I'm on a wierd state of mind now...and I belive I have to tell you guys some things. Read the whole thing and tell me what you think.
This community its been labeled as a self improvement one.
First, I would like to make a distinction between self help and self improvement.
Self-help is about overcoming stuff, self-improvement is about (oh surprise) improving yourself as a person (my personal definition, if its not the one on the dictionary, sorry I dont own one)
When I think self improvement, I see two groups of people, the ones that really want to be a better person, with all the stuff that implies. And the people that want to get better at something because they want to fill a hole.
If you are smart, probably you know wich one of the two groups will be better mentally and emotionally in the long run.
You can be succesful with women, no matter on wich group are you. But please, think a sec about it.
The only example I can give to you guys is myself. Back when I was un-succesful with women, and a virgin, I never felt bad about being a virgin. I never felt self-pitty about it. And that make everything easier to digest.
Self improvement makes me think about metrosexuals too.
Its ok to want to look your best, but its important to remember that the way you look is just one aspect of a whole, it doesnt defines you. I've seen very ugly men making beutiful women literally fall on their knees. But still those men took care of their teeth, wore clothes that favored them, and generally took good care of themselves, you gotta love yourself to be loved.
Also self improvement makes me think about Tony Stark.
Its not a childhood hero, its a current one. I want to be like Tony Stark since I saw the movie Iron Man. I could analize his behavior, and copy the thing that I belive would make me as cool as Robert Downey Jr. made him appear. But thats fiction.
Trying to be someone else might get me chicks (I'm not saying it is wrong), but Stark lived and learned a lot of stuff from years of fictional existence. If I admired a real life person, that person would be like that product of years of experiences, a whole life that defined a personality.
I had a nasty breakup recently, I'm kind of depressed and a thought of writing that this is my last post flashed through my head, but I'm over those pathetic cries for attention.
I cant aproach now, I feel bad for old mistakes, even stupid ones, that makes me think what people thinks about me and it is really bothering me. I know how wrong is that, but I cant help it. I think that thats what held me from having succes in my early sex-less days, maybe some of you faced that obstacle too. That demon came back, and I dont know how to respond to it, maybe I just ignored the real problem, and in times of crisis it came back to bite my ass.
Back to that about how a lifetime of experiences define a personality; looking back at my life, I have to think hard to find something that I'm really proud of.
I was just reading a "personal escort's" blog. Cool blog, she talks about her clients and often an interesting story can be found there.
She said that she wont post again, everyone was like "dont do it we love your blog". She said "Now I realize that I'm important in your lifes, not in your lifes, more like in your boring days"
That got me thinking why I started to read about pick up. I dont want to be a normal guy, like the ones that read that blog just to satisfy their vouyerism and morbosity, wishing they could fuck a girl like that. (she is anonymous, but from the way she writes I bet that she is hot and smart).
I dont want to read stuff, I want to do it, I want to be there...I'm not talking about this escort chick in particular, I'm just saying I wanted to do stuff, have an interesting life...the stuff she wrote got to me, and made me feel like even If I was getting pussy ocassionally, I wasnt really doing something interesting with my life.
Certainly, it wasnt like Tony Stark's.
I read on one of countless dating, and pick up guides I've read in these years that one of the main characteristics of high value men was to belive that everything they did was cool...no matter what. I lack that now... I had something that resembled it but I lost it...everything looks boring now, the time I got that hot bartender's number, when I made out with the hottest chick in the club...that time I was at a table entretaining 8 girls at the same time, all of them listening to me and looking at me like they wanted to fuck me right there.
All those things...hold no value to cheer me up now.
But my real enemy here is my mind, is just that I'm seeing at things from a bad angle, and I'm not cooperating on making easy for myself to change my view on things.
I dont want you guys to feel bad for me, probably tommorow I'll feel ok again I'm writting this cause I belibe that the problem we all share, (or shared once) is in our minds, being succesful with women is not about lines or methods, looks or clothes, its about having control over yourself, physically and mentally. All the other stuff id just details.
The road is very bumpy, you can lost the reins pretty easly. The only advice I can give to people is to be persistent, and to never stop beliving in yourself.
I read that 90% of the people that gets into this stuff never gets succesful, now I know why.
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