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Rejection & later seeing girls out that rejected you
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Author:  PUAdave [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Rejection & later seeing girls out that rejected you
Curious how you guys handle rejection & the aftermath. Generally when I initially get blown off. I try to do 1 of 2 things before walking away.

1. just be unreactive / unaffected (which I still find hard)
2. Look shocked and/or amused with a smile like, “wow that’s weird”

*2's easier for me & I've found that when you really believe it or sell it, can reverse blow some girls out & leave them stunned & if nothing else give you momentum leaving a tough set.

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2nd part of my question is I often encounter many of these girls I’ve opened badly in the past while learning again at these bars. I’ve tried to ignore them for the most part which was easy as most wouldn’t even look at me, or worse if they did they looked at me like I was nothing & put up a shield like you better not try especially those when I 1st started.

Anyway more recently things have changed even with some of the former harsh cases. I’ve had girls that I recognize as having blown me off before, or either more recently that weren’t of the terrible kind of blow outs, catch watching me, openly eyeing me, or even proximity going as far as bumping into me & looking back, like they wanted me to re-open them. Clearly they have seen me lording the club & with other women.

I’ve still been ignoring them mostly out of spite, but I started thinking why? It really wasn’t their fault I was a chump & learning. Been thinking maybe I should cautiously re-open them, but with the frame like “you had your chance etc”

I'm thinking when I see them shooting them a playful “you! you had your chance” look with a little head shake. See how they react.

How do or would you guys handle it? or in general girls you know have blown you off in the past. Do you give them a look or just ignore them.
Author:  Turn Up the Night [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
They probably got hit on at least 10 times that night, they may have just forgotten you.

However if you see them again after one night of rejection and then you come back and they're eyeing you up another night it probably means they don't remember you.

I don't claim to be an expert but tbh that is very possibly the case. Also they may have been a tad drunk when you tried chatting them up which also affects memory.
Author:  [Vegas] [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well the closest situation that I've been in that is similar went as so:

I was at a bar with a friend of mine toward the end of last semester. This was when I know of lot of the Greek life on campus had just finished a new pledge class and everyone was getting initiated and receiving his or her letters. My friend spotted a group of about six or seven girls near the back of the bar and they were all wearing the same shirts. I decided to take the initiative and go talk to them.

Skipping a bit ahead, I had gotten mixed reactions from the girls. Most of the girls seemed to enjoy my company and some of them played a little interview game with me asking what year I was, where I lived, my major, etc...

However, there was one girl in particular who was just being bitchy. I'm not blaming her though. She was there with her sorority sisters celebrating with their newly initiated members. Once she started really getting on my case about "interrupting" their celebration, I kindly said it was nice to meet them and I returned to my friend. Through out the night I had random sorority sisters coming up and talking to me and flirting and I knew that it was just that ONE girl who was annoyed. They even went as far as to apologize for her.

Long story short, I was at a house party the next weekend and the one bitchy sister was there. I debated going up to her and trying to talk, or just doing my thing with everyone else. I chose to just do my thing. I had two of my close girl friends with me and we were having a good time. The one bitchy sister actually came up to me later that night. She opened with, "Hey, do you remember me?". I played it cool and said, "Yeah, I had met you last weekend at XXXXX with your sorority sisters, but I never caught your name". She proceeded to give it to me and she stuck around. She started apologizing saying it was a stressful week and usually she loves meeting people.

There are a few points here. The first is, there is no need for awkwardness. Ever. So what if they blew you out before? They don't know you as a person and like you said, you were learning. If they are around, just have fun and do your thing. If they see you having a good time and having social value, they may want to join in on it. Second point, you never know what people are going through. The girls that have 'rejected' your approach may not be THAT bitchy all the time. They could be stressed, upset, etc. I'm not excusing that behavior or saying you can blame it on that, I'm just saying circumstances change and they may be more open to you later on.
Author:  Sexcellent [ Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
interesting stuff here

re-opening a girl that rejected you in the past is a little bit harder because your perceived value is probably much lower. However, it is definately do-able.

imagine this situation:
you are by yourself, waiting for your friends and you start gaming a girl. this girl rejects you and thinks you are a creepy loser. later that night 5 friends show up to meet you and some of them are girls. Now, imagine in front of the girl that rejected you, they are REALLY happy to see you. they are like "Yoooooo there he is!!!!!! whas up my man? how long were you waiting?". Now imagine the girls with them are hugging you and are like "hey handsome how are you??? its so good to see you!!!!!"

here, the girl that rejeted you will be kicking herself. she thought you were very low value before. now she thinks you have a lot of value. if you re-open this girl, she is gonna pretend she didn't just reject you before. she might even apologize for it.
Author:  PUAdave [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm sure some have long forgotten, but I think most clearly remember. I have a very recognizable face & some of those were pretty epic crash and burns.

A few of these worst old blow outs I know I will never recover. There are even a couple of girls I bombed with probly 8 months ago that I still catch signaling to other girls that are checking me out like “don’t bother that guys a loser”, but those are the rare cases. Most of these old opens I see around seem pretty receptive now.

I have actually re-opened a handful by accident myself probably with the same opener & relized I had met them. I’m know they remembered because a couple made mentioned it. Those seemed to go ok so I guess you can overcome a first impression.

I think girls pretend not to remember a lot of things, but they keep tabs ,because as a general rule I think PUA trained guys hit them with stuff they don't generlaly get & stand out (good or bad). I remember one girl I had opened saying opening me with "hey dave" then a couple minutes later telling me she forgot my name. Which I busted on her about. All games. Which BTW I have learned the importance of not remembering. Don't remember interactions or conversations or even names unless you know she remember yours.

My bigger question is how you guys treat blowouts initially & do you just ignore these girls when you see them in the future as a general rule or do you say hi, or something like give them a dirty look or what?
Author:  MindCoach [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 5:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
I woud suggest a few things:

1 - Your initial approach should be non threatening, not overy aggressive. This takes some of the awkwardness out of possible future contacts with rejectors.

2 - Learn to read body language so you can determine if a girl is at all interested. This saves you from sticking your neck out too far. (You can look up recommended reading on the web site in my signature below).

3 - Have an exit strategy! This can be as simple as a smile and saying, "Sorry, I thought you might be someone worth getting to know better." This is a subtle put down, but not outright insulting. It also puts the girl in the position of having to justify herself to you thus leaving YOU in a position of strength even in rejection.

Good luck!
Author:  Bangkok [ Thu Sep 17, 2009 8:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I woud suggest a few things:

1 - Your initial approach should be non threatening, not overy aggressive. This takes some of the awkwardness out of possible future contacts with rejectors.

2 - Learn to read body language so you can determine if a girl is at all interested. This saves you from sticking your neck out too far. (You can look up recommended reading on the web site in my signature below).

3 - Have an exit strategy! This can be as simple as a smile and saying, "Sorry, I thought you might be someone worth getting to know better." This is a subtle put down, but not outright insulting. It also puts the girl in the position of having to justify herself to you thus leaving YOU in a position of strength even in rejection.

Good luck!


Sir, I love the 3rd one......must try when I get the chance! :D
Author:  Visionxxxxxx [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
3 - Have an exit strategy! This can be as simple as a smile and saying, "Sorry, I thought you might be someone worth getting to know better." This is a subtle put down, but not outright insulting. It also puts the girl in the position of having to justify herself to you thus leaving YOU in a position of strength even in rejection.
Yep!

If she blows you out AS you approach her without even letting you get a word in...i just say...'jeez touchy touchy, guess you dont have a light then!'. This makes them feel bad and will often say 'wait wait sorry didnt mean to be rude blah blah'. You can tease here from there saying, 'ye for a second there I thought you were one of those scary people! it seems youre not so bad after all...' (gives her rep to live up to)

If they blow you out after youve done your opener...'wow well thats a pity, I really thought you looked like an interesting person at first glance!'...when you see her later on in the night or following night...as you walk past tease her by saying to your friend/wing...'ah theres that uninteresting girl again! watch out for her!' SMILE. often she will stop and 're-open' you.
Author:  PUAdave [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 1:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
One of the better comebacks I heard was when a guy said some girl told him to "fuck off". He said he looked at her and said..

"I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from we have one or two maners."

Said she flipped like a light switch and appoligized, and probably tried to be nice and make it up to him I would guess. Said he dated her for a while. I think this can be a good comback because it challenges things she probably holds pretty close like hometown, upbringing, parents etc. Take a cold chick to reflect badly on those things.

Shit would probably mess with their head especially if you said something like "I don't know who your parents were but mine raised me with one or two more manners than that". Not field tested though.
Author:  PUAdave [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Interesting new article from RSD on just this subject.

Quote:
if I am able to turn this rejection around coming in, the girls in the set want to sleep with me. They get mesmerized by how easy I handle rejection.

Now, most guys would have walked away when they get this type of rejection coming in. Unfortunately they don’t see the silver lining whatsoever. Rejection as an opportunity to show how strong you are internally. I literally make guys provoke rejection in women in order for them to be able to survive a bad first impression.


http://www.rsdnation.com/ozzie/blog/opposite-rejection
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