking of the parts of seduction as phases, but rather as a prerequisite. A phase calls to mind a set block of time and a set number of items to be completed whereas a prerequisite simply asks a Yes/No question before moving on to the next moment.
Author:  phangan [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
And 4 nights a week for 4 years? Maybe the limiting beliefs you have is why your still seeking answers to simple questions: need-your-advice-on-street-k-closed-gir ... highlight=
Dude, I'm seeking answers for simple questions bcz I've been out of the game for 9 years.

However... I just don't understand how can we have such different opinions about social proof and people "not paying attention" to you. In my view there is just no way in the world that you can be right on this one. Girls see everything.... they SEE ALL.

When I'm proofed sets BLOW open, girls come over to me and ask my name etc. On the other hand, on some other night, if I get burned, sets in that area will not open no matter what, unless the rejection was covert.

Do you want to tell me that you never noticed that girls that walk with other guys DREW YOUR ATTENTION more than girls that are walking with other girls ???

I think you just have no regard for your environment and you're just so focused on what you want that you don't care and can't see what happens around you.

That's a GOOD THING, I WISH I HAD THE SAME MINDSET.

But it screws your social observation skills. Pre selection / Social proof (and it's mirrored negative side) is maybe the most verifiable element in behavioral science.
Author:  YouWish99 [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Do you want to tell me that you never noticed that girls that walk with other guys DREW YOUR ATTENTION more than girls that are walking with other girls ???
And THAT sir is the most important aspect of social proof in the club environment.

Befriend the guys in the club to build social proof and to keep them from cock blocking so that when the club lets out and everyone is hanging around on the street (the best time and place to game for night game in my opinion) you can do your real approaches.

You don't have to shout over music, the mind set changes from "I want to have fun" to "Hmmm, who do I want to go home with", people are being social and usually getting late night food, and it adds some pressure to run X number of sets in that 1:30am to 2:45am window.

Social proof matters. Not as much in some places and situations as others, but it still matters.
Author:  phangan [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Good post. I think you should open sets in the club anyway but if that doesn't work then after closing time game is good and early proof will help.

Social proof is king... if you're in a club with 7-8 people mixed girls and guys together - you can practically go around and collect numbers from girls without even talking with them. They will assume you're all cool guys (bcz of the girls) and would like to know you. You can just walk to girls say "hi you seem cute listen I'm here with my buddies so I can't talk for long but if you give me your number I will call you and we can get to know each other". If you're with a large entourage that's ALL you need, nothing else. (assuming body langauge , tonality, blablabla)
Author:  YouWish99 [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, I sometimes game in the club without issue, though I've found the other way to be more efficient. I'm not really a club guy so if I'm at the club it was probably because a friend working at the club asked me to stop by, there is a specific DJ playing at the club, or I was doing something else and somebody said, "Hey, let's go to the club," on a whim.

The problem with having an entourage is the more people you add the longer it takes to make decisions of any sort. It is a bit of a crutch, as you probably won't have your social circle around all the time.

My motto is the shorter the material the better. That opener is already much longer than anything I'd use.

Getting back to 60's post the way I see it is a guy that is afraid of escalating is going to also have issues with eye contact. A good verbal way to build the same sort of tension is to come across as a guy that likes women and sex (direct basically), but at the same time be more ambiguous as to whether or not you're into her specifically.
Author:  Tasty [ Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
great post sixty!

I think what helps me most is that there is alwasy that small window of opportunity to go for the touch on her thigh, shoulder, hand, whatever. A little too late, it will become awkward and uncalibrated. She is expecting me to touch her. I've had times where I was thinking "damn I should go for the escalation right now" then I hesitate, and start freaking out in my mind. By that time it's all over, i'm inside of my head, nervous, and hating myself for not escalating. Similar to the space of doom, where you are awkwardly 3 feet away from her even after 5 minutes, and only gets weirder every second that passes.

I think it comes down to avoiding being creepy. I know you say to RISK being creepy, but this is a little different. Same goes for kissing. very small window available, where tension is at its highest.

I avoid this by touching her, anywhere, arm, shoulder, leg. Doesnt matter. I dont think about it in steps or anything.
Author:  mii [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Can you expand on the idea of revealing your interest with vibe?
Author:  skills360 [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Social proof super important at clubs, that is why i always advice club with many rooms, or going from club to club, if a girl or anybody see you get rejected will be hard to open whoever saw that in a club, i would go to another corner or try to open in a way were no one can see you get rejected...Club game is none verbal a lot of the 60 stuff i have been, as a natural, doing at the club for years, there must be or get her to attraction i do that with dancing and touching...
Author:  Gaius [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Probably the only relevant method in PUA other than Gunwitch. The rest is cultist BS.
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