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HOw DID I END Up Here-WHY DID I BLEADY END UP HERE
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Author:  Marc [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 6:48 am ]
Post subject:  HOw DID I END Up Here-WHY DID I BLEADY END UP HERE
Truely this could be a trouble some - Managing All Expectations. I like going out, meeting girls, socializing, dating these women and boy having great sex. But now I have ended up with 2 Girl from NYC, Another one from Chicago (Which is all good because I dont see them regularly). 3 in my own city and now I am almost finding it all very difficult to manage expectations. Plus every night there is someone or the other new that I keep meeting - YES I TOLD THEM ALL WHAT THE DEAL WAS, THAT I WASNT INTO A RELATIONSHIP. BUt girls have started expecting more oout of me now and I can see that they become a little upset when with my lack of commitment !

I am not pissed at them but on my OWN DARN SELF for not trying hard enough to KEEP TELLING THEM THAT THERE ISNT ANYTHING MORE !! I guess I should have listened to myself when I first thought that eventually all of these girls would start expecting more.......... I SHOULD HAVE BLEADY WELL KNOWN BETTER

KASABI, I am ready for you to BLAST ME WITH YOUR HONEST WORDS OF WISDOM, I can even take a word or two of crude curse if you want to spice it up .....
Author:  mrcoffee999888 [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Welcome to the game..

You can only string HB's along for so much time..

Than you either have to give them what they want, or cut it off...

It's the stringing along that PUA's generally pride themselves as being good at.
Author:  Fin [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 2:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Welcome to the game..

You can only string HB's along for so much time..

Than you either have to give them what they want, or cut it off...

It's the stringing along that PUA's generally pride themselves as being good at.
That's only true if you were to assume the falsehood that every girl wants by default a committed exclusive monogamous relationship.
Author:  Marc [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
That's only true if you were to assume the falsehood that every girl wants by default a committed exclusive monogamous relationship.
I thought so too ! And went along with believeing them that they didn't want a relationship :cry: Now with they getting upset for lack of committment I have to figure out a way of not hurting anyone and getting out of all this..aagggrrrr.... Probably I'll
(1)get them intro. to some great guys and let those guys alpha me out and pick them up or

(2) I might try going all AFC on them to make them lose attraction.

You advises are welcomed.
Author:  trixsta [ Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
What is wrong with clearly re-telling them and telling them they can take it or leave it?

They want more from you so remind them.

If they are clearly getting too attached then the best thing to do might be to cut them off for their sakeas well as your own.
Author:  Marc [ Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Txrista, that is the easy way out which is fine and diplomatic. But what would hurt less - The Bank taking away the BMW that you really liked, was yours & you wanted or you selling your old car which you have no use for dont care and ready to move onto something Better ?
Author:  SpeXXX [ Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's why I think that a freeze-out is a necessity when dealing with flings.
If you let them come too close to you, talking with them frequently will eventually make them develop some expectations in your interaction.
I mean, you can't blame them for having good time and wanting to keep that good warm feeling you give them by getting into LTR.

You obviously don't want this kind of relationship so there are some consequences you gotta take and one of them is just to move on and attract some new girls.

I, myself when I want only a fling, I play it all mysterious, but yet of course showing them very good time so they would want to get back in the future.

What you want is what you get, but you gotta realize also that people are moving on with their life and eventually want to end with CLOSE loving partner.
Author:  Marc [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:20 am ]
Post subject: 
SpeXXX You are abosulutely right, the number of times you meet them is key between flings and a 'Commited relationship'. I thought I was managing the dynamics well, but Aparently NOT.

Hobbit, I had to go ask them, so out of the 3 who are getting upset with lack of commitment, only one of them is seeking another guy-and now that I've found out she isnt even on the top of my concerns.
Author:  Fin [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
That's only true if you were to assume the falsehood that every girl wants by default a committed exclusive monogamous relationship.
I thought so too ! And went along with believeing them that they didn't want a relationship :cry: Now with they getting upset for lack of committment I have to figure out a way of not hurting anyone and getting out of all this..aagggrrrr.... Probably I'll
(1)get them intro. to some great guys and let those guys alpha me out and pick them up or

(2) I might try going all AFC on them to make them lose attraction.

You advises are welcomed.
This is actually a HUGE problem within MLTR's. Communication is vital in any relationship and especially in these scenarios. Unfortunatly alot of girls will say they are happy with the way things are in the hope of "winning you over".

I had a similar situation with a girl where she spent 4 months hoping I would change my mind, and as much as I did love her, I ended up hurting her.

Your only option is to tell them truthfully what you are looking for. You are not obliged in any way to forsake your nature for someone else. That is quite simply selfishness on their part.

Tell me value wise, what do you offer these girls? It may be that they are getting a certain value from you which they would normally associate with a committed relationship and they haven't quite gotten the emotional or sexual ability to account for the situation at hand.

What do you think the girls get out of you?

Fun? Sex? Or is there something stronger?
Author:  mrcoffee999888 [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Welcome to the game..

You can only string HB's along for so much time..

Than you either have to give them what they want, or cut it off...

It's the stringing along that PUA's generally pride themselves as being good at.
That's only true if you were to assume the falsehood that every girl wants by default a committed exclusive monogamous relationship.
This IS true. Not ALL girls are interested in a committed exclusive relationship.. However judging by the OP's targets desire for more commitment/anger for lack of exclusivity, I would stand by my post and say that this is the case.

I am in a situation right now where Myself and a girl are simply having sex, but with no intentions of ever being in an exclusive relationship.. This is obviously not stringing her along.. However, that does seem to be the case here..

You will just need to be direct, and say you have no interest in becoming exclusive..
Author:  Marc [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Fin, I dont know what they are getting from me that they aren't from other guys simply because I dont know what the other guys have to offer. But to answer your question, and from what you already know about me, Yes we have Fun, Great Fun, from movies to theaters to shows where ever we go(everyone of them) I play around, tease them have fun. By nature, I also treat them with a lot of respect( not pedestal but just the way a gentleman treats a girl). I am their friend too as in we discuss things about their careers too sometimes and how/what they could do to shape that as well, goals, passions in life. Yes the sex too is great but thats just one part of the equation.

I know its Selfishness on their part but part of being good with women is understanding where they come from and managing those emotions. Being blunt is the easy way out.

Hobbit, did we just say the same thing ? i.e. get them intro. to great guys and make them disqualify me. 8)

mrcoffee thanks for your input too, you make some good arguments and I agree with some of the things you have said. To be honest I think going really really slow with these girls could possibly let this whole thing die down too.. Well......I'd have to figure. Besides I am not a PUA by any means, just an avg. Joe.
Author:  madals [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Be honest.
You will lose some, keep some and others will be even happier.

Did you keep the boundary of the relationship clear at all points? Not just verbally but also in how you acted etc.

For example, if I had made it clear the terms of a relationship then the second they tried to push for more I would say something. This is where you have to be honest all the time to avoid problems like this.

Most guys are more than willing to say anything at all to keep the girl but the problem with that is simple - you are only delaying the inevitable.
To put it simply:
Be honest with a girl (but still kind) - she may hate you, but will respect you. Possibility to become friendly again.
Try to keep it going a bit longer - she will hate you eventually for lying, wont respect you and tell all her friends how much of a prick you are.

Opinion on that?
Author:  trixsta [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Txrista, that is the easy way out which is fine and diplomatic. But what would hurt less - The Bank taking away the BMW that you really liked, was yours & you wanted or you selling your old car which you have no use for dont care and ready to move onto something Better ?
But what if you owed the bank money? Then the right thing to do would be to pay them back and not think of yourself ;)
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