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| Destroying Your BTBS https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=56712 |
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| Author: | Mindwarp [ Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Destroying Your BTBS |
Destroying your BTBS I have noticed repeatedly a mode of thinking which once haunted me in my AFC days. It is what I call “But the Boyfriend Syndrome”. The specific goal of a PUA from day to day may be varied, however the overall goal is the same: Social and sexual fulfillment. Whether your trying to just hook up with as many girls as you can because you love women and you love sex, or your trying to learn more about yourself and others through having relationships with the people your into, or your looking for the one to settle down with, the purpose is always fulfillment. The general trend is that you cannot be a PUA and also be a beta male. Thus the PUA studies body language, voice control and other nuances of social interaction to present an alpha appearance. However, if that appearance is not congruent with an inner alpha state, then it will easily be shattered in the presence of other actually alpha males. I would garner a guess that many PUA’s actually have a strong sense of morality and ethics because most people in the PUA community were once AFC beta males, that’s why they started reading the material in the first place. Many beta males have strong morals about how to properly treat a woman. Admittedly, so do many alpha males, but alpha males also can fall into the pimp-player-womanizer persona and devalue and degrade women habitually, whereas the beta AFC has never really had the opportunity to even do this. The study of the PU Arts is therefore a developmental process of going from point A to point B, or rather from point Beta to point Alpha. The goal is fulfillment, and the inner quest is congruence and self discovery. This is where But the Boyfriend Syndrome (BTBS) comes in. It’s a beta mentality which attempts to take responsibility for the lives and actions of other people. It’s not your responsibility to make choices for other people on this level. One argument could be made that those with BTBS are being congruent with their inner ideals, and therefore are exhibiting Alpha characteristics. However this is often not the case. The first and last moral code of the PUA is honesty with oneself and others. When you lie you break your congruence because it’s not really who you are, lying is a weak beta characteristic. The Alpha has no need to lie because he is comfortable with who he is, what he does, what he believes, and he doesn’t care what you think about it. Therefore as long as you do not seduce a girl with lies and false expectations, you have done nothing wrong by seducing her. The question of a boyfriend should not enter the picture. You are responsible for your actions; she is responsible for her own. If you fear that her boyfriend may come beat you up, this is a beta feeling, and the only way to get rid of it will be to learn a martial art so you can defend yourself against assault. There are numerous reasons why a girl will cheat on a boyfriend. In most cases it’s actually that the relationship of the girl is already faltering. In some cases it’s that she is not sexually fulfilled and sex is important to her. Some girls like to cheat, some girls don’t care, some like drama, and some are out to hurt their boyfriends. Furthermore there are the cases where the girl’s boyfriend is already cheating on her. Some PUA’s express that this lowers a girl’s value for ever entering into a serious relationship with them. However this should be judged, like all things, on a situational basis. Is the guy she is with an asshole? Leaves her alone all the time? Doesn’t treat her well? Then who cares, he clearly doesn’t cherish her, so why don’t you show her what a real man is like? You think she’s beautiful, then show her what men do with women they think are beautiful. Let’s take an example of a case where you actually meet the boyfriend and he turns out to be an OK guy. You learn, essentially, that their relationship problems are based on the same kinds of problems we all have, its not that he’s a jerk, or that she’s psychotic, its just that they are trying to figure themselves out, and they are having a hard time in their relationship. In this case I personally would not want to destroy a relationship by seducing this girl- since the real moral dilemma usually comes down to the idea that you may be able to seduce her, but then there will be negative consequences. In fact, I would allow myself to be friend zoned and then help her understand men more by talking with her about her relationship problems, plus she might actually turn out to be a good person and a good friend, and if she is hot I could use her as social proof and networking. In another case, if she’s trying to seduce you, you could outright question what she dislikes about her boyfriend to the point that she wants to cheat on him. You might discover that despite appearances, maybe he did something really fucked up to her. You can therefore go forward with the seduction, since she has stated whether or not it’s a lie that her boyfriend is not a good person. Or you could tell her straight up “I like you, but I met your boyfriend and he seems like an alright guy. If you don’t love him, leave him, and then we can talk”. This places the responsibility on her and also forces her into the realization that maybe she doesn’t love this guy. If she leaves him you have not done anything bad. In fact you have merely sped up what was likely inevitable, thereby preventing further hurt to the man in question. Bringing this back around however to the topic at hand which is that the goal of the PUA is fulfillment and perhaps there is a part of you that will enjoy the idea that your fucking another mans girl, there are many guys who do. Therefore you have no choice, since the one rule is honesty with oneself and others. If you hold yourself back, you will remain unfulfilled. If it’s in your nature to enjoy this, but you have not expressed it, then your thwarting your Will, and the Alpha male should be if nothing else a self willed being. As you can see BTBS is a fallacy. You either choose to pursue a girl, you can choose to give her an ultimatum, or you choose not to pursue her because she did not comply with your ultimatum. BTBS shows incongruence as indecision and the fear of making a definite choice, thereby asserting your will. As an alpha male and a PUA ultimately you do not make excuses. |
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| Author: | Jaybot [ Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I always argue the fact that no one in a happy relationship cheats, if they want to cheat then it is probably a relationship they shouldn't be in, thus they should cheat, then you hop in why you over anyone else, why not? you are an instrument, a living dildo so fuck it better you get something out of it than another randomer, |
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| Author: | Luky [ Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
This is totally applicable. (Un)fortunately, I mainly meet girls that have boyfriends. |
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| Author: | Herne [ Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:12 am ] |
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I agree with what your saying above but in my own personal case--and maybe you might find this very morbid thinking--but it would not be moral considerations or fear that would stop me but hygene reasons--if shes with some other guy i just find that being with her would be in some way sharing saliva or maybe worse body fluids with him--her being the conductor--i know its kinda sick---but for this very reason i have never gone near anyone that i have seen kissing another guy no matter how much time has passed--its still an embedded visualisation |
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| Author: | Herne [ Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:18 am ] |
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As for the martial arts it is very understandable--lets face it if you are a skinnyish 5'9 and you are going to out alpha a 6'4 brick shithouse--you will more than likely beat him hands down on the mental put down side of things but hes going to beat you up---as you all know most women have a very selective/ 2 faced idea about violence. those films wher alpha punches out small weedy guy and the girl thinks alpha is a jerk and weedy guy gets her when she goes to comes to comfort him---simply doesnt hapeen in real life--more likely she will have her eyes dancing in her head with excitment and be even more around the asshole than ever |
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