PUA Forum :: For inner game teachers and learners.

the person in question is trying to force their reality on someone else. Trying to place their world onto someone who is nothing like them, doesn't have their experienes, life story, background, or more importantly beliefs.......

All these people telling the less fortunate that the problems that the new guys are experience with women are all delusions and false.

To achieve anything, you need to plan out what you want, when you want it and how you are going to get it.

they are all guidelines, and that's what they'll ever be.

Guidelines to what?

Guidelines to a goal.

most innergame threads are goal orientated. It can give people more insight to a very abstract matter. It can give people more motivation for striving towards that goal by shedding a little light upon the path. You might compare it to building bricks, some pieces fit, some don't, some don't fit at this stage of your grand-project, so you check them out later.

You do realize that one of those posts is your own. I agree with what you say I just wanted to see if anyone else noticed it...

At one point your belief change, how come?

You know a certain belief "girls love to have sex" And yes, you may think that's not true.

Yet, you go out and you meet girls. You have sex with them. You realize that girls DO love sex. You gather reference experience to back that claim up.

And tada, you have adopted the belief "girls love sex"

This is just an example. Replace "girls love sex" with any other belief.

You encounter 1 bump in your belief, you think: That's weird, nvm. You encounter another one, "okay......" and another 5 follow. "something's wrong here" and another 6 will make you realize something new.

Reference experience.

This is what I was aiming at in my thread. You get confident by realizing your fears won't kill you. Do something you're afraid of doing and waking up in bed->you're still alive.

A goal and a desire? How are those different. Why should you try to achieve a goal you don't desire to achieve. That's ridiculous.

Quote:

Or establishing an effective plan of action that you know works?

Quote:

Or establishing an effective plan of action that you know works?

Read my thread.

Pay attention to the first sentence.

Quote:

Or establishing an effective plan of action that you know works?

Read my thread.

Pay attention to the first sentence.

How does a belief form... EXPERIENCE.

The threads I am discussing don't even point the way to have that experience they just describe a subjective state of mind.

BECAUSE you develop confidence by facing your fears and doubt you MUST go out. It is easier than spending 5 months reading through inner game shit while feeling awkward.

Go out one night, face your biggest fear and I promise you. You'll feel like a god.

Quote:

Read my thread.

Pay attention to the first sentence.

How does a belief form... EXPERIENCE.

The threads I am discussing don't even point the way to have that experience they just describe a subjective state of mind.

Quote:

-img-src-templates-boudoir-images-iconm ... tml#335031

Author:	Fin [ Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:02 am ]
Post subject:	For inner game teachers and learners.
who-gives-a-fuck-vt63799.html fins-multi-post-musing-thread-more-to-c ... highlight= the-difference-between-ego-and-confiden ... highlight= What's wrong with all these posts? Well all of them are fitting this pattern... ------------ The world is like this..... You have to believe in....... I see things like..... ----------- How on earth could those posts help anyone? You see in these posts, -and I'm not picking on these people- the person in question is trying to force their reality on someone else. Trying to place their world onto someone who is nothing like them, doesn't have their experienes, life story, background, or more importantly beliefs. How many times have you been told in PU to be more confident? To believe you can do anything? To feel like a sexy mother-fucker? All these people telling the less fortunate that the problems that the new guys are experience with women are all delusions and false. What they fail to realise is that these people at some point have gotten confidence, and as a result our attitudes have affetced our behavour which has gotten us results re-inforcing our attitudes. If you become confident in your sexual ablities and pulling prowess your body language will change, how you inter-act will change, how you treat yourself and look after yourself will change, hell even your "neutral" facial expression will change! All these things make you more attractive, and this loops back giving you the results of being attractive, re-inforcing the belief that you are attractive. People often tell those who are struggling, they need to believe in themselves, that they just need to not care anymore, that they need to lead, to become more social, to become more positive. That their negativity and beliefs about themselves are false. Well those beliefs aren't. For the people with self esteem issues and AA issues, those problems are very real, and they have a mountain of evidence to back those beliefs up. Right from the rejection yesterday by the cashier to 11 years ago at the school dance. ------------------ As long as the physical "real" world stays the same for these guys, there mental one won't change either. You can't just describe your beliefs (the healthty ones anyway) and expect people to believe them. Fact is everyone wants to be more confident, to not care about whether they get rejected on the cold approach, told be cooler, calmer and more relaxed in social situations. All you do when you tell someone about your inner game theory is tell them what they want and they go... "Great, that's exactly what I want to believe... .....so.... how do I get there again?" Fact is these posts to point out a pragmatic plan in any way. I want to be more confident is NOT goal, it's just a desire. To achieve anything, you need to plan out what you want, when you want it and how you are going to get it. The rules of the game IMO is one of the best inner game books there is. Why? It lays out in detail what you are doing to gain confidence, buying clothes, filling up your calendar with events you want to attend , meeting friends, taking good care of your hygiene, excersise, playing music to boost your mood... all that stuff shows a clear cut path which combined with in-field practise brings about good inner game naturally. I'll chime back in later.

Author:	Marc [ Mon Mar 15, 2010 8:37 am ]
Post subject:	Re: For inner game teachers and learners.
Good Honest Post Quote: the person in question is trying to force their reality on someone else. Trying to place their world onto someone who is nothing like them, doesn't have their experienes, life story, background, or more importantly beliefs....... All these people telling the less fortunate that the problems that the new guys are experience with women are all delusions and false. The Inner Game posts are merely a reflection of the phase and state of mind of the OP - His reality, may not hold true for everyone though someone could identify with some part of the post its imp to understand the steps taken, experiences etc.. of the posters. 'The Game' is hence a good book of a man who worked on his inner game and transformed into the world's greatest PUA.

Author:	Marc [ Mon Mar 15, 2010 8:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: For inner game teachers and learners.
Quote: To achieve anything, you need to plan out what you want, when you want it and how you are going to get it. If you can Follow this for the rest of your life you'd be Hugely Successful in all walks of life. Need not be a Perfect Plan but its still better than nothing

Author:	Jav [ Mon Mar 15, 2010 1:08 pm ]
Post subject:
they are all guidelines, and that's what they'll ever be.

Author:	Fin [ Mon Mar 15, 2010 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: they are all guidelines, and that's what they'll ever be. They're not guidlines, just descriptions of states that people want to attain.

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Author:	Jav [ Mon Mar 15, 2010 4:03 pm ]
Post subject:
Guidelines to what? Guidelines to a goal. most innergame threads are goal orientated. It can give people more insight to a very abstract matter. It can give people more motivation for striving towards that goal by shedding a little light upon the path. You might compare it to building bricks, some pieces fit, some don't, some don't fit at this stage of your grand-project, so you check them out later.

Author:	Fin [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 12:54 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Guidelines to what? Guidelines to a goal. most innergame threads are goal orientated. It can give people more insight to a very abstract matter. It can give people more motivation for striving towards that goal by shedding a little light upon the path. You might compare it to building bricks, some pieces fit, some don't, some don't fit at this stage of your grand-project, so you check them out later. Motivation as in what? Telling them... this is what confidence feels like.... That's not motivation, setting out a path motivates people, counciling someone and giving advice that is SPECEFIC to THEIR situation motivates people. Just telling someone about a desireable state of mind does not produce any motivation to get it, outside of making them want to get that state of mind. How about guidelines then.. or goals? When you read these threads you go "Cool I want to think and feel like that guy"... that's a desire, it's not a goal that's quantifiable with any objective way to reach it, it's not on any timescale nor does it provide any guidlines or plans to achieve it.

Author:	Ezo [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:44 am ]
Post subject:
You do realize that one of those posts is your own. I agree with what you say I just wanted to see if anyone else noticed it...

Author:	Fin [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:52 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: You do realize that one of those posts is your own. I agree with what you say I just wanted to see if anyone else noticed it... Yup, I decided it was the best way to demonstrate that I'm not biased by picking on myself.

Author:	Jav [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:53 pm ]
Post subject:
At one point your belief change, how come? You know a certain belief "girls love to have sex" And yes, you may think that's not true. Yet, you go out and you meet girls. You have sex with them. You realize that girls DO love sex. You gather reference experience to back that claim up. And tada, you have adopted the belief "girls love sex" This is just an example. Replace "girls love sex" with any other belief. You encounter 1 bump in your belief, you think: That's weird, nvm. You encounter another one, "okay......" and another 5 follow. "something's wrong here" and another 6 will make you realize something new. Reference experience. This is what I was aiming at in my thread. You get confident by realizing your fears won't kill you. Do something you're afraid of doing and waking up in bed->you're still alive. A goal and a desire? How are those different. Why should you try to achieve a goal you don't desire to achieve. That's ridiculous.

Author:	Fin [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: At one point your belief change, how come? You know a certain belief "girls love to have sex" And yes, you may think that's not true. Yet, you go out and you meet girls. You have sex with them. You realize that girls DO love sex. You gather reference experience to back that claim up. And tada, you have adopted the belief "girls love sex" This is just an example. Replace "girls love sex" with any other belief. You encounter 1 bump in your belief, you think: That's weird, nvm. You encounter another one, "okay......" and another 5 follow. "something's wrong here" and another 6 will make you realize something new. Reference experience. This is what I was aiming at in my thread. You get confident by realizing your fears won't kill you. Do something you're afraid of doing and waking up in bed->you're still alive. A goal and a desire? How are those different. Why should you try to achieve a goal you don't desire to achieve. That's ridiculous. You can describe confidence, but what gives confidence? Reading about confidence? Or establishing an effective plan of action that you know works? A goal and a desire are diffferent in that a desire is just a want, a goal lets you achieve that want by giving you a way forward.

Author:	Jav [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:25 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: At one point your belief change, how come? You know a certain belief "girls love to have sex" And yes, you may think that's not true. Yet, you go out and you meet girls. You have sex with them. You realize that girls DO love sex. You gather reference experience to back that claim up. And tada, you have adopted the belief "girls love sex" This is just an example. Replace "girls love sex" with any other belief. You encounter 1 bump in your belief, you think: That's weird, nvm. You encounter another one, "okay......" and another 5 follow. "something's wrong here" and another 6 will make you realize something new. Reference experience. This is what I was aiming at in my thread. You get confident by realizing your fears won't kill you. Do something you're afraid of doing and waking up in bed->you're still alive. A goal and a desire? How are those different. Why should you try to achieve a goal you don't desire to achieve. That's ridiculous. Or establishing an effective plan of action that you know works? Read my thread. Pay attention to the first sentence.

Author:	Fin [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:32 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Quote: At one point your belief change, how come? You know a certain belief "girls love to have sex" And yes, you may think that's not true. Yet, you go out and you meet girls. You have sex with them. You realize that girls DO love sex. You gather reference experience to back that claim up. And tada, you have adopted the belief "girls love sex" This is just an example. Replace "girls love sex" with any other belief. You encounter 1 bump in your belief, you think: That's weird, nvm. You encounter another one, "okay......" and another 5 follow. "something's wrong here" and another 6 will make you realize something new. Reference experience. This is what I was aiming at in my thread. You get confident by realizing your fears won't kill you. Do something you're afraid of doing and waking up in bed->you're still alive. A goal and a desire? How are those different. Why should you try to achieve a goal you don't desire to achieve. That's ridiculous. Or establishing an effective plan of action that you know works? Read my thread. Pay attention to the first sentence. How does a belief form... EXPERIENCE. The threads I am discussing don't even point the way to have that experience they just describe a subjective state of mind.

Author:	Jav [ Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:11 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Quote: Or establishing an effective plan of action that you know works? Read my thread. Pay attention to the first sentence. How does a belief form... EXPERIENCE. The threads I am discussing don't even point the way to have that experience they just describe a subjective state of mind. Quote: BECAUSE you develop confidence by facing your fears and doubt you MUST go out. It is easier than spending 5 months reading through inner game shit while feeling awkward. Go out one night, face your biggest fear and I promise you. You'll feel like a god. -img-src-templates-boudoir-images-iconm ... tml#335031

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Author:	Fin [ Wed Mar 17, 2010 12:18 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Quote: Read my thread. Pay attention to the first sentence. How does a belief form... EXPERIENCE. The threads I am discussing don't even point the way to have that experience they just describe a subjective state of mind. Quote: BECAUSE you develop confidence by facing your fears and doubt you MUST go out. It is easier than spending 5 months reading through inner game shit while feeling awkward. Go out one night, face your biggest fear and I promise you. You'll feel like a god. -img-src-templates-boudoir-images-iconm ... tml#335031 Well there we go, telling people they need to go out is more productive. But go out and do what? Just sarge, break in slowly? Quickly? All out? But it's a far better instruction to go out, rather than read posts!