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| Be YOU. Do YOU. https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=61334 |
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| Author: | ~Finesse [ Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Be YOU. Do YOU. |
One thing I have personally noticed, with people learning pick up, and I can say this, because it happened to me. (I'm not sure if I've written a post on this before, if not, I'm sure someone likely has). What I've found, is people tend to firstly look to methods or pick up gurus. From here, they either think one sounds the best to them, or, they just go by who the majority say is the best to learn from. secondly, after studdying some pick up shit for a while, or being in the community long enough to know what everything means. They'll start asking what people are using or focussing on, such as inner game, outer game, natural game, direct, indirect, etc etc... What happens next, is one of these things sounds like an interesting concept to them... so they ask/search for a product/material on that subject. And obsess over that. All this shit leads to, is guys learning a load of random stuff. That may not, and very likely, isn't suited to them as an individual. All this results in, is a lot of time spent focussed in the wrong areas. For example, and relation to my own experience. When I stared this shit, all I knew of was the game and mystery method, I stopped reading the game halfway but it was useful to let me know what the community is about(in a sense). So I started having a read into mystery method, beleiving this is the 'way things work', like i'd just been handed the secret scrolls of shaolin. So I started using this for the first month, it worked for me, felt odd, and I'd be lying if said i didnt enjoy the experience. Next, I got bombarded by tonnes of guys telling me that mystery method is shit and useuless etc etc... so now, i need to know whats the 'truth' and the way forward, and i start hearing all this shit about rsd and some other shit, probably hearing a lot of 'inner game' stuff. This lead to me looking into inner game, and rsd... to which i realised i didnt like tyler durden, didnt relate to him, so couldnt really learn from him. This happened with a few other gurus/companies, until i found AFC Adam's stuff and some pua training stuff. I've learnt a lot of useful shit from AFC Adam's stuff, but after a while of doing that, still felt something wasnt quite right, something felt odd, it didnt feel 'me'. I started realising that I was surpressing my own natural ways, and my own personality to try and use these methods. This started my search for a guru/product that absolutely suits my style, to which I've had a lot of trouble. So, at the end of last year/beginning of this new year, I decided to try going 'natural', and do my own thing, and learn from it. See what works, what didn't. Getting feedback/advice from 'advanced' guys in the community. Now, going natural, at first, can feel a little 'thrown in at the deep end' because you now have no 'method' no 'game plan' as such, no tactics. You just have yourself. The thing I believe helped me a lot, was having an understanding of what NOT to do, and how things work. Such as knowing about comfort, rapport (and breaking it), sexual escalation, other factors. (yeah sounded very afc adam there, huh (; ). I used to think things such as 'indirect and hiding your interest is the way forward'. Then I had an obsession with being social and really friendly and playful. When I had enough of not feeling 'right'. I dropped that, and started to realise who it is I am, what it is I want, and how it is I should handle things. Going natural, and being true to yourself can yield slower results at first, or leave you feeling a bit clueless, but it pays off bigger. I would advise it's really good to get an understaning of how things work at first, and what 'not' to do. Then from there, once you understand that, and know what you want, jump in the deep end and start interacting. Stay true to yourself, do YOU, be YOU, and YOU shall succeed. Much Love. ~Finesse |
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| Author: | Jav [ Sun Jan 31, 2010 7:52 pm ] |
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| Author: | venom0088 [ Sun Jan 31, 2010 7:59 pm ] |
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great post. To be honest alot of it can be said to be mysterys fault.. First thing he says in one of his dvds is how if u dont learn pick up it would on a estimate take you 130 years to pick up girls . HAHAH. Go Out have fun, If a girl gives u a look. Talk to her. I do agree gurus and methods do teach u some things. Take what u like from them.. . |
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| Author: | Ciornia [ Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:57 am ] |
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Excellent insights, Finesse. And great diagram, Jav. As with religion, there is one fundamental truth but many different ways of conveying it. So all the clamoring over the superiority of a particular belief system -- be it in a religious context or a pick-up context -- seems absurd. I agree that, if you're just starting out, it's okay to grasp onto the vines of a certain school of pick-up thought. But beware of holding on too tightly. Instead, see where you can swing, and take up other vines. And once you've reached a point of knowing and understanding the basic framework and concepts of pick-up, establish and follow your own best style -- a school with just a single follower who is both student and teacher. Ciornia |
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| Author: | Monkey [ Mon Feb 01, 2010 8:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
To be the voice of dissent: You're suggesting that elementary students should be taking university classes, Mr. Finesse. Learning pick-up is a natural progression; it takes time, and we each go through our phases as we learn it. To make a quick jump to natural game will, I think, stunt the growth of many people who would learn more quickly through base emulation than from trying to grasp higher concepts in the art and then leap headfirst into one of the most difficult versions of it. When I first began this art, I was using material directly out of The Game, unedited and incomplete, despite the warning that it was not a training manual. And it worked. Why did it work? Because the material in that book had a solid basis in the whys and the wherefores of pick-up. It did not teach those fundamentals because it was not a pick-up manual, and because an understanding of the underlying principles of pick-up was unnecessary for the book. This was elementary school. When I moved on to Mystery Method, I did much the same thing. I used his material verbatim, and it worked for me because it had a solid basis in the fundamentals. It did not _teach_ you the fundamentals because understanding the underlying principles of pick-up was unnecessary for the material in the book to work. This was junior high. When I started working on Juggler Method material, I first began to understand WHY pick-up works. I began to see the reasons for my previous success, not through the lens of "the material works" but "this is how the material works, and these are the fundamentals that will allow me to create my own material." This was college-level pick-up. As I progressed, I learned more. And more. And more. I learned the basics, I learned how attraction works, and humor, and comfort, and trust, and passion and seduction and power. By the time I could five-for-five, I had the equivalent of a diploma in pick-up. By the time I kissed over twenty girls in a single night (and got mono as a result), I had my master's. Now I'm working on the Ph. D. (Note: I want to point out that I do not believe that Wayne's material is superior to Erik's. They are very different in both approach and methodology, and as such, basically incomparable. This is simply the path that I took to a fuller understanding of pick-up as an art, and your mileage will likely vary) To jump from a very basic understanding of an interaction, to jump from having a basic idea of comfort, rapport and sexual escalation to a full-on natural approach is like suggesting that kids who can doggy paddle should get PADI certification. It IS really important to have an understanding of those concepts, but people should go through their phases at their own rate. If you think Mystery Method is the tits, well then rock your M3 until you're blue in the face. If you're rocking a completely self-made home-brew style, you're one of the artistes. If you've gone a couple of rounds with the heavies and you think you're ready to go completely au natural, give it a shot. But not before you're ready, and not before you want to. And you will find that, as you progress through your understanding of the art, Who You Are and What You Do will become much more in line with one another. I still used canned lines, but the lines that I use are very much my own, now. Personalizing the art, making it entirely yours, is one of the most important steps to becoming a master of it. |
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